The Bride’s Boon islamic pdf book free download

The Bride’s Boon islamic pdf book free download

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The Bride’s Boon
Tuhfat Al-‘Arous
Mahmoud M Al-Istamblli
Translated By:
Dr. AbdElhamid Eliwa
Al Azhar University
http://www.islambasics.com
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Foreword
All praise is due to Allah, Exalted be He, the One who made
marriage lawful and superior. He made it for the continuation of
mankind and the population of the earth. He the Almighty said in the
clear verses of His Book:
{(And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from
among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He
has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are Signs
for those who reflect)}
[Al-Rum 30:21]
These verses of the Noble Qur’an clearly show that in contrast to
other religions like Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism etc. which consider
celibacy or monasticism as a great virtue and a means of salvation,
Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved
institutions. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) declared,
“There is no monasticism in Islam.” He further ordained,
“O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that
will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty.”[Al-Bukhari]
“Many the affectionate and fertile (woman), for I will compete with
the other Prophets with the number of my followers on the Day of
Judgement.” [Ahmad and Tabarani]
The human desire, although common to all living beings, in case of
men and women there are some unique aspects. There are in Islam,
certain etiquette upon anyone who marries and wishes to consummate
his marriage with his wife. Most Muslims today, even those who exert
themselves in Islamic worship have either neglected or become totally
ignorant of these Islamic etiquette.
It is also important that you know how to deal with your wife to get
the reward of this worldly life and the Hereafter. The Messenger of
Allah (pbuh) is reported to have said,
“There are three things that bring happiness: a righteous woman
whom you admire when seeing her, and whom you trust as regards
your honor and property when leaving her, a good mount that enables
you catch your friends, and a wide house that has many utilities. But
there are three things that bring adversity: a woman whom you dislike
when seeing her, who hurts you with her tongue, and whom you do
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not trust as regards your honor and property when leaving her, a bad
mount that bothers you if you heat it, and if you do not beat it, it does
not help you catch your friends, and a narrow house that has few
utilities.”
[Narrated by Al-Hakim]
“Whoever Allah grants him a righteous woman has got one half of
his re1igion. Thus, he should fear Allah in the other half”
[Narrated by At-Tabarani]
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Table of Contents
• Foreword
• Introduction
• Marriage is an Act of Worship
o Marriage as Allah’s Favor
o The superiority of Marriage
o Chastity
o Women Are on the Top of Worldly Enjoyment
o Misconception of Worship
• Before Marriage
o Righteousness and Marriage
o Adulterers only Marry Each Other
o Beware of Outer Appearance
o Looking at One’s Prospective Partner
o Medical Check up before Marriage
o Undercutting Another’s Betrothal
o The Constant Love and the Blooming Marriage
o Marrying Young Ladies
o A Woman’s Guardian
• Islam and Love
o Marriage, the Best Bond for the Lovers
o Hard Love
• Blessed Marriage
o The Bride’s Consent Before Marriage
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o The Woman’s Right to Marry a Suitable Match of Her
Choice
o The Presentation of Ones Daughter (for Marriage) To a
Religious Man
o The Bride’s Dowry
o A Proposal of Marriage
o The Necessity of Giving the Dowry
o The Address While Marriage Proposal
• Recommendations before Marriage
• In the Bed room
o Caressing One’s Wife When the Consummation of Marriage
with Her
o What a Husband Says on the First Day of Marriage
o Women’s Speech
o What a Husband Says upon the First Time to Have Sexual
Intercourse with His Wife
o The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets
o What a Husband Does on the Next Day of Marriage
o How Does a Husband Approach His Wife
o Reward Even While Having Sexual Intercourse
o Reward for Those Who Have Sexual Intercourse with Their
Wives on Fridays
o Sodomizing One’s Wife
o Guarding One’s Nakedness Except from His wife
o Intercourse with One’s Wife during Menstruation
o One’s Privacy before his Wife
o Wash Yourself for Another Sexual Approach
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o The House Must Have a Place for Bathing
o Disaffecting a Person’s Wife
• Caressing
o Caressing One’s Wife
o Caressing One’s wife Even While Menstruation
o The Bathing of Husband And Wife together
o The Superiority of Caressing One’s wife
o Having Sexual Intercourse With One’s Wife While
o Fasting in Ramadan
o The Prophet, the Funny Husband
• The Wedding Banquet
o The Wedding Banquet
o The Obligation of Accepting the Wedding Banquet
o Not Accepting the Wedding Banquet If One sees something
disapproved of (from the standpoint of religion) in the
party
o Supplication While the Wedding Banquet
• Take Care of Women
o Kind Treatment of One’s Wife
o How to Deal with a Wife Whom You Dislike
o Forbearing One’s Wife
o The Exhortation of Taking Care of Women
o The High Rank of woman in Islam
• Advantages and Disadvantages
o Beautiful Women in Paradise
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o The Description of a Righteous Woman
o Undesirable Woman
o The Ideal Wife
o The Prophet, the Faithful Husband
• Rights and Duties
o The Wife’s Rights
o Deserting One’s Wife for a Long Time
o The Wife as a Friend
o The Husband’s Right towards his Wife
o A Woman’s Voluntary Fasting
o The Superiority of Maintaining One’s Husband
o The Heavenly Wives Defending Their Husbands
o The Reward of Obeying One’s Husband
o Take Care of Women
o The Responsibility of the Spouse Towards Each Other
o The Political and Military Goals of Marriage
o Evidence of the Prophecy
• Marriage Is Enjoyment and Responsibility
o The Marital Life Is Not Just for Pleasure
o From the Arms of His Bride to the Battlefield
o How Islam Brings up the Woman
o Women and knowledge
o The Leisure Time
o Characteristics of the Leaders Wives
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o The Prophet As A Serious Husband
o The Ascetic Life of the Prophet
o The Superiority of the Perseverance of One’s Wife
o Maintaining One’s Wife
o The Reward of Maintaining One’s Children
o A Miser Husband
o Having Many Children
o Giving the Call to Prayer in the Ears of the Newborn Baby
o Sacrifice for A Newborn and Circumcision
o Name-Giving
o The Prophet As A Kind Father
o Changing Silly Names
o The Tribulation of Children
o Islam and Girls
o The Reward of Taking Care of Girls
o Women and Teaching
o Maintaining the Woman’s Health
o Educational Principles
o Bringing up One’s Children
o When should a Child Be Ordered to Perform the Prayer
o Lying to One’s Children
o Equality Among Children
o Kind Treatment to One’s Children
o The Reward Granted to the Parents Who Have a Dead
Child
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o Intercession of Children for their Parents
o A Wife Should Relieve the Misfortune of Her Husband
o Obedience to One’s Parents
• The Tribulation of Women
o Cherchez la femme
o The seriousness of sex
o Non segregation of sexes and staying in seclusion with
woman
o O Wife Be Ware!
o A gaze Is one of Satan’s Arrows
o The Clear Truth
o A Wife Should Satisfy Her Husband as Quick as Possible
• Family and Dangers
o The Husband’s Relatives and Friends
o Beware of the Display of Woman’s Body
o Women Imitating Men and Vice Versa
o Negative showing off
o The Prohibition of Imitating the Unbelievers
• Chaste people Are under Allah’s Shade
o The Reward of Chastity
o Do Not Approach Adultery
o Sexual Relation in Paradise
o Repentance
• Jealousy Consumes Love
o Jealousy
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• A Feather in the Wind
o A wife Is Rebellion Against her Husband
o A Husband Is Rebellion Against His Wife
o Arbitration
• Sex: Questions and Answers
o Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex
• Translator’s Postscript
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Introduction
The marital life is an interesting and necessary institution. If one
fails to understand the core of the conjugal relation between man and
woman he will lead a life of oblivion and disorientation.
I hope that the prospective spouse study the technique of marriage
before getting into it. Unless we teach our prospective spouses the
correct way of their new marital life, they may resort to erotic books or
stories that mislead them. There are many misconceptions about
marriage and man-woman relationship.
Therefore, I decided to write this beneficial treatise and
authenticated treatment clearly explaining the way to a happy marital
life. I pointed out certain issues important to everyone who marries,
and with which many wives in particular have been tested. I ask Allah
Most High to bring about some benefit from this treatise, and to accept
this work solely for His glorious countenance. Surely, He is the
Righteous, the Merciful.
It should be known that there are many etiquette in the area of
marriage. All that I am concerned with here in this quickly compiled
work is the Qur’anic verses and that which is authenticated of the
Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, that which is irreproachable from
the standpoint of its chain of narration and upon which no doubt can
be cast in terms of its constructions and meanings. In this way,
whoever reads and follows this information will be on a clearly
established basis in religion, and will have full confidence in tl1e source
and validity of his actions. I hope for him that Allah will put the final
seal of felicity on his life, in reward for beginning his married life with
the following of the Sunnah, and to make for him among His slaves.
I openly discussed sexual relation between husband and wife. No
wonder, Islam is a realistic religion. Sex is a natural and creative urge.
Hence, Islam lays down great importance on marriage and the
constitution of a new family.
When talking about sex, the Glorious Qur’an is very euphemistic
though clear. Particularly, the Qur’an uses euphemism and figurative
speech when dealing with matters pertaining to sex and man-woman
relationship.
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The Qur’an deals with the human life and all what it contains. It
permeates into the personal relationship between husband and wife to
organize it. It further provides the remedy to one’s passion and
passionate love.
When recounting the story of Yusuf (pbuh), the Qur’an highlights
the conflict between the blazing sexual urge and the suppression of
that urge by adhering to Allah’s Guidance. Allah Almighty says:
{But she in whose house he was, sought to seduce him and she
fastened the doors, and said: ‘Now come,” He said: “Allah forbid! Truly
(thy husband) is my lord! he made my sojourn agreeable! Truly to no
good come those who do wrong and (with passion) did she desire him,
and he would have desired her, but that he saw the evidence of his
Lord: thus (Did you order) that We might turn away from him indecent
deeds: For he was one of Our servants chosen.}}
[Yusuf: 23-24]
The evidence which Yusuf saw was the evidence of faith. In the
Prophetic Hadith we have also another story which emphasizes that
faith is the safety belt that protects man against whatever he might
face of worldly appeals.
Allah’s Messenger said, “While three persons were traveling, they
were overtaken by rain and they took shelter in a cave in a mountain.
A big rock fell from the mountain over the mouth of the cave and
blocked it. They said to each other. ‘Think of such good (righteous)
deeds which, you did for Allah’s sake only, and invoke Allah by giving
reference to those deeds so that Allah may relieve you from your
difficulty.
One of them said, ‘O Allah! I had my parents who were very old and
I had small children for whose sake I used to work as a shepherd.
When I returned to them at night and, milked (the sheep), I used to
start giving the milk to my parents first before giving to my children.
And one day I went far away in search of a grazing place (for my
sheep), and didn’t return home till late at night and found that my
parents had slept. I milked (my livestock) as usual and brought the
milk vessel and stood at their heads, and I disliked to wake them up
from their sleep, and I also disliked to give the milk to my children
before my parents though my children were crying (from hunger) at
my feet. So this state of theirs and mine continued till the day
dawned. (O Allah!) If you considered that I had done that only for
seeking Your pleasure, then please let there be an opening through
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which we can see the sky.’ So Allah made for them an opening through
which they could see the sky.
Then the second person said, ‘O Allah! I had a she-cousin whom I
loved as much as a passionate man loves a woman. I tried to seduce
her but she refused till I paid her one hundred Dinars. So I worked
hard till I collected one hundred Dinars and went to her with that But
when I sat in between her legs (to have sexual intercourse with her),
she said, ‘O Allah’s slave! Be afraid of Allah! Do not deflower me
except legally (by marriage contract). So I left her O Allah! If you
considered that I had done that only for seeking Your pleasure then
please let the rock move a little to have a (wider) opening.’ So Allah
shifted that rock to make the opening wider for them.
And the last (third) person said ‘O Allah! I employed a laborer for
wages equal to a Faraq (a certain measure: of rice, and when he had
finished his ,job he demanded his wages, but when I presented his due
to him, he gave it up and refused to take it. Then I kept on sowing
that rice for him (several times) till managed to buy with the price of
the yield, some cows and their shepherd Later on the laborer came to
me and said. ‘(O Allah’s slave!) Be afraid O Allah, and do not be unjust
to me an give me my due.’ I said (to him). ‘Go and take those cows
and their shepherd. So he took them and went away. (So, O Allah!) If
You considered that I had done that for seeking Your pleasure, then
please remove the remaining part of the rock.’ And so Allah released
them (from their difficulty).”
This book consists of a scientific and realistic discussion of manwoman relationship. Spouses should know each other spiritually,
physically and sexually. They must not feel shy when discussing such
matters that to sex. They should feel that they are one entity. Platonic
love is not enough to unify the spouse hearts. Sexual satisfaction may
be the fruit of their physical and spiritual unity. Therefore, they must
be creative and cooperative.
Man-woman relationship is not only innate but also acquired. It
needs much study to be understood. It needs developing and
renovating so that the partners might not feel bored or monotonous.

Mahmud Mahdi Al-Istanbulli
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Marriage Is an Act of Worship
Marriage as Allah’s Favors1
Qur’anic verses:
The legal basis for marriage, prior to scholarly consensus and the
Sunnah is such Qur’anic verses as,
({[And among His signs is this, that He
created for you mates from among yourselves,
that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and
He has put love and mercy between your
(hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who
reflect.)}
[Al-Rum: 21]
{It is He Who created you from a single
person, and made his mate of like nature, in
order that he might dwell2
with her (in love).}
[AI-A`raf: 189]

1
Life is tough without enjoyment. One of the main objectives of marriage is the preservation and
continuation of the human race. Such an objective is encouraged by instinct and the processes of nature for
the procreation of the human species.
2
Husband-wife relationship is not merely a utilitarian relationship. It is a spiritual relationship and sustains
and generates love, kindness, mercy, compassion, mutual confidence, self-sacrifice, solace and succour. It
is to attain Psychological, emotional and spiritual companionship.
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The Superiority of Marriage
Qur’anic verses:
{Marry women of your choice, two or three,
or four; But if ye tear that ye shall not be able
to deal Justly (with them) then only one, or
that which your right hands possess. That will
be more suitable, to prevent you from doing
injustice.}
[Al-Nisa’: 3]
{They are your garments and ye are their
garments.}3
[Al-Baqarah: 187]
{Then marry women of your liking, two,
three, four}
[An-Nisa’: 3]
Prophetic Hadiths:
“When a man gets married, he gets one half
of the religion. Thus, he should tear Allah in
the other half.”4

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Men and women are each other’s garments: i.e., they are of mutual support, mutual comfort, and mutual
protection, fitting into each other as a garment fits the body. A garment also is both of show and
concealment. This emphasizes their sameness, their oneness, something much more sublime than legal
equality. The husband and the wife are described as each other’s raiment, not one as the garment and the
other the body. A garment is something nearest to the human body; it is that part of the external world
which becomes a part at’ our being. Such is the closeness of the relationship between the spouses. Dress is
something that covers the body and protects it. The spouses are protectors and guardians at each other. The
dress beautifies the wearer. One feels oneself incomplete without it. Husband and wife complement each
other; one completes and prefects and beautifies the other. This relationship also protects the moralswithout this shield one is exposed to the dangers of illicit carnality.
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Through marriage a Muslim can find his soul mate. Spouses complete each other. Therefore, it is
recommended for those who want to marry to choose their partners very well. Then, they would rather
perform two rak’ats and say the following supplication:
“O Allah, I ask You, of Your knowledge, for guidance and of Your power, for strength; and I ask You Your
great generosity. Certainly You are Powerful and I am not, and You are the Knower of the unknown. O
Allah, if You know this matter to be good for my religion, my worldly life, my life in the next world then
decree it for me and make it easy, and bless me in it. And if You know this matter to be detrimental to my
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(Reported by Al-Baihaqi)
Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr Ibn al-‘As reports the
Prophet (pbuh) to have said, “The worldly life
is an enjoyment, the best enjoyment of which
is a righteous woman.”
[Narrated by Muslim and An-Nisa’i]
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) reports the Prophet (pbuh) to have said,
“There are three people whom Allah will surely
help: a warrior in the cause of Allah, a slave
who wants to free himself by a payable
contract and whoever seeks chastity by
marriage.”5
[Narrated by At- Tirmidhi]
Chastity
Qur’anic verses:
{Let those who find not the wherewithal for
marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah
gives them means out of His grace.}
[Al-Nur: 33]
Prophetic Hadiths:
‘Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be
pleased with him) reports the Prophet (pbuh)
to have said, “O you young people! Whoever
can afford marriage should marry,6
for that will

religion, my worldly life, my life in the next world, then divert it from me, and turn me away from it, and
decree for me that which is good, wherever it may be. And then make me pleased with it.
5
Ibn Mas’ud says, “If I would live for no longer than ten days, I would marry lest I fall into a trial.”
6
‘Some scholars argue that marriage is a recommended act. They analyzed the imperative mode of the
Qur’anic verses and the Prophetic Hadiths as referring to one’s desirability and approval. Actually, in
marriage, people are of three categories:
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help him lower his gaze and guard his
modesty (i.e. private parts from committing
illegal sexual intercourse, etc.). Whoever is not
able to marry is recommended to fast, as
fasting diminishes (his) sexual power”.
[Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Women Are on the Top of Worldly
Enjoyment
Qur’anic verses:
{And among His signs is this, that He
created for you mates from among yourselves,
that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and
He has put love7
and mercy between your
(hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who
reflect.)}
[Al-Rum: 21]
Prophetic Hadiths
“What I like (most) of your world is three
things: women, perfume and prayer, which is
the dearest thing to my eye.”

A) A man who fears to approach an unlawful woman or any other forbidden sexual outlet because of sexual
desire. For such a man it is obligatory to marry in order to protect his religion and keep himself away from
the unlawful.
B) It is recommended for a Muslim who has desire for sexual intercourse but he can suppress it, to
marry. Being occupied with marriage is better than indulging into supererogatory devotional acts. sexual
intercourse but he can suppress it, to marry. Being occupied with marriage is better than indulging into
supererogatory devotional acts.
C) A man, who does not need marriage i.e., he is undesirous of it because of a physical defect like
impotence or he might no longer have desire because of old age or a chronic illness. Such a person may
apply either one of these two opinions:
1) He is recommended to marry for the above reasons.
It is superior for him to devote himself to worship instead. This is because he cannot fulfill marital duties
and further he might detain his wife who could have such duties done for her by another one.
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This glorious Qur’anic verse points out that the man-woman relationship is not merely for sexual pleasure.
It is a spiritual relationship and sustains and generates love, kindness, mercy and compassion.
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[Reported by Al-Nasa’i and Ahmad]
Misconception of Worship
Prophetic Hadiths:
Anas Ibn Malik reports:
“A group of three men came to the houses
of the wives of the Prophet (pbuh) asking
how the Prophet (pbuh) worshipped Allah,
and when they were informed about that,
they considered their worship insufficient and
said, “Where are we from the Prophet (pbuh)
as his past and future sins have been
forgiven.” Then one of them said, “I will
perform Prayer throughout the night forever.”
The other said, ‘I. will fast throughout the
year.” The third said, “I will keep away from
women and will not marry forever.” Allah’s
Apostle (pbuh) came to them and said, “Are
you the same people who said so and so? By
Allah, I fear Allah and I am conscious of Him
better than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I
perform Prayer and sleep, and I (also) marry
women. So he who does not follow my
Sunnah (tradition) is not from me (i.e. not one
of my followers).”8
[Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslin]
“The Prophet (pbuh) declared Salman and
Abu Darda’ brothers. One day, Salman
visited Abu Darda’. He found his wife wearing
shabby clothes. He asked her, “What is the

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It turns out that the above Hadith encourages marriage and warns whoever neglects it. Whoever neglects
it does not stick to the Islamic principles. Such a person will only be preoccupied with suppressing his
desire. Ibn ‘Abbas said, ” You would better marry. To spend one day in marriage is better than one full-year
of worship. Ibn Mas’ud said while suffering from plague, “Let me marry. I do not like to meet Allah nonmarried.” Ahmad Ibn Hanbal also said, “I dislike to spend a night without a wife.”
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matter with you Umm Darda’?” She said, “Your
brother, Abu Darda’ stands in prayer all the
night and fasts all the day. He no longer wants
anything from this worldly life. Then Abu
Darda’ came back greeted him and had some
food prepared for him. Salman said, “You have
to eat with me” Abu Darda’ said, “I am
fasting.” But Salman swore an oath that he
must eat with him” Accordingly, they ate
together. At night, Abu Darda’ wanted to spend
the night in prayer but Salman asked him not
to do (in that night). Then, he said, “Your body
has a right over you and your wife has a right
over you. Observe the fast sometimes and also
leave it (the fast) at other times; stand up for
the prayer at night and also approach your
wife at another night. Thus you have to give
every thing its right. In the morning Abu
Darda’ told the Prophet (pbuh) what Salman
had done with him. The Prophet (pbuh),
repeating Salman statement, said, “Abu
Darda’! Your body has a right over you…”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Tirmidhi]
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Before Marriage
Righteousness and Marriage
Qur’anic verses
{O mankind! We created you from a single
(pair) of a male and a female, and made you
intonations and tribes, that ye may know each
other (not that ye may despise each other).
Verily the most honored of you in the sight of
Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of
you.}
[Al-Hujurat: 13]
{Marry those among you who are single,9
and the virtuous10 ones among your slaves,
male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah
will give them means out of His grace: For
Allah is Ample giving, and He knows all
things.]
[Al-Nur: 32]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) reports the Prophet (pbuh) to have said,
“When a religious man who is of good
manners betroths a woman, he should not be
rejected; otherwise there will be corruption in

9
Single here means anyone not in the bond of … wedlock, whether unmarried or lawfully divorced, or
widowed.
10 Religiousness is the only condition mentioned in the verse for a suitable match. A religious wife who has
a good character and disposition helps her husband in all walks of life. She brings up children well, treats
her husband’s kin well, obeys her husband, fulfills his oath, pleases him when corning, and guards his
property and reputation when leaving.
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the earth”
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
“A Woman is married for four reasons: her
property, lineage, beauty and religion. You
should better marry the religious one
otherwise you will lose”.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Anas reported that the dowry given to Umm
Salim when marrying Abu Talha is his
embracing Islam.
[Reported by Al-Nasa’i]
Adulterers only marry each other
Qur’anic verses:
{The adulterer cannot have sexual relations
with any but an adulteress or an idolatress,11
and the adulteress, none can have sexual
relations with her but an adulterer or an
idolator; to the believers such thing is
forbidden.}
Beware of Outer Appearance
Qur’anic verses:
{When you look at them, their bodies
please thee; and when they speak, thou listen
to their words. They are as (worthless as

11 Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him) holds that it is forbidden for a Muslim to
marry a whore unless she repents to Allah. The marriage contract is only valid after her repentance.
Similarly, it is also forbidden for a Muslim woman to marry a whoremaster unless he repents to Allah.
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hollow) pieces of timber propped up,}
[Al-Munafiqun: 4]
Prophetic Hadiths:
“A man passed by Allah Messenger
(pbuh) and Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) asked
(his companions), What do you say about this
(man)? They replied, If he asks for a lady’s
hand, he ought to be given her in marriage;
and if he intercedes (for someone) his
intercession should be accepted; and if he
speaks, he should be listened to. Allah’s
Messenger (pbuh) kept silent and then a man
from among the poor Muslims passed by, and
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) asked (them), What
do you say about this man? They replied, If he
asks for a lady’s hand in marriage, he does not
deserve to be married; and if he intercedes
(for someone) his intercession should not be
accepted; and if he speaks, he should not be
listened to. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said, This
poor man is better than so many of the first as
filling the earth.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Looking at One’s Prospective Partner
Prophetic Hadiths:
Al-Mughira reports that when he got
engaged to a woman the Prophet (pbuh) says,
“Look at her, for it is more likely to create
affection and consent between you.”
[Narrated by At- Tirmidhi and An-Nasa’i]
Jabir reports the Prophet (pbuh) to have
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said,
“If a man wants to betroth a woman, he can
look at what entices him to accomplish his
marriage.”
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
“If a man wants to betroth a woman, he can
look at her even if she does not know.”12
Medical Check up Before Marriage
Prophetic Hadith:
“One should run away from the leper as one
runs away from a lion.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
“A patient not comes close to a healthy
one.”13
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]

12 Scholars disagree as to what parts of a woman’s body a man is allowed to look at. Some hold that a man
who wants to marry a woman can only look at her face and hands. Abu Dawud said that such a person is
allowed to look at the whole body. Ahmad Ibn Hanbal says, “There is no harm if he wants to look at her
unveiled i.e., displaying what she is used to display while working at home such as a head, a neck, arms,
and chin. This is because the Prophet permits the man to look at his prospective bride, even if she does not
give her permission to do so. In such a state some parts other than the face and the hand often appear. Just
as a man is allowed to look at his prospective bride, a woman’s guardian should also check the groom’s
righteousness and good manners.
13 The above-mentioned Hadiths draw the attention to the seriousness of the infectious diseases. Therefore
there must be a medical check up before marriage. Particularly, to check the fertility of the prospective
bride or groom and whether he is impotent or not. There must also be some medical examinations like RH.
24
Undercutting Another’s Betrothal14
Qur’anic verses:
[Do not transgress limits; for Allah loves not
transgressors.}
[Al-Baqarah: 190]
{And those who annoy believing men and
women undeservedly, bear (on themselves) a
calumny and a glaring sin.}
[Al-Ahzab: 58]
Prophetic Hadiths:
None should ask the hand of a lady who is
already engaged to his brother (Muslim), but one
should wait until the first suitor marries her or
leaves her.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]

14 It is unlawful to propose marriage to a woman to whom another has already done so, if the first proposal
has been openly accepted, unless the first suitor gives his permission. But if the first suitor’s proposal was
not openly accepted, then a second suitor may propose to her. It is also permissible for one to propose to a
woman to whom another has already done so, if the first suitor is corrupt. This is to save the woman from
his corruption. Thus, whoever is asked about what kind of person a prospective groom is should truthfully
mention his detects.
25
The Constant Love15 and the Blooming
Marriage
Qur’anic verses:
{But give them preference over themselves,
even though poverty was their (own lot). And those
saved from the covetousness of their own souls,
— they are the ones that achieve prosperity.}
[Al-Hashr: 9]
{Nor expect, in giving, any increase (for
thyself)!}
[Al-Muddathir: 5]
Prophetic Hadiths:
None is of complete belief until he loves16
for his brother what he loves of goodness for
himself.
[Reported by Ahmad]

15 Love is of many kinds: the best and higher kind of them is love for the sake of Allah. One day two
friends sat together and talked about another friend whom they missed very much. They were looking
forward to seeing him. One of them suggested that they should visit him. The other said, But he lives far
away in a remote town. It takes one full day to reach there. Let us wait until we hear something about him
or he himself might come. But the first friend was so worried about their absent friend that he decided to
visit him regardless of the suffering or the hardship he might face. After he performed the Fajr prayer, he
set off to visit his friend. He covered a great distance on foot. While he was walking he met a man. The
man asked him, Where are you going? He replied, to visit a friend of mine. The man said, Do you intend to
have him do you a favor or give you money? He replied, No, excepting that I love him for the sake of
Allah. Thereupon the man said, I am a Messenger to you from Allah to inform you that Allah loves you as
you love him.
16 If you want to know how blooming your marriage is you have to answer the following questions:
a- Do you seek after bringing happiness to the one whom you love? Do you feel that you want to help him
do what he loves?
b- Do you settle your arguments at once? Are you ready to disregard something of your pride while arguing
with him or her?
c- Do both of you think together? Do you plan for your future together?
d- Do you feel that both of you have the same goal?
26
Marrying Young Ladies17
Qur’anic verses:
And women shall have rights similar to the
rights against them, according to what is
equitable;
[Al-Baqarah: 228]
Prophetic Hadiths:
None is of complete belief until he loves for
his brother what he loves of goodness for
himself.
[Reported by Ahmad]

17 Some people may ask why the Prophet (pbuh) married ‘Aisha in spite of the big age between him and
her? Actually, This is an exception for the following reasons:
1- The Prophet’s incomparable character: ‘Aisha was given the choice and she chose the Prophet (pbuh).
2- The political goal behind that marriage: To strengthen the relationship with Abu Bakr.
3- The righteousness of ‘Aisha.
4- The Prophet (pbuh) was strong as many as forty men
5- Such marriage had great influence on the field of knowledge and the transmission of the prophetic
traditions. Many scholars of Hadiths have considered her an authentic narrator. She narrated 2210 Hadiths.
She had also contribution in the field of jurisprudence. She used to give her opinions on religious rulings
during the caliphate of Abu Bakr, Umar, and Othman (may Allah have mercy on him all). The people used
to ask her and she gave her answers from behind a screen. Abu Salama ibn Abd Al-Rahman said, I have
never seen anyone so much versed in the prophetic traditions, or with such profound understanding of
Sharie’a (Sacred Law) than `Aisha whenever people asked her. She was most knowledgeable of occasions
and circumstances of Revelation as well as the integrals of Islam. ‘Urwa ibn Al-Zubair, ‘Aisha’s nephew,
narrated, I kept the company of ‘Aisha and I have never seen anybody so much versed like her in Quran,
injunctions, Sunnah, or poetry. She was also unsurpassed in narrating Hadiths, Arab history, or Arab
ancestry, so on and so on, let alone the judicial matters and medicine. We have to put into our consideration
big age between the spouse may lead to misunderstanding and dissatisfaction. The old man however strong
cannot satisfy a young lady because she needs more than he can do.
27
A Woman’s Guardian
Qur’anic Verses:
{Marry those among you who are single,18
and the virtuous ones among your slaves, male
or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give
them means out of His grace: For Allah is
Ample giving, and He knows all things.}
[Al-Nur: 32]
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Marriage is invalid without a guardian and
two upright witnesses”
“Invalid is marriage without a woman’s
guardian. (The Prophet (pbuh) repeated this
statement thrice.
[Reported by Ahmad]

18 This verse is an evidence that forbids a woman to conduct her own marriage. There should be a guardian
who is responsible for concluding her marriage. The Hanafis hold that it is permissible for a woman to
conduct her own marriage. They mentioned the following hadith as textual evidence: The non-virgin
woman is worthier to organize her affairs than her guardian. As for the virgin, she must be asked for
permission. There is no Contradiction between the aforementioned Hadith and the Prophet’s saying:
Marriage is invalid without a guardian. Such a Hadith may be interpreted as referring to asking her
permission in the selection of her groom because the virgin may get coy when selecting her groom.
28
Islam and Love
Marriage, the Best Bond for the Lovers19
Prophetic Hadiths:
Ibn `Abbas (may Allah have mercy on them
both) related that a man came to the Prophet
(pbuh) and said O Messenger of Allah! I am a
guardian of an orphan girl. Two men betrothed
that girl: one of them is wealthy and the other
is poor. We like to give her to the wealthy but
she wants the poor! The Prophet said, Marriage
is the best thing for lovers.
[Reported by Ibn Majah]
Hard Love
Qur’anic verses:
{Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater
than we have strength to bear.}
[Al-Baqarah: 286]
{Man was created weak (in resolution)}
[Al-Nisa’:28]
{When they him, they did extol him, and in
their (amazement) cut their hands: they said,
Allah preserve us! No mortal is this! This is
none other than a noble angel}
[Yusuf: 31]

19 Love does not mean the lustful desire. This is a false love. No sooner does a man desire a woman than he
hates her after satisfying himself. Love, which is mainly portrayed in romantic stories, is just a kind of
fiction and dreams. Love only grows between spouses. As years pass, company and kind treatment enhance
such love. Real love gradually replaces the illusive love.
29
Prophetic Hadiths:
‘Amr ibn Al-‘As related Once the Prophet
(pbuh) sent me as a leader of an army in
which there was Abu Bakr and `Umar as
soldiers. When I came back, I asked the
Prophet (pbuh) O Allah’s Messenger! Who do
love most? Why, the Prophet (pbuh) asked.
‘Amr said, I would like to know. The Prophet
(pbuh) answered, ‘Aisha. ‘Amr said, I mean
from among men. The Prophet (pbuh) said,
her father.
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them
both) related,
Barira’s20 husband was a slave called
Mughith as if I see him now, going behind
Barira and weeping with his tears flowing down
his beard. The Prophet (pbuh) said to ‘Abbas,
O ‘Abbas! Are you not astonished at the love of
f Mughith for Barira and the hatred of Barira
for Mughith!’? Then the Prophet (pbuh) said,
Why do not you return to him’? She said, O
Allah’s Messenger! Do you order me to do so?
He said, No, I only intercede for him. She said,
I am not in need of him.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]

20 Barira was a bondwoman. She got married to Mughith. When she regained her freedom, she was given
the choice either to remain a servant with her husband or to separate him. She preferred to tree herself from
the bondage of slavery.
30
Blessed Marriage
The Bride’s Consent Before Marriage
Prophetic Hadiths:
“A non-virgin should not be given in
marriage except after consulting her; and a
virgin should not be given in marriage
except after her permission. The people asked,
O Allah’s Messenger! How can we know her
permission? He said, Her silence (indicates her
permission).
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Khansa Bint Khaddam al-Ansariyyah reports
that her father gave her in marriage when she
was a non-virgin and she disliked that
marriage. So she went to the Prophet (pbuh)
and he declared that the marriage invalid.”
[Narrated by Al-Bukhari]
Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with
him) reports,
“Once there was a girl who came to the
Messenger of Allah (pbuh) complaining. She
said, My father has married me off to his
nephew to elevate himself”. Thereupon, the
Prophet (pbuh) gave her the choice. She said”,
I accept what my father has done. But I
wanted that women should know that fathers
cannot compel them into marriage.21
[Reported by Ibn Majah and Ahmad]

21 If Islam gives the woman a free hand to choose her prospective groom, it is better for her no to misuse
such freedom. She should be aware when choosing her groom and not to succumb to the luster of this
world. She should bear in mind that this worldly life is perishable. Thus, she should prefer the durable to
the perishable.
31
The Woman’s Right to Marry a Suitable
Match of Her Choice
Qur’anic Verses:
{When ye divorce women, and they fulfill
the term of their (iddat), do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands, if they mutually agree on equitable terms. This instruction is for all amongst you, who believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is (the course making for) most virtue and purity amongst you. And Allah knows, and ye know not.} [Al-Baqarah: 232] Prophetic Handiths: Al-Hassan ibn Ma’qil ibn Yasar related that he gave his sister to one of the Muslims in marriage. When she stayed a period of time with him, he divorced her. He did not take her back until she fulfilled her due waiting period (iddat). Then both he and Al-Khattab
betrothed her. She accepted to go back to him.
When he asked her hand from Ma’qil, he got
angry and said, When I honoured you by
marrying her, you divorced her. By Allah, you
will not take her back
Al-Hasan said, Allah knows the man’s need
to his wife and the woman’s need too.
Consequently, Allah revealed the above verse.
When Ma’qil heard it he said all obedience to
my Lord. He then called her husband and said,
I marry you her in marriage and honour you.22
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]

22 Tirmidhi commented that this hadith indicates that it is not permissible for a woman to conduct her
marriage. There should be a guardian for the woman. Although Ma’qil’s sister was non-virgin, yet could
not conduct her marriage.
32
The Presentation of Ones Daughter (for
Marriage) to a Religious Man
Qur’anic verses:
{And when he arrived at the watering
(place) in Madyan, He found there a group of
men watering (their flocks). And besides them
he found two women who were keeping back
(their flocks). He said: What is the matter with
you? They said: We cannot water (our flocks),
until the shepherds take back (their flocks):
And our father is a very old man. So he
watered (their flocks) for them; then he turned
back to the shade, and said: O my Lord! Truly
am I in (desperate) need of any good that
Thou dost send me! Afterwards one of the
(damsels) came (back) to him, walking
bashfully. She said: My father invites thee that
he may reward thee for having watered (our
flocks) for us. So when he came to him and
narrated the story, he said: Fear thou not:
(well) hast thou escaped from unjust people.
Said one of the (damsels): O my (dear) father!
Engage him on wages: truly the best of men
for thee to employ is the man who is strong
and trusty. He said: I intend to wed one of
these my daughters to thee, on condition that
thou serve me for eight years; but if thou
complete ten years, it will be (grace) from
thee. But I intend not to place thee under the
difficulty: thou wilt find me, indeed, if Allah
wills, one of the righteous. He said: Be that
(the agreement) between me and thee:
whichever of the two terms I fulfill, let there be
no injustice to me. Be Allah a witness to what
33
we say.}23
Prophetic Hadiths:
‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab said, When Hafsa bint
‘Umar became a widow after the death of her
(husband) Khunais ibn Shuraiq As-Sahmi who
had been one of the companions of the Prophet
(pbuh) and he died at Madina I went to
Uthman ibn ‘Affan and presented Hafsa (for
marriage) to him. He said, I will think it over. I
waited for a few days, then he met me and
said, It seems that it is not possible for me to
marry at present. ‘Umar further said, I met Abu
Bakr As-Siddiq and said to him, If you wish, I
will marry my daughter Hafsa to you. Abu Bakr
kept quiet and did not say anything to me in
reply. I became angrier with him than with
`Uthman. I waited for a few days and then
Allah’s Messenger asked for her hand, and I
gave her in marriage to him. Afterwards I met
Abu Bakr who said, Perhaps you became angry
with me when you presented Hafsa to me and
I did not give you a reply? I said, Yes. Abu
Bakr said, Nothing stopped me to respond to
your offer except that I knew that Allah’s
Messenger (pbuh) had mentioned her, and I

23 In this connection we would better recount the following astonishing story: Abdullah ibn Wada’ a
related: I used to keep the company of Sa’id ibn Al-Musaiyyab. He missed me for several days. When I
came back, he said, Where have you been? I said, I was busy because my wife had died. Sa’ id said, Would
not you tell us to attend her funeral!? Then when I wanted to leave, he said: Would not you remarry? I said,
May Allah have mercy on you, who could do that. I have only two or three dirhams. He said, I could. Then
he started to praise Allah Almighty and ask Allah to have peace and blessings upon the Prophet. Then, he
married me to his daughter with two-dirhams (or three) as a dowry. I was very happy. I went home and
started to think of someone to lend me money. I was tasting on that day. After I performed the sunset
prayer I went home to I have my breakfast which was only bread and oil, I heard someone knocking the
door. I said, Who is that? He said, Sa’id. He said, Sa’id. I did not expect his coming. I thought that he
changed his mind. I said, O Abu Muhammad! Would not you send for me? He said, You are worthy to be
visited. I asked, What do you want me to do? He said, You are a single man and you have already married.
I dislike that you spend that night alone. This is your wife. She was standing behind him at that time. Then
he gave me her and left. Indeed she was a very beautiful and knowledgeable woman. It is worthy
mentioning that Sa’id has formerly refused to give his daughter in marriage to the son of the Muslim
caliphate, Abdul-Malik ibn Mrawan.
34
never wanted to let out the secret of Allah’s
Messenger (pbuh). And if Allah’s Messenger
had refused her, I would have accepted her.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
The Bride’s Dowry
Prophetic Hadith:
“Blessed is a woman whose engagement
and dowry are easy”.
Reported by Ahmad and Al-Nisa i]
“Once a woman came to the Prophet (pbuh)
and said, “I dedicate myself to you (for
marriage).” She stayed for a long period of
time, then a man said, “O Messenger of Allah!
If you do not want her, marry me to her”. The
Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “What do you
have to give as a dowry’?” I have nothing but
Izar (waist sheet). The man replied. The
Prophet (pbuh) said, “If you give her your Izar,
you will have no Izar to wear, so find
something (else).” He said, “I have nothing.”
The Prophet (pbuh) said, “(Try to) find
(something) even if (it is) a ring of iron.” But
the man went back with nothing. The Prophet
(pbuh) said, “Do you memorize something of
the Qur’an’? The man said, “Yes, I memorize
such and such and named some
surahs. Then The Prophet (pbuh) said, “I gave
you to each other in marriage for what you
memorize of the Qur’an.
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
“Abu Salama related that he asked, ‘Aisha
(may Allah be pleased with her), How much
did the Prophet (pbuh) give as a dowry? She
said, “The dowry which the Prophet (pbuh)
35
gave to his wives was only twelve uqiyyahs
and a nash. She said, Do you know the amount
of nash’? I said, No She said, It equals a half
uqiyyah. I said this five hundred dirhams
[Reported by Muslim]
Ibn ‘Abbas also related,
“When Ali got married to Fatimah, the Prophet (pbuh) asked him to give her anything, butAli said, I have nothing to give.
The Prophet said, “Where is your mantle
(which is called Al-Hutamiyyah’?
[Narrated by Abu Dawud and An-Nasa’i]
Anas reported that when Abu Talhah
betrothed Umm Salim, she said, By Allah, no
one can reject the like of you, but you are an
atheist and I am a Muslim woman. I am not
allowed to marry you. My dowry is to embrace
Islam, nothing else. When he entered Islam,
she married him and that was her dowry.
‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him)
admonished the People by saying, Do not
exaggerate in women’s dowry. Were it a virtue
in the worldly life or a devotion in the sight of
Allah, the Prophet (pbuh) would do it. Then he
said,” I have never known that the Prophet
(pbuh) gave more than twelve uqiyyahs as a
dowry to his wives likewise he received the
same amount when marrying off his
daughters.
[Narrated by Tirmidhi and Ahmad]
“’Ali ibn Abu Talib (may Allah be pleased
with him) said, The Prophet (pbuh) gave
Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) a
pillow of straw as furniture
36
A Proposal of Marriage
There was a man of the companions who
dedicated himself to the Prophet’s service. He
used to spend the nights near the Prophet
(pbuh) to serve him. The Prophet (pbuh) asked
him, Would not you like to marry? He said, I
am a poor man. In addition, I may stop
serving you. Another time the Prophet asked
him the same question and the man repeated
the same answer.
The man reflected on the Prophet’s Words
and said, The Prophet (pbuh) surely knows
what is better for me in this worldly life and
the next. He decided that if the Prophet (pbuh)
asked him to marry again he would agree.
When the Prophet (pbuh) asked him to
marry for the third time, he said, O Messenger
of Allah, may you marry me (to whomever you
like)? Thereupon the Prophet (pbuh) said, You
would better go to the family of such and such
and tell them that the Prophet (pbuh) asks the
hands of Your daughter to me. The man said, I
do not have anything (to pay as dowry). Then
the Prophet (pbuh) said to his companions,
Give your brother gold equal to a date stone in
weight. After hey had collected the gold they
Went to the bride’s family and they agreed. His
companions, then, gave him a goat for the
wedding banquet.
[Reported by Ahmad]
37
The Necessity of Giving the Dowry
Qur’anic verses:
[And give the women (on marriage) their
dower as an obligation;24 but if they, of their
own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you,
take it and enjoy it with right good cheer}
[Al-Nisa: 4]
{But if you decide to take one wife in place of
another, even if you had given the latter a
whole treasure for dower, take not the least bit
of it back: Would you take it by slander and a
manifest sin? And how could you take it when
you have gone in unto each other, and they
have taken from you a solemn covenant?}
[Al-Nisa : 20-21]
Prophetic Hadiths:
“The stipulations most entitled to be abided
by are those with which you are given the right
to enjoy the women’s private parts (i.e. the
stipulations of the marriage contract).
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
“If one marries a woman on a given dowry
and he intends that he will give her nothing, he
is considered a deceiver. If he dies without
paying her right, he will meet Allah as
adulterer on the Day of Judgment.
[Reported by Al- Tabarani]

24 Giving of dowry is an obligatory right of the wife, for there are many texts concerning this issue. No one
can do anything to this dowry except with her permission. Moreover, it is desirable that it be presented to
her, either as a whole or in part before the consummation of the marriage, as a sign of honouring her, and as
a proof of the intention to start a good life with her. There is no limit for dowry. It is permissible to be as
much as even millions. It is also permissible to be as little as even an iron ring. It is worth noting tl1at
extravagance in dowry is detestable, and that the lesser the dowry, the more the marriage is easy and
blessed.
38
The Address While Marriage Proposal
It is recommended to give a short address when (i.e before)
making a marriage proposal. Such an address begins by praising Allah,
thanking Him and asking Him to bless the Prophet) pbuh). The best
address is the following one:
The Address while Need
Praise be to Allah, we thank Him, seek His
help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge in
Allah from the evils of ourselves and that of
our bad deeds. He whom Allah guides is truly
guided, and he whom Allah leaves to stray,
none can guide him. I bear witness that there
is no god but Allah, besides Him no other
partner is and I bear witness that Muhammad
is His Messenger.
Then it is recommendable to read the following three Qur’anic
verses:
{O ye who believe! Fear Allah as He should
be feared, and die not except in a state of
Islam}
[Al-Imran: 102] {O mankind! Fear Your Guardian Lord, Who created you from a single Person, created, out of it, his mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women; --Fear Allah, through whom ye demand your mutual (rights), and be heedful of the wombs (that bore you): for Allah ever watches over you.} 39 [Al-Nisa’ :1] {O ye who believe! Fear Allah, and make your utterance straight forward: That he may make your conduct whole and sound and forgive you your sins: He that obeys Allah and His Messenger, has already attained the great victory.} [Al-Ahzab: 70-71] Then He can say, I have come to you to engage your noblest (and mentions her name) The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Every matter that does not begin by praising Allah will be cut off. [Reported by Tirmidhi] 40 Recommendations before Marriage Recommendations before Marriage It is recommended to advise the wife before the consummation of marriage. Anas said The Prophet’s companions when giving a woman to her husband in marriage they ordered her to serve and take care of him. The advice of a father: 'Abdullah ibn Ja'far ibn Abu Talib advised his daughter by saying: 1- Beware of jealousy; it is the key word of divorce. 2- Beware of much blame; it creates grudge. 3- Use kohl (a substance for lining one’s eyes); it is the best adornment 4- Water is the best perfume. The advice of a mother: A mother also advised her daughter before marriage by saying: "O dear daughter! You are leaving for a different home and customs. None can live without marriage. Men and women are created for each other. Thus you should bear in mind the following ten properties to lead a happy marital life: 1,2- Be modest and obedient, 3,4- Let him only see and smell what admires him, 5,6- Do not leave him hungry or disturb him while sleeping 7,8- Keep his property and take care of his children, 9,10- Do not disobey him or divulges his secrets. 41 A contemporary mother advising her daughter: "O dear daughter you are going to lead a new life. You will be in the company of a man who wants you to be for his own. Let him feel that you are the wife, the mother and every thing in his life. You have to bear in mind that a man is an old child. The least of words can please him. Let him not feel that he plucked you out of your family. He also has left his family to live with you. O dear daughter! This is your present and forthcoming life. This is the family you are going to set up together. 42 In the Bed Room Caressing One’s Wife When the Consummation of Marriage with Her Prophetic Hadiths: Asmaa’ bint Yazid ibn Al-Sakan related, "I adornedAisha when marrying the Prophet
(pbuh). When I called him to see her, he came
close to her and brought a cup of milk to offer
her. He offered her the milk to drink but she
was shy25 and lowered her gaze. Asma said,
Thereupon, I rebuked her and asked her to
accept what the Prophet gave her. Accordingly,
she took the cup and drank some (milk). Then
the Prophet (pbuh) said, Give it to your
friends.
[Reported by Ahmad]
What a Husband Says on the First Day of
Marriage
Prophetic Hadith:
“When anyone of you marries a woman or
buys a servant, let him say, “O Allah, I ask You
her good, and the good You created in her;
and I seek refuge from her evil and the evil
You created in her.

25 Shyness may motivate the males’ desire, but it should not be excessive lest it may lead to his
indifference. He may further think that his wife does not want him. The Prophet also sets a good example
before grooms who would like, from the first time of their marital life, to have sex with their brides without
giving themselves a chance to know each other or to make any kind of foreplay.
43
[Narrated by Abu Dawud]
Performing two rak’ats upon the first time to have
sexual intercourse with one’s wife:
Prophetic Hadith:
“When you enter upon your wife (for the
first time), you have first to perform two
rak’ats and then hold your wife’s head and say,
“O Allah! Bless my wife for me, bless me for
my wife, give her bounty out of me, and give
me bounty out of her!” Then you can do what
you want.”
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
Woman’s Speech
Qur’anic Verses:
{Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one
in whose heart is a disease should be moved
with desire: but speak ye a speech (that is)
just}26
[Al-Ahzab: 32]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Narrated Al-Awza’i: I asked the Prophet
(pbuh) “Which of the wives of the Prophet
(pbuh) sought refuge with Allah from him”? He
said,” I was told by ‘Urwa that ‘Aisha (may
Allah be pleased with her) said,
“When the daughter of Al-Jawn was brought
to the Prophet (pbuh) (as his bride) and he
went near her, she said, I seek refuge with
Allah from you. He said, You have sought

26 Woman is kind by nature. Therefore they should be aware of their speech lest people might
misunderstand or misinterpret their kindness.
44
refuge with the Great; return to your family.27
What a Husband Says upon the First Time
to Have Sexual Intercourse with His Wife
Prophetic Hadiths:
“If, whenever anyone of you makes sexual
approach to his or her mate, you say:” O Allah,
keep Satan away from us, and keep him away
from any offspring You may bless us with, then
the Satan will never harm any offspring you
are destined to produce.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom
Secrets
Qur’anic verses:
{The righteous women are devoutly
obedient, and guard in the husband’s absence
what Allah would have them guard.}
[Al-Nisa: 34]

27 Seeking refuge with Allah in this situation is meaningless. She would rather respond to the Prophet’s
(pbuh) feelings.
45
Prophetic Hadiths:
“On the authority of Asmaa’ bint Yazid who
narrated “that she was once in the presence of
the Prophet and there were both men and
women sitting. The Prophet then said:
“Perhaps a man might discuss what he does
with his wife, or perhaps a woman might
inform someone what she did with her
husband?” The people were silent. Then I said:
“O, Yes! O Messenger of Allah verily both the
women and men do that.” Then the Prophet
said: “Do not do that. It is like a male Satan
who meets a female Satan along the way, and
has sex with her while the people look on! “
[Reported by Ahmad]
What a Husband Does on the Next Day
of Marriage
On the next day of marriage a husband
should greet his kin who live in his house and
invoke Allah to them, as do they.
“When marrying Zaynab, the Prophet
(pbuh) held a wedding banquet in which he fed
the Muslims bread and meat. Then he met the
mothers of the believers, greeted them and
invoked Allah to them, as do they. He used to
do this whenever he consumn1ated his
marriage (with a new bride).
[Reported by Al- Nasa’i]
46
How Does a Husband Approach His Wife?
Qur’anic verses:
{Permitted to you on the night of the fasts,
is the approach to your wives. They are your
garments and ye are their garments.}
[Al-Baqara: .187]
{Your wives are as a tilth unto you so
approach your tilth when or how you will; but
do some good act for your souls beforehand;
and fear Allah, and that you are to meet
Him}28
[Al-Baqara: 223]
Prophetic Hadith:
“Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) said,
“The Jews claimed that whenever one
approaches his wife from her back, the child
will be born cross-eyed. Therefore Allah
revealed,
{Your wives are as a tilth unto you so
approach your tilth when or how you will}
The Prophet (pbuh) said when interpreting
that verse: “(It is permissible for one) to
approach his wife’s vagina from rear or front
position.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
“On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbas who said:
“The Ansar, who had been polytheists, lived
with the Jews, who were people of the book.
The former viewed the latter as being superior

28 Sex is not a thing to be ashamed of, or to be treated lightly, or to be indulged to excess. It is as a solemn
a fact as any in life. It is compared to a husbandman’s tilth; it is a serious affair to him: he sows the seed in
order to reap the harvest. But he chooses his own time and mood of cultivation. He does not sow out of
season nor cultivate in a manner, which will injure or exhaust the soil. He is wise and considerate and does
not run riot. Coming from the simile to human beings, every kind of mutual consideration is required, but
above all, we must remember that even in these matters there is a spiritual aspect. We must never forget our
souls, and that we are responsible to Allah.
47
to them in knowledge, and used to follow their
example in many things. The people of the
book would only make love to their wives from
the side, this being the most modest way for
the woman, and the Ansar had followed their
example in that. These people from the
Quraish, on the other hand, used to expose
their women in an uncomely maru1er. They
took pleasure in them from the front, from the
back, or laid out flat. When the Makkans came
to al-Madina at the time of the Hijrah, one of
them married a woman from among the Ansar,
and began doing that with her. She
disapproved of it and told him: “We used only
to be approached from the side, so do that or
stay away from me!” This dispute became very
serious until it reached the ears of the Prophet.
So Allah, the High Exalted revealed,
{Your wives are as a tilth unto you so
approach your tilth when or how you will}
[Reported by Ahmad]
Reward Even While Having Sexual
Intercourse
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Some of the companions of the Prophet
said to him: ‘O Messenger of Allah, the affluent
among us has taken the rewards (at the
hereafter)! They pray as we pray, fast as we
fast, and then they give charity from the
surplus of their wealth!” The Prophet said: “Did
Allah not make for you that from which you
can give sadaqa (a reward)? Verily for every
time you say Subhannallah (Exalted is Allah)
there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say
Allahuakbar (Allah is Most Great) there is a
48
sadaqa, and for every time you say AlHamdulillah (Praise is to Allah) there is sadaqa,
and in every act of enjoining what is right
there is sadaqa, and in every act of forbidding
what is wrong there is a sadaqa, and in your
sexual relations there is a sadaqa.” The
Companions said: “O Messenger of Allah, is
there a reward for one of us when he satisfies
his sexual desire?” The Prophet said: “Don’t
you see, if he had satisfied it with the
forbidden, would there not have been a sin
upon him?” They said: “Why, yes! He said: “In
the same way, when he satisfies it with that
which is lawful, there is for him in that a
reward.29
[Reported by Muslim]
Reward for Those Who Have Sexual
Intercourse with Their Wives on Fridays
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Whoever has a bath like that done
because of ritual impurity and goes out (to
mosque), he gives in charity a camel, a cow at
the second hour, a sheep at the third hour, a
hen at the fourth hour or an egg at the fifth
hour. If the Imam ascends the pulpit, the
angels turn to him to listen.

29 The dearest thing to Satan is to have a couple separated so as to drive them to the way of corruption. It
was reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said, Satan often sends his soldiers everywhere in the earth saying to
them, Whoever diverts a Muslim I will crown him. The most skilful one in diverting people, the nearest to
me. Meanwhile, a devil comes and says, “I kept tempting such and such until he divorced his wife.” Satan
says, You did nothing. He will marry another woman. Another comes and says, I kept tempting such and
such until he fell in adultery. Satan says, Great and well done. Then he makes him nearer to him and gives
him the crowns.
49
“Whoever has a bath on Friday and arrives
early at the mosque on foot, sits near the
Imam and listens in tranquility, entitles the
reward of a full year of work including fasting
in the day and praying in the night.
[Reported by Al-Nasa’i and Abu Dawud]
Sodomizing One’s Wife
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Allah does not look at whomever
sodomizes a woman30
[Reported by Al-Nasa’i]
Whoever has intercourse with a woman
during her period, or sodomizes a woman, or
who goes to a fortuneteller and believes him,
has committed unbelief (if he considers any of
these acts permissible].
[Reported by Abu Dawud and Al-Nasa’i]
Once `Umar ibn Al-Khattab came to the
Prophet (pbuh) saying, O Messenger Of Allah, I
became a loser! What happened, the Prophet
(pbuh) asked. He said, I changed the position
last night. The Prophet (pbuh) had no answer
to say .Then Allah the Almighty revealed,
{Your wives are as a tilth unto you so
approach your tilth when or how you will}
[Reported by Al-Nasa’i and Tirmidhi]

30 In his book, Zad al-Ma’ad, Imam Ibn Qayyim said, Approaching a woman from her anus is unlawful.
This is because the woman has also the right of sexual satisfaction. She cannot get any kind of sexual
pleasure by such position. The only natural and proper way to have sex with a woman is through her
vagina.
50
Guarding One’s Nakedness Except from
His wife
Prophetic Hadiths:
On the authority of Mu`aawiya ibn Haida,
who said: “I said: O Messenger of Allah, which
of our nakedness is allowed, and of which must
we beware? The Prophet answered, “Guard
your nakedness except from your wife or those
whom your right hand possesses.” (So it is
permissible for both spouses to look at and
touch the body of his or her companion even
the private parts). He said: ‘O Messenger of
Allah, what about if the relatives live together
with each other?’ The Prophet answered: “If
you can make sure that no one ever sees your
nakedness, then do so.” He said: ‘O Messenger
of Allah, what about when one is alone?’ The
Prophet said: “Allah is more deserving of your
modesty than are the people”. “
[Ahmad, Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi]
Intercourse with One’s Wife during
Menstruation
Qur’anic verses:
{They ask thee concerning women’s
courses. Say: They are a hurt and pollution: So
keep away from women in their courses, and
do not approach them until they are clean. But
when they have purified themselves, ye may
approach them as ordained for you by Allah for
Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly
and He loves those who keep themselves pure
51
and clean.}31
[Al-Baqarah: 222]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Whoever has intercourse with a woman
during her period, or sodomizes a woman, or
who goes to a fortuneteller and believes him,
has committed unbelief (if he considers any of
these acts permissible).
[Reported by Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi]
When the Prophet (pbuh) wants to do
something with one of his wives during her
menstrual period, he covers her vagina and
does what he wants.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
One’s Privacy before his Wife
Prophetic Hadith:
Mu’awiyah ibn Haydah (may Allah be
pleased with him) said, I asked the
Prophet (pbuh), which of our privacy can we
show? The Prophet (pbuh) said, Keep your
privacy hidden except before your wife and
what your hand possesses.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
“Abdul-Rahman Ibn Abu Sa’id al-Khudri
reports the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) to nave
said, “A man is prohibited to look at the

31 Modern Medicine proved that sexual intercourse with one’s wife during menstruation has many harmful
effects:
1- Pain in the woman’s reproductive system: uterine and oval inflammation that may lead to her infertility.
2- Inflammation in the man’s penis and scrotum that may also lead to his infertility.
52
awrah of another man, and a woman (is prohibited) to look at theawrah of another
woman. Let no man be covered with another
man by one cover, and let no woman be
covered with another woman by one cover.
[Narrated by Muslim]
Wash Yourself for Another Sexual
Approach
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Whoever has sexual intercourse with his
wife and wants to do that again would better
make ablution.”
[Reported by Ahmad]
“Abu Rafi’ related, “One day the Prophet
(pbuh) had sexual intercourse with all his
wives. He would before moving on take bath.
Rafi’ said, O Messenger of Allah, let it be one
bath. He said, this is better, more cleansing
and purifying.”32
[Reported by Abu Dawud and Al-Nasa’i]
“On the authority of `Aisha who said:
Whenever the Prophet wished to sleep or eat
while in a state of Janaba (i.e. after having sex
and before bathing), he would wash his private
parts and perform ablution as for prayer.
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
‘Aisha related,
“The Prophet (pbuh) used to sleep while

32 This is because water refreshes one’s body.
53
having ritual impurity without touching the
water and takes a bath after getting up.”33
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
`Aisha also related,
“When the Prophet (pbuh) has major ritual
impurity and wants to sleep, he makes ablution
or dry ablution (tayamum).34
[Reported by Al-Baihaqi]
The House must have a Place for Bathing
Prophetic Hadiths:
On the authority of Jabir who said: “The
Prophet said: “Whoever believes in Allah and
the Last Day, let him not allow his wife to go to
the Public baths. Whoever believes in Allah and
the Last Day, let him not go to the baths
except with a waist-cloth. And whoever
believes in Allah and the Last Day let him
never sit at a table at which intoxicants are
being circulated.”
[Al-Hakim and Tirmidhi]
“On the authority of Umm ad-Darda who
said: “I came out of the public bath and I met
Allah’s Messenger who said to me: ‘From
where have you come O Umm Darda’?’ I said,
‘From the baths’. Then he said: “By the One in
whose hand is my soul, every woman who
removes her clothes anywhere except the
house of one of her mothers has torn down all

33 ‘It is recommended for one to have a bath after sexual intercourse and before sleeping. Ablution is also
permissible. One is also allowed to sleep after having sexual intercourse without making ablution.
34 When unable to use water, dry ablution is a dispensation to perform the prayer or similar act without
lifting one’s minor or major impurity, by the use of earth for one’s ablution.
54
that veils her before Ar-Rahman.

[Reported by Ahmad]
Disaffecting a Person’s Wife
Prophetic Hadiths:
“He who disaffects a person’s wife or
servant from him is not of us.”35
[Reported by Ahmad]

35 It is unlawful for a person to mention any thing to another’s wife, son and so forth that could disaffect
them from him, unless one is commanding the right and forbidding the wrong.
55
Caressing
Caressing One’s Wife
Prophetic Hadiths:
Jabir related,
While we were returning from a conquest
with the Prophet (pbuh), I started driving my
camel fast, as it was a lazy camel. A rider
came behind me and pricked my camel with a
spear he had with him, and then my camel
started running as fast as the best camel you
may see. Behold! The rider was the Prophet
(pbuh) himself. He said, What makes you in
such a hurry? I replied, I am newly married.
He said, Did you marry a virgin or a nonvirgin? I replied, A non-virgin. He said, Why
did not you marry a young girl36 so that you
may play37 with her and she with you?
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Jabir also related,
When I married, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh)
said to me, What type of lady have you
married? I replied, I have married a non-virgin
woman. He said, Why, do not you have a liking
for the virgins and for fondling them?
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
`Aisha related,
“Eleven women sat (at a place) and
promised and contracted they would not

36 This is because a virgin woman has the luster of pleasure, clings to her husband and is easy to be learned
what her husband wants to implant of good manners.
37 The first time to have sex with your partner is very critical. Both of you may be fumbling and do not
know what he or she ought to do. This is because both of you plan how to lose his or her virginity as fast as
possible. Caressing one’s wife is so important at that moment. Speak to her about your love and passion.
Get to know each other’s body. Take your time in caressing each other and you will lead a happy life.
56
conceal anything of the behaviour of their
husband. The first one said, My husband is like
the meat of a lean weak camel which is kept
on the top of a mountain which is neither easy
to climb, nor is the meat fat, so that one might
put up with the trouble of fething it.38 The
second one said, I shall not relate my
husband’s behaviour, for I fear that I may not
be able to finish his story, for if I describe him,
I will mention all his defects and bad traits.
The third one said, my husband is a tall man:
If I describe him (and he hears of that) he will
divorce me, and if I keep quiet, he will neither
divorce me nor treat me as a wife. The fourth
one said, my husband is a moderate person
like the night of Tihama which is neither hot
nor cold. I am neither afraid of him, nor am I
discontented with him. The fifth one said, My
husband, when entering (the house) is a
leopard, and when going out, is a lion. He does
not ask about whatever is in the house. 39 The
sixth one said, If my husband eats, eats too
much (leaving the dishes empty), and if he
drinks he leaves nothing, and if he sleeps
alone (away from me) covered in garments
and does not stretch his hands here
and there so as to know how I fare. The
seventh one said, My husband is a wrong-doer
or weak and foolish. All the defects are present
in him. He may injure your head or your body
or may do both. The eighth one said, My
husband is soft to touch like a rabbit and
smells like a Zarnab (a kind of good smelling

38 Her husband is badly behaved, worthless, arrogant and miserly.
39 She compares her husband with a leopard, which is well-known for being shy, harmless and fond of too
much sleep. She compares him with a lion when he is out for fighting. Besides, he does not interfere in the
home affairs, e.g., he does not ask her how much she has spent, nor does he criticize any fault he may
notice.
57
grass). The ninth one said, My husband is a tall
generous man wearing a long strap for
carrying his sword, 40 his ashes are abundant41
and his house is near to the people who would
easily consult him. 42 The tenth one said, My
husband is Malik, and what is Malik? Malik is
greater than whatever I say about him. (He is
beyond and above all praises, which can come
to my mind). Most of his camels are kept at
home (ready to be slaughtered for the guests)
and only a few are taken to the pastures.
When the camels hear the sound of the lute (or
the tambourine) they realize that they are
going to be slaughtered for the guests. The
eleventh one said, My husband is Abu Zar’, and
what is Abu Zar’ (i.e., what should I say about
him)? He has given many ornaments and my
ears are heavily loaded with them and my
arms have become fat (i.e., I have become
fat). And he has pleased me, and I have
become so happy that I feel proud of my self.
He found me with my family who were mere
owners of sheep and living in property, and
brought me to a respected family having
horses and camels and threshing and purifying
grain.43 Whatever I say, he does not rebuke or
insult me. When I sleep, I sleep till late in the
morning, and when I drink water (or milk), I
drink my fill. The mother of Abu Zar’, and what
may one say in praise of the mother of Abu
Zar’? Her saddlebags were always full of
provision and her house was spacious.44 As for

40 He is noble and brave
41 He is so generous that he always makes fires for his guests to entertain them, and hence, the abundant
ashes he has at home.
42 He lives near to the people so that he is always at hand to solve their problems and help them in
hardships and give them good advice.
43 They were rich farmers. Her husband took her out of property into prosperity.
44 She was well-of and generous.
58
the son of Abu Zar’, what may one say of the
son of Abu Zar’? His bed is as narrow as an
unsheathed sword and an arm of a kid (of four
months) satisfies his hunger.45 As for the
daughter of Abu Zar’, she is obedient to her
father and to her mother. She has a fat wellbuilt body and that arouses the jealousy of her
husband’s other wife. As for the maid slave of
Abu Zar’, what may one say of the maid of Abu
Zar’? She does not uncover our secrets but
keep them, and does not waste our provision
and does not leave the rubbish scattered
everywhere in our house.46 The eleventh lady
added, One day it is so happened that Abu Zar’
went out at the time when the milk was being
milked from the animals, and he saw a woman
who had two sons like two leopards playing
with her two breasts. (On seeing her) he
divorced me and married her. Therefore I
married a noble man who used to ride a fast
tireless horse and keep a spear in his hand. He
gave many things, and also a pair of every
kind of livestock and said, Eat (of this), O Um
Zar’, and give provision to your relatives. She
added, Yet, all those things which my second
husband gave me could not fill the smallest
utensil of Abu Zar’ s. ` Aisha (may Allah be
pleased with he) then said: Allah’s Messenger
(pbuh) said to me, I am to you as Abu Zar’
was to his wife Um Zar’ .
[Reported by Al- Bukhari]

45 He was a slender man who ate little.
46 She was trustworthy, careful and clear
59
Caressing One’s wife Even While
Menstruation
Prophetic Hadiths:
The Prophet (pbuh) said concerning the
woman, who is in her menstrual period,
“Do what you want except sexual
intercourse.
[Reported by the five most authentic
narrators except Al-Bukhari]
When the Prophet (pbuh) wants to do
something with one of his wives during her
menstrual period, he covers her vagina and
does what he wants.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
The Bathing of Husband and Wife
together
Prophetic Hadiths:
On the authority of ‘Aisha (may Allah be
pleased with her) who said: “I used to bathe
with the Prophet from a single container of
water which was placed between us such that
our hands collided inside it. He used to race
me such that I. would say: “Leave some for
me, leave some for me!’47 1 She added: “We
were in a state of major ritual impurity (i.e. the
state of having slept together’”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

47 It is permissible for the husband and wife to bath together in the same place even though he sees her
private parts, and she sees his.
60
The Superiority of Caressing One’s wife
Prophetic Hadith:
Every thing that does not pertain to the
remembrance of Allah is amusement except
the following three things:
1- Caressing one’s wife, 48
2- Taming one’s horse,
3- Shooting arrows,
4- Learning how to swim.
[Reported by Al-Nisa’i]
Having Sexual Intercourse With One’s
Wife While Fasting in Ramadan
Prophetic Hadiths:
Narrated Abu Hurayra,
A man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and
said, I am ruined! The Prophet (pbuh) said,
Why? He said, I have had sexual intercourse
with my wife while fasting (in the month of
Ramadan). The Prophet (pbuh) said to him,

48 In this connection, a husband should treat his wife kindly and fairly. He should wait until she satisfies. If
one orgasms first, he should keep caressing her until she climax too. The Prophet (pbuh) said, None is of
complete belief until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself (of goodness). Thus if one orgasms
too soon, he should take his time before having sexual intercourse with his wife to caress her and get to
know her body. The wife also may postpone that until she gets to the point of climax. It is better for the
husband to immerse his penis in cold water. He may wash it while caressing his wife from time to time.
The clitoris has also a great role in stimulating the woman’s desire. Clitoris is the protruding part of the
vagina. Caressing that sensitive part should be done very carefully. Such caressing may be done before or
after the sexual intercourse until the woman orgasms.
61
Manumit a slave (as expiation). He replied, I
cannot afford that. The Prophet (pbuh) said,
Then fast for two) successive months. He said,
I cannot. The Prophet (pbuh) said, Then feed
sixty poor persons. He said, I have nothing to
do so. In the meantime a basket full of dates
was brought to the Prophet (pbuh). He said,
Where is the questioner? The man said. I am
here. The Prophet (pbuh) said to him, Give this
basket of dates) in charity (as expiation). He
said, O Allah’s Messenger! Shall I give it to
poorer people than us? By Him Who sent you
with the Truth, there is one family between
Madina’s two mountains poorer than us. The
Prophet (pbuh) smiled until his pre-molar teeth
became visible. He then said, Then take it.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
The Prophet, the Funny Husband49
Prophetic Hadiths:
`Aisha, the Mother of the Believers (may
Allah be pleased with her) said, “By Allah, I
saw the Prophet (pbuh) standing at the door of
my room screening me with his garment to
enable me to watch the Abyssinians playing
with spears in the mosque. I was placing my
head between his ear and shoulder, and my
face leaning to his cheek. Then he started to

49 Many may imagine that the Prophet, Muhammad (pbuh) was decisive all the time, even with his wives.
They may further sympathize with his wives for this reason. On the contrary, the Prophet was the kindest
one towards his wives. He was comical when it was time for fun. He was also smiling and used to cuddle
them.
62
say, O Aisha, were not you satisfied? I replied, No, to know how dear I am to him. He said that repeatedly until I became satisfied. [Reported by Bukhari] In another version, "He was standing especially for me until I became bored and left. Therefore, you should treat the girl who is fond of amusement (providing that it is permissible) according to her age. 'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) said, Once I traveled with Allah's Messenger (pbuh) when I was young and not fat. Then, he asked his companions to go forward and they did so. Afterwards he said, Let us race each other. Therefore, I started to run until I won. Later on when I became fat and forgot what had happened, I traveled again with him. He asked his companions to go forward and they did so. Then he said, Let us race each other. I forgot what happened in the first race. I was fat therefore I said, O messenger of Allah, how could I race you in this case? However, he said, Let us race. Then, he won the race. He started to laugh and said, This was opposite the last one. "The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) would say toAisha, (may Allah be pleased with her): “I
know when you become angry or pleased of
me” She said, “I asked, how could you know
that?” He said, “When you are pleased, you
say, “No, by the Lord of Muhammad and when
you are angry, you say, “No, by the lord of
Ibrahim”
(Reported by Bukhari)
‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) also
related,
One day the Prophet (pbuh) asked me,
63
What are these? My dolls, I replied. What is
this in the middle? He asked. A horse, I
replied. And what are these things on it? he
asked. Wings, I said. A horse with wings? he
asked. Have not you heard that Solomon, the
son of David, had horses with wings? I said.
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (pbuh)
laughed so heartily that I could see his molars.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
64
The Wedding Banquet
The Wedding Banquet
Prophetic Hadiths:
When Ali betrothed Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) the Messenger of Allah said, There should be a wedding banquet. [Reported by Ahmad] Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) related, 'Abdur-Rahman ibn' ‘Awf came to Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) and he had marks of Sutra (yellow perfume). Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) asked him (about those marks). 'AbdurRahman ibnAwf told him that he had married
a woman from the Ansar. The Prophet (pbuh)
asked, How much dowry did you pay her? He
said, I paid gold equal to the weight of a datestone. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said to
him, “Give a wedding banquet, even with
(only) one sheep.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Reported Anas (may Allah be pleased with
him),
The Prophet (pbuh) stayed for three days at
a place between khaybar and Madinah, and
there he consummated his marriage with
Safiyyah. I invited Muslims to his banquet that
included neither meat nor bread. Then the
Prophet (pbuh) ordered for leather dining
sheets to be spread, and then dates, dried
yogurt and butter were provided on it, and that
was the banquet (walimah) of the Prophet
(pbuh). Muslims asked whether Safiyyah would
be considered his wife or a slave girl of what
65
his right-hand possessed. Then they said, “lf
the Prophet (pbuh) screens her from the
people, then she is the Prophet’s wife but if he
does not screen her, then she is a slave girl.”
So when the Prophet (pbuh) proceeded he
made a place for her on the camel behind him
and screened her from people.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
The Obligation of Accepting the Wedding
Banquet
Qur’anic Verses:
{But when you are invited, enter; and
when you have taken your mail, disperse.}
[Al-Ahzab: 53]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Reported ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be
pleased with him) that Allah’s Messenger
(pbuh) said,
If anyone of you is invited to a wedding
banquet, he must accept the invitation. And let
him eat if he wants it, otherwise he should not
do.
[Reported by Muslim]
Narrated Abu Musa: The Prophet (pbuh)
said,
Set the captives free accept the invitation
(to a wedding banquet), and pay a visit to the
patients.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
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Limiting the wedding banquet to the wealthy people:
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) related,
“The worst food is that of a wedding
banquet to which only the rich are invited. And
he who refuses an invitation (to a banquet)
disobeys Allah and His Messenger (pbuh).”
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Inviting the righteous people to the banquet:
The Prophet (pbuh) said,
Do not befriend but a believer and do not
give food but to a righteous.
[Reported by Abu Dawud, and Tirmidhi]
Not Accepting the Wedding Banquet If One sees
something disapproved of (from the standpoint of
religion) in the party
Prophetic Hadiths:
Narrated Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) the wife of the Prophet (pbuh), "I bought a cushion having pictures on it. When Allah's Messenger (pbuh) saw it, he stood at the door and did not enter. I noticed the sign of disapproval on his face and said, O Allah's Messenger! I repent to Allah and His Messenger. What sin have I committed?” Allah's Messenger (pbuh) said, "What is this cushion?" I said, "I have bought it for you so that you may sit on it and recline on it." Allah's Messenger (pbuh) said, "The makers of these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them, "Give life to what you have created (i.e. these pictures)." The Prophet (pbuh) added, “Angels do not enter a house in which there are pictures.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari] 67 It is related that Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) refused to enter a house when he knew that there was a picture inside the house. Once they destroyed it, he entered the house. Ibn Mas'ud saw a picture in a house and went away. IbnOmar invited Abu Ayyub, and
the latter saw a curtain on the wall. So Ibn
‘Omar said, We have been overpowered by the
women in this matter. Abu Ayyub said, If I was
afraid that some people might do such a deed,
I never thought that you would do so. By Allah,
I will not eat anything of your food. And so Abu
Ayyub returned. 50
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Supplication While the Wedding Banquet
It recommended for those who attend the wedding banquet to say
the following Du’a:
May Allah bless yours (you Spouse), and
you, and join you in a happy union.
[Reported by Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi]
Then he can say:
(1) O Allah! May You forgive them, have
mercy on them and bless what you have
bestowed them.
[Reported by Muslim and Abu Dawud]
(2) O Allah! May You teed the one who
feeds us and provide drink to the one who
provided us.

50 Covering the walls with curtains is not prohibited but rather undesirable as argued by Ash-Shafii and Ahmad. This is because there is no a textual evidence that forbids it. It is narrated that Ibn 'Umar and others did so during the lifetime of the companions of the Prophet (pbuh). It is undesirable to do this because it may be extravagant like excessive clothing or overeating. 68 [Reported by Muslim and Al-Hakim] (3) May the righteous people eat from your food. May the angels pray upon you. May the fasting people have their breakfast with you. [Reported by Al-Hakim] 69 Take Care of Women Kind Treatment of One’s Wife Prophetic Hadiths: Abu Hurayrah relate that the Prophet (pbuh) said, "The best of you is whoever treats his wife kindly." [Narrated by Ahmad and Tirmidhi] Aisha (may Allah be pleased upon him)
related,
“The Prophet (pbuh) used to work for his
family, and when he heard the call for prayer
(adhan), he would go out.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
How to Deal with a Wife Whom You
Dislike
Qur’anic verses:
{Men are the protectors and maintainers of
women, because Allah has given the one more
(strength) than the other, and because they
support them from their means. Therefore the
righteous women are devoutly obedient, and
guard in the (husbands) absence what Allah
would have them guard. As to women on
whose part ye tear disloyalty and ill-conduct
admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share
their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if
they return to obedience, seek not against
them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most
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High, Great (above ye all).}
[Al-Nisa’ : 34]
{But it is possible that ye dislike a thing,
which is good, for you,}
[Al-Baqarah: 216]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) reports the Prophet (pbuh) to have said,
“Never a believer hates a believing woman. If
he hates one of her manners, he may admire
another. “
[Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim]
Umm Kulthum bint `Uqba related,
“I have not heard that the Prophet (pbuh)
permitted telling lies except in three cases:
(1) A man seeking reconciliation
(2) At war
(3) Talking to one’s wife or husband.51

Forbearing One’s Wife
Prophetic hadiths:
“Once the Prophet (pbuh) and Aisha were angry with each other. Meanwhile, Abu Bakr intervened as an arbitrer. The Prophet (pbuh) said (toAisha), either you or I speak. She
said, You can speak but you should tell the
truth. Thereupon, Abu Bakr bunched her
and said”, O the opponent of herself! Does he
tell other than the truth! Accordingly, she
resorted to the Prophet (pbuh) shelter and sat

51 Telling lies cannot be lawful in the general sense of the word. It means that one can pretend that he loves
his wife in order to keep the ties of the marital life and to give himself another chance to cling to his wife
and she to him.
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down behind him. The Prophet (pbuh) said, We
do not invite you to do that and we do not like
to so.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Once `Aisha said (to the Prophet) while angry, You claim that you
are a Messenger?
The Prophet (pbuh) smiled and forbore what she said.
The Exhortation of Taking Care of Women
Qur’anic verses:
{Live with them on a footing of kindness
and equity.}
[Al-Nisa’ : 19]
Prophetic Hadith:
I advise you to take care of the women, for
they are created from a rib and the most
crooked portion of the rib is its Upper part; if
you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you
leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you
to take care of women.
[Narrated by Al-Bukhari]
Another version reads,
The woman is like a rib; if you try to
straighten her, she will break. So if you want
to get benefit from her, do so while she still
has some crookedness.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
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The High Rank of woman in Islam52
Qur’anic verses:
{And women shall have rights similar to
the rights against them, according to what
is equitable ;}
[Al-Baqarah: 228]
Prophetic Hadith:
Women are men’s partners.
[Reported by Ahmad]
‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab said, By Allah we had
not paid attention to women in Jahiliyya (preIslamic period) until Allah revealed what He
revealed concerning them. One day while I was
pondering a problem, my wife said, You would
better do so and so. I said, It is none of your
business and how could you intervene in the
religious matters!? She said, Oh no! You would
not like to be retorted! Your daughter used to
answer the Prophet (pbuh) back to the extent
that he might become angry all the day.

52 One of the major themes that prevails the western mind is that Islam treats women as mere things. She
has no right to take part in social, political or economic life. She may rather have no right to go outdoors.
However, Islam still has so much to offer today’s woman: dignity, respect, and protection in all walks of
life. A woman in Islam is as responsible as a man for populating the earth. Both of them have to work for
the good of humanity. They will be questioned before the hands of Allah concerning that great role, let
alone the responsibility of disseminating the word of Allah. Both husband and wife have equal important
role in the family. These roles according to Islam, cannot be identical or the same but reciprocal and
complementary. The wife-mother’s role which is bringing up the children and providing love, affection and
warm gentle care for her family members, complements that of the husband who is breadwinner of the
family and who provides protection from the external world. In Islam, husband wife relationship is
governed by mutual understanding and mutual consultation over important problems. The wife in a Muslim
family should be a tremendous source of strength to the husband in facing the hardships of life. The
husband in turn should always be the firm shield that protects the wife from the hazards of life.
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Thereupon, I (‘Umar) proceeded after dressing
myself and entered upon Hafsa and said to
her, Did you answer the Prophet (pbuh) back
and keep him angry until the night? She said,
By Allah! We used to answer back what he
said.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
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Advantages and Disadvantages
Beautiful Women in Paradise
Qur anic verses:
{Verily for the righteous there will be an
achievement, Gardens enclosed, and
Grapevines; maidens of equal ages.}
[Al-Naba’ : 31-32]
{We have created them of special creation.
And made them virgin pure (and undefiled),
full of love (for their mates), equal in age,}
[Al- Waqi’ah: 35-37]
{In them will be (maidens), chaste,
restraining their glances, whom no man or jinn
before them has touched; Then which of the
favors of your Lord will ye deny’? Like unto
rubies and coral.}
[Al-Rahman: 55-58]
{In them will be fair maidens, good,
beautiful; Then which of the favors of your
Lord will ye deny? Maidens restrained (as to
their glances), in (goodly) pavilions.}
[Al-Rahman: 70-73]
{As to the righteous (they will be) in a
position of security, among gardens and
springs; dressed in fine silk and in rich
brocade, they will face each other; so and We
shall wed them to maidens with beautiful, big,
and lustrous eyes.}
[Al-Dukhan: 51-54]
{Those who have believed and worked
righteous deeds, shall be made happy in a
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Mead (of Delight).}
[Al-Rum: 15]
{And beside them will be chaste women;
restraining their glances, with big eyes (of
wonder and beauty). As if they were (delicate)
eggs closely guarded.}
[Al-Saffat: 48]
The Description of a Righteous Woman
Qur’anic verses:
{And beside them will be chaste women;
restraining their glances, with big eyes (of
wonder and beauty).}
[Al-Saffat: 48]
{In them will be fair maidens), good,
beautiful; Then which of the favors of your
Lord will ye deny? Maidens restrained (as to
their glances), in (goodly) pavilions.}
[Al-Rahman: 70-73]
{And they have therein spouses purified;
and they abide therein for ever)}
[Al-Baqarah: 25]
{Therefore the righteous women are
devoutly obedient, and guard in the (husband
s) absence what Allah would have them
guard.}
[Al-Nisa’: 33]
{It may be, if he divorced you (all), that
Allah will give him in exchange consorts better
than you, who submit (their wills), who
believe, who are devout; who turn to Allah in
repentance, who worship (in humility), who
fast, previously married or virgins.}
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[Al- Tahrim: 5]
{For Muslim men and women, for believing
men and women, for devout men and women,
for true men and women, for men and women
who are patient and constant, for men and
women who humble themselves, for men and
women who give in charity, for men and
women who fast, for men and women who
guard their chastity, and for men and women
who engage much in Allah’s remembrance, for
them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great
reward.}
[Al-Ahzab: 35]
Prophetic Hadiths:
The Prophet (pbuh) said (to the
companions), “Shall I tell you about the best of
your wives in Paradise? They said, Yes,
Messenger of Allah. He said, Every affectionate
and fertile woman, who, when her husband got
angry with her would say, This is my hand in
yours. I will never sleep until you are pleased.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Next to Allah’s piety a man may enjoy
himself with a righteous wife who obeys him,
pleases him when looking at her, fulfills his
oath, and guards his property and reputation
when leaving.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
The best women are the riders of the
camels and the righteous among the women
of Quraish. They are the kindest of women to
their children in their childhood and the more
careful women of the property of their
husbands.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
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The Prophet (pbuh) was asked, What kind
of women is better for marriage? He said, The
one who pleases her husband when looking at
her, obeys him when commanding her and
guards his property and reputation.
[Reported by Abu Dawud and Al-Nasa’i]
Undesirable Woman
Prophetic Hadiths:
Muhammad Ibn Sa’d Ibn Abi Waqqas
reports the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) to have
said, “There are three things that bring
happiness: a righteous woman whom you
admire when seeing her, and whom you trust
as regards your honor and property when
leaving her, a good mount that enables you
catch your friends, and a wide house that has
many utilities. But there are three things that
bring adversity: a woman whom you dislike
when seeing her, who hurts you with her
tongue, and whom you do not trust as regards
your honor and property when leaving her, a
bad mount that bothers you if you beat it, and
if you do not beat it, it does not help you catch
your friends, and a narrow house that has few
utilities.
[Narrated by Al-Hakim]
“Allah will not look at a woman who is
ungrateful to her husband, while unable to do
without him.”
[Reported by Al-Nasa’i]
There are two people whose prayers will not
be accepted until they retrain from what they
do: a fleeing slave and a Woman who disobeys
her husband.
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[Reported by Al- Tabarani]
Bad omen is in the women, the house and
the horse.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
The Ideal Wife
Prophetic Hadiths:
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) said, Once Jibreel came to the Prophet
(pbuh) and said to him, 0 Messenger of Allah!
This is Khadija coming to you carrying a utensil
containing food or drink. Would you please
pass Allah’s greetings to her when she comes,
and tell her that she will live in a house of
jewelry in Paradise where there is no noise or
toil.
[Reported by Muslim]
Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her), the first wife of the
Prophet (pbuh) was the most rational and descent woman in Quraish
tribe. She preferred to marry the Prophet (pbuh) before his
Messengership because of the integrity and the good manners he had.
She preferred him to all prominent leaders of Quraish who wanted to
marry her.
Muhammed was inclined, as Allah willed, to worship in solitude. He
kept on worshipping Allah in this manner in a cave on Mount Hira for a
month every year. He used to stay there for some days living on little
provision away from the vain talk and the amusement of the people of
Makka who worshipped idols.
The Messenger of Allah kept doing that for a period of time. Then
came Jibreel (peace be upon him) with Allah’s blessings while
Muhammad was in Hira’ in Ramadan. Having received Allah’s
revelation, he went home scared, pale and trembling. He said, “Cover
me, cover me.” After she knew what had happened, he said to her, “I
am scared, Khadija” This rational wife replied,
“May Allah look after us, Abul-Qasim, what good news, my cousin.
So be steadfast. By Whom in Whose hand is Khadija’s soul I think that
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you are the Prophet of this nation. By Allah, Allah will never let you
lose. You keep good terms with your relatives, are truthful, help the
weak, are a good host to your guests and help the afflicted.”
Khadija was the first to believe in Allah and His Messenger and to
embrace Islam. This faithful and loving wife supported her husband,
the Prophet (pbuh), and helped him endure the most severe kinds of
torture and persecution. Then, she relieved him when he was hurt or
rejected. When they called him a liar, she alone remained true. Then
the Qur’anic verses were revealed:
{O thou wrapped up (in a mantle)! Arise
and deliver thy warning! And thy Lord do thou
magnify! And the garments keep free from
stain! And all abomination shun! Nor expect, in
giving, any increase (for thyself)! But, for thy
Lord’s (cause) be patient and constant!}
[Al-Muddathir: 1-7]
The Prophet, the Faithful Husband
Prophetic Hadiths:
‘Aisha, the Mother of the Believers narrated,
“Once an old woman visited the Prophet
(pbuh) He asked her, “Who are you’?” She
replied, Juthama al-Mazniyya.” “Thus, you are
Hassanah! How are you!? And how do you do
after us? The Prophet said. The woman said,
Well, I sacrifice you with my father and
mother. When she left, ‘Aisha asked him about
the woman to know the reason for his
hospitality towards that old woman’? Then, the
Prophet told her that she often used to visit us
during the life of Khadija. He added, “Loyalty is
of belief”
[Reported by Al-Hakim]
‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) also
said,
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I was never jealous of any of the Prophet’s
wives (pbuh) except Khadija. I never saw her,
but the Prophet (pbuh) kept remembering her.
Sometimes he used to slaughter a lamb, cut it
up into pieces, and distribute them as
donations for the memory of Khadijah. Once I
said, it seems to me that there is never existed
any woman in this world except Khadija. Then,
the Prophet) pbuh) would say: she was so and
so and she had given me offspring”.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) also
said,
“I was never, jealous of any of the Prophet’s
wives (pbuh) except Khadija because the
Prophet frequently remembered her. One day,
he remembered her, therefore I said, What do
you do with an old woman, and Allah favored
you with someone better than her (meaning
herself)’? The Prophet (pbuh) said, “No, by
Allah! He does not give me a better one than
her.53 She believed me while people
disbelieved. When they called me a liar, she
alone remained true. She enriched me when
people deprived me. Allah has favored her with
my offspring, and from nobody else.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
The Prophet (pbuh) also said,
The best woman is Marayam bint `Imran.
The best woman in is Khadija bint Khuailid
(and he pointed to the heaven and the earth).
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

53 Such kind treatment to Khadija in her life and after her death indicates the Prophet’s noble morals and
loyalty. Although she was older than him and’ Aisha was younger, beautiful and knowledgeable the Prophet
kept loyal to her memory throughout his lifetime. Moreover, he did not marry again during her life. Then’
Aisha said to herself, “Never shall I mention anything concerning this issue thereafter” Actually, such
Prophetic behavior should be an example for all spouses allover the world.
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Rights and Duties
The Wife’s Right
Qur’anic verses:
{And women shall have rights similar to the
rights against them, according to what is
equitable; but men have a degree over them
and Allah is Exalted in Power.}
[Al-Baqarah: 228]
{Live with them on a footing of kindness
and equity.}54
[Al-Nisa’: 19]
Prophetic Hadiths:
One of the companions of the Prophet
(pbuh) asked him saying, O Messenger of
Allah, what is the right of one’s wife? He
answered, “To feed her when you eat, to clothe
her when you clothe yourself, not to slap her
face or insult her, and not to abandon her
except inside the home.”55
[Narrated by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and Ibn

54 Islam does not contribute to any theory of the fall of Adam symbolizing the fall of man. There was no
fall at all in that sense. Man was created for the purpose of acting as vicegerent on the earth and he came to
the world to fulfill this mission. It represents the rise of man to a new assignment, his tryst with destiny,
and not a tall.
Islam does not subscribe to the view that woman led man. (Eve leading Adam) to sin and disobedience.
According to the Qur`an Satan caused them both to deflect therefrom. Both were held responsible for the
act, both repented their transgression and both were forgiven. They entered the world without any stigma of
original sin on their soul.
55 The above Hadith indicates that the wife’s financial support is obligatory according to one’s
circumstances. As for abandoning her, it may be interpreted as refraining from sleeping with her, or giving
her his back after cohabiting with her, but not leaving her to live in another house.
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Majah]
On the Day of Judgement, the just people
will be on pulpits of light on the right Hand of
the Merciful: those who are just in their rule
and family.
[Reported by Muslim]
Deserting One’s Wife for a Long Time
One day while” Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) was walking
in Madina during the night, he heard a woman saying:
“What a long night! I do not have a lover with whom I can play. By
Allah! Unless Allah watches me there will be someone to make love
with me.
Accordingly, “Umar asked about that woman. He was told that her
husband was away from her for fighting in the cause of Allah. Then, he
ordered that they must gather together. He sent for the husband to
return. He entered upon Hafsa and asked, O daughter! How long can a
woman stay away from her husband? She said, Five or six months.
Therefore, he issued a command that warriors in the cause of Allah
should not be taken away from their wives more than six months.
The Wife as a Friend
Qur’anic verses:
{And women shall have rights similar to the
rights against them, according to what is
equitable ;}
[Al-Baqarah: 228]
{And among His signs is this, that He
created for you mates from among yourselves,
that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and
He has put love and mercy between your
(hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who
reflect.}
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[Al-Rum: 21]
The Husband’s Right towards his Wife
Prophetic Hadiths:
Had it been permissible that a person
prostrate himself before another, I
would have ordered that a wife prostrate
herself before her husband.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
Allah will not look at a woman who is
ungrateful to her husband, while unable to do
without him.
[Reported by Al-Nasa’i]
“There are three (kinds of) people whose
prayers are not accepted by Allah, nor does
any good deed of theirs rise up to heaven: a
fleeing slave until he returns to his master and
helps him, a woman whose husband is angry
with her, and a drunkard until he becomes
conscious.
[Narrated by Ibn Hibban]
Hussain ibn Muhsan’s aunt mentioned
her husband to the Prophet (pbuh) who said,
Evaluate yourself concerning your husband for
he is your Paradise or Hell-fire.
[Reported by Ahmad and Al-Hakim]
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A Woman’s Voluntary Fasting
Prophetic Hadiths:
It is not lawful for a woman to fast
(voluntarily) when her husband is present,
save by his permission. Nor to permit anyone
into his house except with his permission.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

A woman came to the Prophet (pbuh) while
we were with him. She said: Messenger of
Allah, my husband, Safwan ibn al-Mu’attal,
beats me when I pray, and makes me break
my fast when I keep a fast, and he does not
offer the dawn prayer until the sun rises.
He asked Safwan, who was present, about
what she had said. He replied: Apostle of Allah,
as for her statement He beats me when I pray,
she recites two surahs (during prayer) and I
have prohibited her (to do so).
He (the Prophet) said: If one surah is
recited (during prayer), that is sufficient for
the people.
(Safwan continued 🙂 As regards her saying
“he makes me break my fast,” she dotes on
fasting; I am a young man, I cannot restrain
myself.
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said on that
day: A woman should not fast except with the
permission of her husband.
(Safwan said 🙂 As for her statement that I
do not pray until the sun rises, we are a people
belonging to a class, and that (our profession
of supplying water) is already known about us.
We do not awake until the sun rises. He said:
When you awake, offer your prayer.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
It is not allowed for a woman to spend her
husband property without his permission.
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Someone asked the Prophet (pbuh), Even
food? He replied, This is the best of our
property.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
If a woman gives in charity something from
her husband’s property, she and her husband
will have the same reward: because he is the
owner and she is the one who spends.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
The Superiority of Maintaining One’s
Husband
Prophetic Hadiths:
Zainab, the wife of ‘Abdullah said, “I was
in the Mosque and saw the Prophet (pbuh)
saying, ‘O women! Give alms even from your
ornaments.’ “Zainab used to provide for’
Abdullah and those orphans who were under
her protection. So she said to ‘Abdullah, “Will
you ask Allah’s Apostle whether it will be
sufficient for me to spend part of the Zakat on
you and the orphans who are under my
protection?” He replied “Will you yourself ask
Allah’s Messenger?” (Zainab added): So I went
to the Prophet and I saw there an Ansari
woman who was standing at the door (of the
Prophet) with a similar problem as mine. Bilal
passed by us and we asked him, ‘Ask the
Prophet whether it is permissible for me to
spend (the Zakat) on my husband and the
orphans under my protection.’ And we
requested Bilal not to inform the Prophet about
us. So Bilal went inside and asked the Prophet
regarding our problem. The Prophet (pbuh)
asked, “Who are those two?” Bilal replied that
she was Zainab. The Prophet said, “Which
Zainab?” Bilal said, “The wife of ‘Adullah (bin
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Mas’ud).” The Prophet said, “Yes, (it is
sufficient for her) and she will receive double
rewards (for that): One for helping relatives,
and the other for giving Zakat.”
[Reported by Bukhari and Muslim]
The Heavenly Wives Defending Their
Husbands
Prophetic Hadiths:
Whenever a woman causes annoyance and
torture to her husband in this world, his mate
from among the Hour is of Paradise says to
her: May Allah ruin thee, do not cause your
husband annoyance, for, he is only your guest,
and will soon leave thee to join us in Paradise.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
The Reward of Obeying One’s Husband
Prophetic Hadiths:
If a woman performs the five (prayers),
fasts the month (of Ramadan), guards her
chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter
Paradise from any gate she wants.
[Reported by Abu Na’im]
If a woman dies while her husband was
pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
Hussain ibn Muhsan’s aunt mentioned her
husband to the Prophet (pbuh) who said,
Evaluate yourself concerning your husband for
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he is your Paradise or Hell-fire.
[Reported by Ahmad and Al- Hakim]
Take Care of Women
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) then set out
and the Quraysh did not doubt that he would
halt at al- Mash’ar al-Haram (the sacred site)
as the Quraysh used to do in the pre-Islamic
period. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh),
however, passed on till he came to Arafat and
he found that the tent had been pitched for
him at Namirah. There he got down till the sun
had passed the meridian; he coll11nanded that
al-Qaswa should be brought and saddled for
him. Then he came to the bottom of the valley,
and addressed the people saying: Verily your
blood, your property is as sacred and inviolable
as the sacredness of this day of yours, in this
month of yours, in this town of yours, Behold!
Everything pertaining to the Days of Ignorance
is under my feet completely abolished.
Abolished are also the blood-revenges of the
Days of Ignorance. The first claim of ours on
blood-revenge which I abolish is that of the
son of Rabi’ah ibn al-Harith, who was nursed
among the tribe of Sa’d and killed by Hudhayl.
And the usury of she pre-Islamic period is
abolished, and the first of our usury I abolished
is that of Abbas ibn Abdul-Muttalib, for it is all
abolished. Fear Allah concerning women! Verily
you have taken them on the security of Allah,
and intercourse with them has been made
lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too
have right over them, and that they should not
allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do
not like. But if they do that, you can chastise
them but not severely. Their right upon you
are that you should provide them with food
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and clothing in a fitting manner. I have left
among you the Book of Allah, and if you hold
fast to it, you would never go astray. And you
would be asked about me (on the Day of
Resurrection), (now tell me) what would you
say? They (the audience) said: We will bear
witness that you have conveyed (the
message), discharged (the ministry of
Prophethood) and given wise (sincere) counsel.
He (the narrator) said: He (the Holy Prophet)
then raised his forefinger towards the sky and
pointing it at the people (said): “O Allah, be
witness. O Allah be witness,” saying it thrice.
[Reported by Muslim]
A believer is not given to reviling, cursing,
obscenity, or vulgarity.56

[Reported by Ahmad]
The Responsibility of the Spouse
Towards Each Other
Qur’anic verses:
{O ye who believe! Save yourselves and
your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and
stones, over which are (appointed) angels
stern and sever, who flinch not (from
executing) the Commands they receive from
Allah, but do (precisely) what they are

56 Spouses should disdain such bad properties that are difficult to remedy.
You have an invaluable wife
Have you ever calculated how much your wife spends monthly if she is a rational one and is not fond of
imitating foreigners? She watches your children, cooks your food, washes and repairs your clothes. She is
your secretary, psychiatrist and lawyer. When you come back at evening you often complain to your wife
from the problems you face at work. She in turn starts to relieve you by having a bath together where you
may sprinkle water against each other as a kind of kidding and caressing. You may also caress each other
inside the bedroom. You may listen to a comic T.V show and have a cup of tea together. Would you feel
tired after such a program?
89
commanded.}
[Al-Tahrim: 6]
Prophetic Hadiths:
All of you are guardians and responsible for
your wards and the things under your care.
The Imam (i.e. ruler) is the guardian of his
subjects and is responsible for them and a man
is the guardian of his family and is responsible
for them. A woman is the guardian of her
husband’s house and is responsible for it. A
servant is the guardian of his master’s
belongings and is responsible for them.’ I
thought that he also said, ‘A man is the
guardian of his father’s property and is
responsible for it. All of you are guardians and
responsible for your wards and the things
under your care.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
The Political and Military Goals of
Marriage
Qur’anic verses:
{Against them make ready your strength to
the utmost of your power,}
[Al-Anfal: 60]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Marry a woman who is affectionate and
fertile, for I will boast over all nations
concerning your number.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
90
A woman came to the Prophet (pbuh) and
said, Men have taken the advantage of
listening to you; may specify a day in which
you can teach us of what Allah taught you?
The Prophet (pbuh) said, You can gather
together on the day of so and so in the place of
so and so. They gathered and the Prophet
(pbuh) came and taught them. Then he said, If
any woman of you gave birth to three children,
they will be a shelter for her from Fire. A
woman said, What about two children’? He
said, Or two.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Evidence of the Prophecy
Prophetic Hadith:
“Two are the types of the denizens of Hell
whom I did not see: People having flogs like
the trails of the ox with them, and they would
be beating people; and the women who would
be dressed but appear to be naked, who would
be inclined to evil and make their husbands
incline towards it. Their heads would be like
the humps of the bukht57 camel inclined to one
side. They will not enter Paradise and they
would not smell its odour whereas its odour
would be smelt from such and such distance.58
[Reported by Muslim]

57 Their heads would look like the humps of the bukht camel means that they comb their hair in the form of
a camels hump.
58 This is what the rich people do nowadays.
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Marriage Is Enjoyment and
Responsibility
The Marital Life Is Not Just for Pleasure
Qur’anic verses:
{O consorts of the Prophet: Ye are not like
any of the (other) women: If ye do fear
(Allah), be not too complaisant of speech, lest
one in whose heart is a disease should be
moved with desire: but speak ye a speech
(that is) just. And stay quietly in your houses,
and make not a dazzling display, like that of
the former times of Ignorance; and establish
regular prayer, and give zakat and obey Allah
and His Messenger. And Allah only wishes to
remove all abomination from you, ye Members
of the Family, and to make you pure and
spotless.}
[Al-Ahzab: 32- 33]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Allah has mercy on a man who gets up in
the night and performs prayers. Then he
awakes his wife (to pray) and sprinkles water
on her face if she refuses. Allah has mercy on
a woman who gets up in the night and
performs prayers. Then she awakes her
husband (to pray) and sprinkles water on his
face if he refuses.
[Reported by Al-Nasa’i]
If a man awakes his wife at night and they
92
perform two rak’ats together, they will be
counted among men and women who engage
much in Allah’s remembrance.
[Reported by Abu Dawud and Al-Nasa’i]
From the Arms of His Bride to the
Battlefield
Prophetic Hadiths:
“When Hanzhala ibn ‘Amir had been killed
the Prophet (pbuh) said (to his companions”,
(Angels are washing your friend now.59 When
they asked his wife, she said, No sooner did he
hear the call of Jihad, he left without having
the bath after sex.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
How Islam Brings up the Woman
Prophetic Hadiths:
Ibn Hisham in his seerah (The Biography of the Prophet), reported
Umm Sa’d ibn al-Rabei’ to have said, “Once, Umm `Imara visited me.
I asked her to tell me her story in the battle of Uhud. She said,
“I arrived at the battlefield in the beginning of the day. I was
supposed to provide the soldiers with water. The Prophet (pbuh) and
his companions were victorious at the beginning of the war. Then
when Muslims were about to be defeated, I stood by the Prophet
(pbuh) and began to defend him by sword and arrows until I was
injured. Umm Sa’d said, Then I noticed a deep wound in her shoulder.

59 How great is that companion of the Prophet! He did not postpone fighting in the cause of Allah until he
have a bath because after having sexual relation with his bride. He was newly married. It might be the first
time to have sex with his bride. Yet, he preferred to respond to Allah’s call so that he might be killed as a
martyr and gain what is beyond the human pleasure and felicity.
93
I asked her, Who injured you that wound? She answered, Ibn Qumu
ah; may Allah ruin him. When the people started to fleeing and leave
the Prophet (pbuh) alone, he attacked us saying, Where is
Muhammad? I will never be sate it’ he is still alive. I blocked his way
with Mus’ab ibn ‘Umair and some Muslims who kept defending the
Prophet (pbuh). That wretched man hit me with his sword. I also hit
him but he had two shields.
Ibn Hisham also reported, Safiyyah bint ‘Abdel Muttalib was in a
fort guarded by Hassan ibn Thabit (who was sick by then). She said, A
Jewish man attempted to attack the women camp. Watching the
Jewish man walking around the fort, Safiyya at once went to Hassan
and said, I doubt that man, since he might lead the enemy to us; you
have to kill him. Hassan replied, May Allah forgive you, I could not do
that.
Accordingly, she decided to get rid of that Jewish man alone. She
veiled herself, picked up a huge cudgel and went down the fort. All of
sudden, she hit the Jewish man on the back of his head several times
until he died.
Women and Knowledge
Prophetic Hadiths:
The best of women are the Ansari ones.
They do not feel shy to ask and learn the
religious matters.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
The Leisure Time
Qur’anic verses:
{Therefore when thou art free (from this
thine immediate task), still labour hard, and to
thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.}
[Al-Sharh: 8]
{If they pass by futility, they pass by it with
94
honorable (avoidance);}
[Al-Furqan: 72]
Prophetic Hadiths:
O the people of Arfada, let the Jews know
that we have amusement in our religion.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
A believer has only tour kinds of lawful
amusement: caressing his wife, taming his
horse, shooting arrows and learning how to
swim.
[Reported by Al-Nasa’i]
On the Day of Judgement a man will be
asked about four things: his life and how he
led it, his body and how he exhausted it, his
know ledge and how he made use of it, and his
property and how he gained and spent it.
Characteristics of the Leaders Wives
Qur’anic verses:
{O Prophet! Say to thy consorts: if it be
that ye desire the life of this world, and its
glitter then come! I will provide for your
enjoyment and set you free in a handsome
maru1er. But if ye seek Allah and His
Messenger, and the Home of the Hereafter,
verily Allah has prepared for the well doers
amongst you a great reward.}
{O consorts of the Prophet: Ye are not like
any of the (other) women: If ye do tear
(Allah), be not too complaisant of speech, lest
one in whose heart is a disease should be
moved with desire: but speak ye a speech
(that is) just. And stay quietly in your houses,
and make not a dazzling display, like that of
95
the former times of Ignorance; and establish
regular prayer, and give zakat and obey Allah
and His Messenger. And Allah only wishes to
remove all abomination from you, ye Members
of the Family, and to make you pure and
spotless.}
[Al-Ahzab: 28-33]
{Allah sets forth, for an example to the
unbelievers, the wife of Noah and the wife of
Lut: They were (respectively) under two of our
righteous servants but thy betrayed their
(husbands), and they profited nothing before
Allah on their account, but were told: Enter ye
the Fire along with (others) that enter! And
Allah sets forth, as an example to those who
believe the wife of Pharaoh: Behold she said: O
my Lord! Build for me, in nearness to Thee, a
mansion in the Garden, and save me from
Pharaoh and his doings, and save me from
those that do wrong.}
[Al- Tahrim: 10-11]
Prophetic Hadiths:
“When Jibreel (peace be upon him) came
with Allah’s revelation to the Messenger of
Allah (pbuh) in Hira’ Cave, the Prophet (pbuh)
went home scared, pale and trembling. He said
to Khadija, “cover me, cover me.” After she
knew what had happened, he said to her, “I
am scared, Khadija”. Khadija encourage him
saying, By Allah, Allah will never make you
lose. You keep good terms with your relatives,
are truthful, help the weak, are a good host to
your guests and help the afflicted.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
In Hudaibiya (a place near Makka), all
Muslims became disappointed because of the
treaty the Prophet (pbuh) concluded with the
unbelievers of Quraish. Having signed the
treaty, the Prophet (pbuh) commanded the
96
Muslims to slaughter their sacrificial animals
and have their hair cut to finalize their `Umrah
and go back to Madina. But nobody did what
the Prophet (pbuh) said. Afterwards, the
Prophet (pbuh) entered upon Umm Salama
and told her what had happened. Umm Salama
said, You would better go out and do not speak
to anybody until you slaughter your sacrificial
animal and have your hair cut. No sooner did
Muslim see the Prophet (pbuh) doing that,
than they started to slaughter their animals
and have their hair cut.
[Al-Bukhari]
In the battle of al-Qadisiyya, Al-Khansa
accompanied the army with her four children.
Before rushing into war she commended them
saying, O sons, you optionally entered Islam so
did you migrate. You are all my sons. I never
betrayed your father nor did I stain your
lineage or forged your ancestry. You know
what Allah prepared for Muslims of great
reward when fighting against atheists. You
have to know that the immortal life is better
than the perishable. Allah the Almighty said.
“O ye who believe! Persevere in patience
and constancy; vie in such perseverance;
strengthen each other; and fear God; that ye
may prosper”.
[Al- Imran: 200]
In the morning, they waded into war and
kept fighting until they all died. Having known
about the death of her four sons, she said,
“Praise be to Allah Who gave me the honour of
their martyrdom. I invoke Allah to let me meet
them in Paradise”.
97
The Prophet As A Serious Husband
Qur’anic verses:
{O Prophet! Say to thy consorts: if it be
that ye desire the life of this world, and its
glitter then come! I will provide for your
enjoyment and set you free in a handsome
manner. But if ye seek Allah and His
Messenger, and the Home of the Hereafter,
verily Allah has prepared for the well-doers
amongst you a great reward.}60

60 Abu Bakr Callie and sought permission to see Allah’s Messenger (pbuh). He found people sitting at his
door and none amongst them had been granted permission, but it was granted to Abu Bakr and he went in.
Then came Umar and he sought permission and it was granted to him and he found Allah’s Apostle (pbuh)
sitting sad and silent with his wives around him. He (Umar) said: I wanted say something which would
make the Holy Prophet (pbuh) laugh, so he said: Messenger of Allah, I wish you had seen (the treatment
meted out to) the daughter of Khadijah when she asked me for some money, and I got up and slapped her
on her neck. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) laughed and said: They are around me as you see, asking for
extra money. Abu Bakr then got up, went to Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) and slapped her on the neck,
and Umar stood up before Hafsah and slapped her saying: You ask Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) for that which
he does not possess. They said: By Allah, we do not ask Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) for anything he does not
possess. Then he withdrew from them for a month or for twenty-nine days. Then this verse was revealed to
him:
{O Prophet! Say to thy consorts: if it be that ye desire the life of this world, and its glitter then come! I will
provide for your enjoyment and set you free in a handsome manner. But if ye seek Allah and His
Messenger, and the Home of the Hereafter, verily Allah has prepared for the well-doers amongst you a
great reward.}
[Al-Ahzab: 28]
He then went to Aisha and said: I want to propound something to you, Aisha, but want no hasty reply
before you consult your parents. She said: Messenger of Allah, what is that? He (the Holy Prophet) recited
to her the verse, whereupon she said: Is it about you that I should consult my parents, Messenger of Allah?
Nay, I choose Allah, His Messenger, and the Last Abode; but I ask you not to tell any of your wives what I
have said. He replied: Not one of them will ask me without my informing her. God did not send me to be
harsh, or cause harm, but He sent me to teach and make things easy.
98
The Ascetic Life of the Prophet
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased upon
him) said,
“Once I entered upon the Prophet (pbuh)
while he was sleeping on a mat of palm-leaves
which left traces on his side. I said to him,
Would you not have bedding beneath you to
protect your side. He said, I have nothing to do
with this world? This world and I are like a
traveler who resorted to the shade of a tree
and then left.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
‘Umar made a mention of what had fallen to
the lot of people out of the material world and
he said: I saw Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) spend
the whole day being upset because of hunger
and he could not get even an inferior quality of
dates with which he could fill his belly.
[Reported by Muslim]
‘Urwaa ibn AI-Zubair related, “Aisha said to
me, “O my nephew! We used to see the
crescent, and then the crescent and then the
crescent in this way we saw three crescents in
two months and no fire (for cooking) used to
be made in the houses of Allah’s Apostle. I
said, “O my aunt! Then what use to sustain
you?” ‘Aisha said, “The two black things: dates
and water, our neighbors from Ansar had some
Manarh and they used to present Allah’s
Apostle some of their milk and he used to
make us drink.”
99
The Superiority of the Perseverance of
One’s Wife
Prophetic Hadiths:
`Aisha (may Allah be pleased upon her)
related that she said to ‘Urwa, O nephew! We
would see the new moon followed by another
new moon: two months without having fire in
the Prophet’s houses (i.e., cooking). He said, O
aunt! What did you teed on? She said, Just
dates and water.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased upon her)
also related,
“The Prophet (pbuh) has never eaten bread
of barely two successive days and become
satiated until he died”.
Once Fatima carne to the Prophet (pbuh)
complaining from the toil she faced when
grinding. She knew that the Prophet (pbuh)
had got a new slave. The Prophet (pbuh) said,
“Would you like something better than you
wanted?” When going to bed glorify Allah (i.e.,
to say Subhana Allah) thirty three times at the
end of every prayer, to praise Allah (i.e.
Alhamdu lillah) thirty three times and magnify
Allah (i.e. Allahu Akbar) thirty three times.
Asma related,
“When Az-Zubair married me, he had not
real property or anything else except a camel,
which drew water from the well, and his horse.
I used to feed his horse with fodder and drew
water and sew the bucket for drawing it, and
prepare the dough, but I did not know how to
bake bread. So our Ansari neighbors used to
bake bread for me, and they were honorable
ladies. I used to carry the date stones on my
head from Zubair’s land to him by Allah’s
100
Messenger and this land was two third Farsakh
(about two miles) from my house. One day,
while I was corning with the date stones on my
head, I met Allah’s Messenger along with some
Ansari people. He called me and then,
(directing his camel to kneel down) said, Ikh!
Ikh! So as to make me ride behind him (on his
camel). I felt shy to travel with the men and
remembered Az-Zubair and his sense of Ghira,
for he had the greatest sense of Ghira of all
the people. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) noticed
that I felt shy, so he proceeded. I came to AzZubair and said, I met Allah’s Messenger
(pbuh) while I was carrying a load of date
stones on my, and he had some companions
with him. He made his camel kneel down so
that I might ride, but I felt shy in his presence
and remembered your sense of Ghira on that
Az-Zubair said, By Allah, your carrying the
date-stones (and you being seen by the
Prophet (pbuh) in such a state) is more
shameful to me than your riding with him. (I
continued serving in this way) until Abu Bakr
sent me a servant to look after the horse,
whereupon I felt as if he had set me free.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Maintaining One’s Wife
Prophetic Hadiths:
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said: Of the dinar
you spend as a contribution in Allah’s path, or
to set free a slave, or as a Sadaqah (charity)
given to a needy, or to support your family,
the one yielding the greatest reward is that
which you spent on your family.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
What you spend seeking Allah’s Face will be
101
a reward for you, even when you feed your
wife.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
When you feed yourself, your children, or
your wife, you will have a reward for each.
[Reported by Ahmad]
The Reward of Maintaining one’s
Children
Ka’b ibn ‘Ajura said, Once a man passed by
the Prophet (pbuh). When the companions of
the Prophet (pbuh) noticed how patient and
active he was said, they said, If done in the
cause of Allah! The Prophet (pbuh) said, If he
(the man) works for maintaining his young
children, it is in the cause of Allah. If he works
for maintaining his old parents, it is in the
cause of Allah. But if he works for ostentation
and conceit, it is in the cause of Satan.
[Reported by Tabarani]
Divine Provender comes from Allah
according to ones responsibility. The more
ordeals one faces the more patient he will be.
[Reported by Al-Bazzar]
A Miser Husband
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Hind, Abu Sufyan’s wife said, “O Messenger
of Allah! Abu Sufyan is a stingy man. He does
not. Give me what suffices me and my
children except what I take without
permission. The Prophet (pbuh) said, Take
102
what suffices you and your children in a kind
manner.61
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Having Many Children
Qur’anic verses:
{And that which they leave behind, and of
all things have We taken account in a clear
Book (of evidence).}
[Yasin: 12]
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Marry a woman who is affectionate and
fertile, for I will boast over all nations
concerning your number.”
[Narrated by Abu Dawud]
“Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
When a man dies, his acts come to an end,
but three, recurring charity, or knowledge (by
which people) benefit, or a pious son, who
prays for him (for the deceased).
[Reported by Muslim]
Giving the Call to Prayer in the Ears of the
Newborn Baby
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Abu Rafi’ related, I saw the Prophet (pbuh)
calling to prayer in the ear of Al-Hassan ibn Ali
when Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her)

61 The above hadith indicates that it permissible to take what is necessary of the husband’s property.
103
gave birth to him”‘.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
Rubbing the Baby’s Mouth with a Date
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Abu Musa related’ ,When I bore a boy, I
brought him before the Prophet (pbuh) who
named him Ibrahim, rubbed his mouth with a
date, supplicated Allah for him and then gave
me him back”.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Sacrifice for A Newborn and
Circumcision62
Prophetic Hadiths:
An animal should be sacrificed when a baby
is born and the baby should be circumcised.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
The Prophet (pbuh) slaughtered an animal
as sacrifice when Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain
were born and he circumcised them in the
seventh day of their birth.
[Reported by Al-Baihaqi]

62 Circumcision is one of the protective procedures that protect one against many diseases. Cutting the
foreskin of the baby’s penis or the foreskin of the girl’s clitoris protects one from harmful secretion. It
enables the front part of the penis to move about freely. It protects one against cancer. Unintentional
urination does not affect the circumcised baby. Circumcised youth do not addict to masturbation.
Circumcised men have sex with their wives longer than the uncircumcised.
104
Name-Giving
Prophetic Hadiths:
The best names in the sight of Allah are
Abdullah and Abdur Rahman
[Reported by Muslim]
The Prophet (pbuh) said: If anyone is called
by my name, he must not be given my kunyah
(surname), and if anyone uses my kunyah
(surname), he must not be called by my name.
The Prophet As A Kind Father63
Prophetic Hadiths:
The Prophet (pbuh) used to protrude his
tongue to Al-Hasan, who in turn would notice
the redness of his tongue and hurry towards
him.
[Reported by Ibn Habban]
‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her)
said,
“Once, a nomad came to the Prophet (pbuh)
and said, “You kiss your children but we do
not. The Prophet (pbuh) said, “What should I
do with you if Allah stripped mercy from your
heart?
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with
him) also related,

63 Parents are created loving their children. They give them great concern, affection and care. Without such
an innate love, the parents might not keep patient to rear their children. Those who do not love their
children are surly odd people. Children need love and care to be brought up in a wholesome manner.
The Prophet (pbuh) set a great example in rearing his children. He treated them kindly and affectionately.
105
“Once the Prophet (pbuh) kissed al-Hassan
Ibn Ali before al-Aqra Ibn Habis at-Tamimi. AlAqra’ wondered, “I have ten children but I
have never kissed anyone of them. Then the
Prophet (pbuh) looked at him and said,
“Whoever does not have mercy on people,
Allah does not have mercy on him.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Changing Silly Names
Prophetic Hadiths:
The Prophet (pbuh) used to change silly
names.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
Ibn Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) related that he had a daughter calledAsiyah (sinner), then the
Prophet (pbuh) renamed her as Jamilah
(beautiful) .
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
Zaynab hint Abu Salamah was (previously)
called Burrah (a seed of wheat) and the
Prophet (pbuh) called her Zaynab.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
106
The Tribulation of Children64
Qur’anic verses:
{And know ye that your possessions and
your progeny are but a trial: and that it is Allah
with whom lies your highest reward.}
[Al-Anfal: 28]
{O ye who believe! Truly, among your wives
and your children are (some that are) enemies
to yourselves: so beware of them!}
[Al- Taghabun: 14]
{Say: If it be that your fathers, your sons,
your brothers, your mates, or your kindred:
the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce
in which ye tear a decline: or the dwellings in
which ye delight– are dearer to you than Allah
or His Messenger, or the striving in His cause;
then wait until Allah brings about His decision:
and Allah guides not the rebellious.}
[Al- Tawbah: 24]

64 This tribulation Occurs when one’s children or wife preoccupy his mind and take him from the way of
Allah. He might work day and night in order to give them what they want and forget the main goals for
which he was created.
107
Islam and Girls65
Qur’anic verses:
{When news is brought to one of them, of
(the birth of a female (child), his face darkens,
and he is filled with inward grief! With shame
does he hide himself from his people, because
of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain it
on (sufferance and) contempt, or bury it in the
dust. Ah! What an evil (choice) they decide
on?}
[Al-Nahl: 58-59]
{When the female (infant), buried alive, is
questioned for what crime she was killed}
[Al- Takwir: 8]
{Lost are those who slay their children,
from folly, without knowledge, and forbid food
which Allah has provided for them, forging
(lies) against Allah, they have indeed gone
astray and heeded no guidance.}
[Al-An’ am: 140]

65 A woman is man’s sister and half of humanity. She is a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, grand
daughter or grand mother. The Prophet said, what translated means, Women are, indeed, men’s partners.
[Abu Dawud]. She is a member of the great nation of Islam, the best nation ever produced for mankind. No
other nation on earth has more great men, leaders and conquerors than this nation. It is the nation of
guidance and the straight religion, and it leads humanity to righteousness and truth. It transforms people
from worshippers of slaves to worshippers of the Lord of slaves, from life’s pressures to the pleasures of the
Life after, and from the injustice of other religions to the justice of Islam.
A woman was also one of the main reasons for this great nation to take this great place among all nations.
Allah, Who granted Islam to this nation, made a high place for Muslim women, and decreed that they share
in the responsibilities of enjoining truth, forbidding evil and raising the flag of Islam. He said, what
translated means, The believers, men and women, are loyalists of one another, they enjoin righteousness
and forbid evil, they offer their prayers perfectly and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger.
Allah will leave His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. [9:71]
Allah has given Muslim women what they can bare of orders and duties. He is the God Wl10 knows
His creation, Should He not know what He created? And He is the Most Kind, All-Aware (of everything).
[67:14]
They call upon the woman today to truly become an active member of the Muslim nation, strive to establish
victory for Allah’s Word, implement the Quran and help build the generation of Iman.
108
The Reward of Taking Care of Girls
Prophetic Hadiths:
Whoever affords two girls until they reach
puberty, will be resurrected beside me like that
(and he joined his two fingers) on the Day of
Judgement.
[Reported by Muslim]
Whoever affords two girls until they reach
puberty, I and He will enter Paradise like that
(and he raised his two fingers: the index and
the finger next to it.
[Reported by Ibn Habban and Tirmidhi]
Whoever affords two girls or three, or two
daughters or three until he grows old or dies, I
and He will be in Paradise like that (and he
raised his two fingers: the index and the finger
next to it).
Women and Teaching
Qur’anic verses:
{Are those equal, those who know and
those who do not know? It is those who are
endured with understanding that receive
admonition.}
[Al-Zumar: 9]
{Proclaim! (or read) in the name of thy Lord
and Cherisher, Who created man, out of a
leech-like clot: Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most
Bountiful, He Who taught (the use of) the pen,
taught man that which he knew not.}
[Al-‘Alaq: 3]
109
Prophetic Hadiths:
Women are men’s partners.66
[Reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawud]
Ash-Shifa said, once the Prophet (pbuh)
entered his home while I was there with Hafsa.
He said,
“May you teach that (Hafsa) the protective
words concerning an-Namlah (a kind of sores
affect one’s forehead) as you taught her how
to write.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
Maintaining the Woman’s Health
Qur’anic verse:
{For those who can do it (with hardship), is a
ransom, the feeding of one that is indigent.}
[Al-Baqarah: 184]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Allah has exempted the traveler from
fasting and a half of prayer. The pregnant and
that who suckles her baby are not required to
fast too.

66 The above Hadith indicates that men and women are equal. Islam affirms the equality of men and
women as human beings. This, however, does not entail non-differentiation of their respective roles and
functions in society. Islam disapproves of the tree mixing of the sexes and regards this as conflicting with
the role it assigns to the family in society. The primary responsibility of woman is to concentrate on the
home and the family, and all that is required to operate and develop these institutions. She also has certain
social responsibilities, rights and duties, but her primary concern is the family.
110
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
If the pregnant and that who suckles her
baby break her fast, they should give a
ransom. They are not required to make up
what they missed.
[Reported by Ibn Umar]
Educational Principles
Bringing up one’s Children
Qur’anic verses:
{And that which they leave behind, and of
all things have We taken account in a clear
Book (of evidence}
[Yasin: 12]
{O ye who believe! Save yourselves and
your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and
stones, over which are (appointed) angels
stern and sever, who flinch not (from
executing) the Commands they receive from
Allah, but do (precisely) what they are
commanded.}
[Al-Tahrim: 6]
{And those who pray, “Our Lord! Grant unto
us wives and offspring who will be the comfort
of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the
righteous.}
[Al-Furqan: 74]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“When a man dies, his acts come to an end,
but three, recurring charity, or knowledge (by
which people) benefit, or a pious son, who
prays for him (for the deceased).”
111
[Reported by Muslim]
“All of you are guardians and responsible for
your wards and the things under your care.
The Imam (i.e. ruler) is the guardian of his
subjects and is responsible for them and a man
is the guardian of his family and is responsible
for them. A woman is the guardian of her
husband’s house and is responsible for it. A
servant is the guardian of his master’s
belongings and is responsible for them.’ I
thought that he also said, ‘A man is the
guardian of his father’s property and is
responsible for it. All of you are guardians and
responsible for your wards and the things
under your care.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
When Should a Child Be Ordered to
Perform the Prayer
Prophetic Hadiths:
“When a boy reaches the age of seven
years, teach him the prayers (salat), and
punish him, when he commits a fault (in his
prayer)”
[Reported by Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud]
“When your children attain the age of seven
years, ask them to perform the prayer and
chastise them in respect of any fault in this
behalf, when they are ten years old, let them
sleep in separate beds”
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
112
Lying to One’s Children
Prophetic Hadiths:
Abdullah ibn Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "One day my mother called upon me while the Prophet (pbuh) sitting in our home. She said to me, "Come and I will give you." The Prophet (pbuh) said, "What are you going to give him?" She said, " A date. " The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Would not you give him, a lie will be recorded against you." [Reported by Abu Dawud] Equality Among Children Qur'anic verses: {Verily in Joseph and his brethren are signs for seekers (after Truth). They said: "Truly Joseph and his brother are loved more by our father than we: But we are goodly body! Really our father is obviously in error! "Slay ye Joseph or cast him out to some (w1known) land, that so the favour of your father may be given to you alone: (there will be time enough) for you to be righteous after that!} [Yusuf: 8-9] Prophetic Hadiths: Amir related,
“I heard An-Nu’man bin Bashir on the pulpit
saying, “My father gave me a gift but Amra bint Rawaha (my mother) said that she would not agree to it unless he made Allah's Apostle as a witness to it. So, my father went to Allah's 113 Apostle and said, 'I have given a gift to my son fromAnna bint Rawaha, but she ordered me
to make you as a witness to it, O Allah’s
Apostle!’ Allah’s Apostle asked, ‘Have you
given (the like of it) to everyone of your sons?’
He replied in the negative. Allah’s Apostle said,
‘Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your
children.’ My father then returned and took
back his gift.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Kind Treatment to One’s Children
Prophetic Hadiths:
“The Compassionate One has mercy on
those who are merciful. If you show mercy to
those who are on the earth, He Who is in the
heaven will show mercy to you.”
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
Anas (may Allah have mercy on him) related, "I have never seen anyone surpassing the Prophet (pbuh) in treating children kindly." [Reported by Muslim] "Of the commandments he (pbuh) used to give to the military leaders: "Conquer in the name of Allah. Do not kill an infant" [Reported by Muslim] Usama Ibn Zayd Ibn Haritha (may Allah be
pleased with him) related that the Prophet
(pbuh) would hold me and let me sit on one of
his knees and al-Hassan on the other. Then he
hugged us and said,
“O Allah may You have mercy on them both
114
because I have mercy on them”.
[Reported by AI-Bukhari]
Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him)
related,
“Once I flogged a boy. Thereupon, I heard a
voice from my back. When I turned back I
heard the Prophet (pbuh) saying, “O Abu
Mas’ud! Know that Allah is more able to punish
you than are you with this boy”.
[Reported by Muslim]
“Once the Prophet (pbuh) kissed al-Hassan
Ibn Ali before al-Aqra Ibn Habis at-Tamimi. AlAqra’ wondered, “I have ten children but I
have never kissed anyone of them”. Then the
Prophet (pbuh) looked at him and said,
“Whoever does not have mercy on people,
Allah does not have mercy on him”.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
The Reward Granted to the Parents Who
Have a Dead Child
Prophetic Hadiths:
Abu Sa’ id al-Khudri related,
“The women asked the Prophet, “Please fix
a day for us.” So the Prophet preached to them
and said, “A woman whose three children died
would be screened from the Hell Fire by them,”
Hearing that, a woman asked, “If two died?”
The Prophet replied, “Even two (would screen
her from the (Hell) Fire.” And Abu Huraira
added, “Those children should be below the
age of puberty.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Al-Nasa’i]
115
The Prophet said, “No Muslim whose three
children died will go to the Fire except for
Allah’s oath (i.e. everyone has to pass over the
bridge above the lake of fire).”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
“A Muslim whose three children die before
the age of puberty will be granted Paradise by
Allah due to his mercy for them.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Intercession of Children for their
Parents
Prophetic Hadiths:
Abu Hassan related, “I have two dead
sons. I said to Abu Hurairah, “I heard a Hadith
from the Prophet (pbuh) that relieves what we
get of sorrow upon the dead. He said, “Yes of
Course.” Children who die young when meeting
their parents (on the Day of Judgement) will
take hold of their garments or hands until they
enter Paradise altogether.
[Reported by Muslim]
A Wife Should Relieve the Misfortune of
Her Husband
Prophetic Hadiths:
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) related,Abu Talha had a son who fell ill and
died while Abu Talha was outdoors. Abu Talha
116
did not know about the death of his son. Umm
Talha covered the child and laid him aside in
the house.
When Abu Talha went home, he asked her
about the child and she said, “He is very
quite.” Then she brought him dinner and slept
with him.” In the morning, Abu Talha had a
bath and got ready to leave. Then, Umm Talha
told him that his son had died.
He went out to perform prayer with the
Prophet (pbuh). Having performed the prayer,
he told him what had happened. The Prophet
(pbuh) said, “May Allah bless your last night.”
In that night she got pregnant. When she gave
birth, she sent the child to the Prophet (pbuh)
who chewed a date and then rubbed the child’s
mouth. The Prophet (pbuh) called him
“Abdullah.”
[Reported by Bukhari]
It was narrated that of the progeny of that child there were seven
boys who finished memorizing the Glorious Qur’an
Obedience to One’s Parents
Qur’anic verses:
{Thy Lord has decreed that ye worship none
but Him, and that ye be kind to parents.
Whether one or both of them attain old age in
thy life, say not to them a word of contempt,
nor repel them but address them in terms of
honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the
wing of humility, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on
them mercy even as they cherished me in
117
childhood.67}
[Al-Isra’: 23-24]
{And remember We took a covenant from
the children of Israel (to this effect): Worship
none but Allah; Treat with kindness your
parents and kindred, and orphans and those in
need; speak fair to the people; be steadfast in
prayer; and give Zakat, then did turn back,
except a few among you, and ye backslider
(even now).}
[Al-Baqarah: 83]
{And We have enjoined on man (to be
good) to his parents: In travail upon travail did
his mother bear him. And in years twain was
his weaning: (hear the command), “Show
gratitude to Me and to thy parents: To Me is
thy final goal.}
[Luqman: 14]
{We have enjoined on man kindness to his
parents: In pain did his mother bear him and
in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of
the (child) to his weaning is a period of thirty
months.}
[Al-Ahqaf: 15]
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Shall I not tell you of the worst major sins?
Worshipping others with Allah and showing
disrespect to parents”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]

67 Parents give so much to rear their children. They do not wait to be recompensed by their children. They,
naturally, do this out of love and affection. Therefore, we should be grateful to them. The fortunate is the
one who pleases his parents. Let us now read a message written by a girl to her mother after she gave birth
to her first child.
“Mother! I love you. I love you. I love you. I have never sensed that kind of love before. Everything that
surrounds me fills my heart by love. I love you all the time. But I have just realized what love is. While a
child, I was perplexed when seeing you worried about me and my brothers and sisters. You gave so much
that you preferred us to yourself’.
When I heard the first cry of my baby, I knew how much you suffered and how much you loved me”.
118
“Someone came to the Prophet (pbuh) and
asked, “Who deserves my service most (after
Allah)? The Prophet (pbuh) replied, “Your
mother.” “Who is next’?” the man asked again.
“Your mother,” the Prophet (pbuh) replied.
“Who is next?” the man asked once more.
“Your mother,” the Prophet (pbuh) replied.
“Who is next?” the man further asked. “Your
father,” the Prophet (pbuh) replied.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Allah’s Apostle (pbuh) said:
“Let him be humbled into dust; let him be
humbled into dust. It was said: Allah’s
Messenger, who is he? He said: He who sees
either of his parents during their old age or he
sees both of them, but he does not enter
Paradise.”
[Reported by Muslim]
A man came and said to the Prophet
(pbuh),
“O Messenger of Allah, my father asks for
my property.” Then the Prophet (pbuh) said,
“Both you and what you possess are your
father’s.”
[Reported by Ahmad]
“Allah has forbidden showing disrespect to
one’s mother”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
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The Tribulation of Women
Cherchez la femme
Prophetic Hadiths:
The prophet (pbuh) said,
“After me, I did not leave a harmful
temptation on men then woman.”68

[Reported by Bukhari and Muslim]
“This world is deceptive and Allah made you
His vicegerents on it to see what you are going
to do. Be ware of this world. Beware of
women. The first slipping test hold for the
Israelites was women. “
[Reported by Muslim]
“Unless Hawwa’ had tempted Adam there
would not be any wife tempting her
husband.”69

68 Some people said, “Satan addresses a woman saying, “You are the half of my troops. You are my arrows
with which I fight skillfully.”
Some one also said “A woman is the source of bad or happy life.” Accordingly, the Prophet (pbuh)
commended us to choose the righteous woman when marrying.
69 Some people claim that the woman is the real reason why mankind does not dwell in Paradise because
she asked Adam to eat from the Tree. They believe if it were not for this sin, we would have continued to
live there. This is undoubtedly a naive view. When Allah the almighty willed the creation of Adam He told
the angels: {I will create a vicegerent on earth.} (Al-Baqara: 30)
He did not say, “I will create a vicegerent in Paradise.” Allah the Almighty knew that Adam and Hawwa’
would eat from the Tree and descend on earth.
In her astonishing book “New Messages to Men”, a French writer called Francois Portrait said, “Men
believe that a woman is the spring from which every bad thing flows. They accuse her of every bad thing.
However man is solely responsible for the misfortunes and the corruption of the society. Under the motto
of freedom, the man began to seek after unrestricted lusts. This is a market where women are only used as
materials. It is only men who encourage such lusts. They produce sex pictures and films. They exploit the
woman’s body to promote their commodities even if it is a kind of fruits or cigarettes.
I think that those women who work in such fields are the agents of men. But they are not as responsible as
men are because they are enforced to work in these fields out of want, temptation or misguidance.
Therefore, man is the source of all bad-doings.
I would better change the proverb that states “cherchez la femme” to “cherchez l’ homme”
120
Ibn Abbas said,
“Because of woman there were atheists in
the past and there will be atheists in the years
to come.”
The seriousness of sex70
Qur’anic verses:
{Fair in the eyes of men is the love of
things they covet: women71 and sons, heapedup hoards of gold and silver, horses branded
(for the blood and excellence); and (wealth of)
cattle and well- tilled land. Such are the
possessions of this world’s life, but with Allah is
the best of the goals (to return to}
[Al-‘Imran: 14]
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Most of people enter Paradise because of
God-fearing and good manners. On the other
hand they mouth and genitals.”
[Reported by at- Tirmidhi]
“Whoever keeps what is between his jaws
or legs will enter Paradise.”
[Reported by at- Tirmidhi]

I, the author, think that the woman is not completely free from such corruption. There is an Arabic proverb
that states, “It is better for a woman to suffer starvation than to be adulterer.”
70 Islam laid down great importance on the question of sex. The first crime committed on earth traced to
sex. The two sons of Adam had to marry their opposite female twins Cain was puffed up with arrogance
and jealousy and wanted to marry his female twin because she was more beautiful than the other. He then
killed his brother to marry his beautiful twin
71 Allah the almighty counts woman as the first of desires. The secret behind this is that she is the dearest
thing to men. Some woman addressed men by saying, “You are all heroes unless we seduce you.”
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Non-Segregation of Sexes and Staying
in Seclusion with Woman
Prophetic Hadiths:
“No man should spend a night with a
woman except the husband or an
unmarriageable kin.”
[Reported by Muslim]
“Satan is the third of the man and the
woman who stay alone.”72
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
“No man should stay with a lady in
seclusion except in the presence of an
unmarriageable kin”
[Reported by Bukhari and Muslim]
O Wife Be Ware!
Prophetic Hadiths:
“A woman should not look at or touch
another woman to describe her73 to her
husband in such a way as he was actually
looking at her.”
[Reported by Bukhari, Abu Dawud and
Tirmidhi]

72 In his book “The woman and Hijab “Mohammed Tal’at Harb said, “There is still one step to demolish the
Islamic society: to fashion the Muslim woman like the western one.” Some people think that mixture
between man and woman helps them desist sex. This is undoubtedly a naive point of view .How about the
wife- husband relationship. Do they not think of sex at all although they live together?
73 Imam Ibn Qayyim said, “the Motivations of love are four, first of which is one’s gaze either by eye or by
heart. Many people may love someone without seeing him. They may just hear the description of whom
they love.
122
The safety belt of a woman
“It is not lawful for a woman who believes in
Allah and the last Day to travel more than a
full- day distance except with her
unmarriageable kin.”
[Reported by Bukhari and Muslim]
A gaze Is one of Satan’s Arrows
Qur’anic Verses:
{Say to the believing men that they should
lower their gaze and guard their modesty:74
that will make for greater purity for them: and
Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
And say to the believing women that they
should lower their gaze and guard their
modesty; that they should not display their
beauty and ornaments except what (ordinarily)
appears thereof; that they should draw their
veils over their bosoms and not display their
beauty except to their husbands, their fathers,
their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their
husbands’ sons, their brothers or their
brothers’ sons, or their women, or the slaves
whom their right hands possess or male
attendants free of sexual desires. Or small
children who have no carnal knowledge of
women, and that they should not strike their
feet in order to draw attention to their hidden

74 In his book ” Rawdat of Muhibbin”, lbn Qayyim summed up some benefits of lowering one’s gaze
(1) Freeing one’s heart from painful remorse. When one looks at an unattainable thing, he may have nothing
but to blame himself
(2) Bringing joy and delight to one’s heart that may exceed that delight caused by a gaze. Some one said,
“By Allah the pleasure attained by chastity is greater than that which is attained by committing a sin.”
(3) Strengthening one’s heart.
(4) Enlightening one’s heart, face and all other organs of the body.
(5) Freeing one’s heart from lust and desire.
(6) Blocking one of the gates of the Hell-fire.
(7) Strengthening one’s mind
123
ornaments. And O ye believers! Turn ye all
together towards Allah in repentance that ye
may be successful}
[An-Nur: 30-31]
Prophetic Hadiths:
“All children of Adam are liable to commit
adultery (zina) in some way. The adultery of
tongues is (unlawful) speaking; the adultery of
hands is violence; the adultery of legs is
walking toward Allah’s prohibitions. Man’s soul
innately desires adultery but the genitals are
the tools which apply or refrain.”
[Reported by Abu Dawud and Al-Nasa’i]
“Jarir ibn ‘Abdullah (may Allah be pleased
with him) related, “I had once asked the
prophet (pbuh) about the sudden glance.
Whereupon the prophet (pbuh) commanded
me to keep away my gaze.”75

75 Successive glances to women are harmful to one’s health, since they arouse the sexual desire and
decrease it. In his book “Our Sexual Life”, Dr. Fredrick Cohen said, “A man’s penis is like an electrical
machine (an electrical bell for example). His scrotum is like the electrical engine. This scrotum provides
the man’s body with an adequate sexual electrical current. The Hormonal excretion, which the scrotum
excretes, affects the cortex of the brain which in turn stimulates the center of sexual want in the brain. Just
as one’s penis does not erect without stimuli, an electrical bell does not ring without pressing its switch. A
beautiful woman may arouse one’s sexual desire. This is the switch that let the sexual electrical current
move towards one’s brain. Therefore, successive glances to a woman disperse one’s sexual ability. It is like
an incomplete sexual intercourse. This is the reason behind the weakness of our youths and why they desist
marriage.
Islam requires its male and female adherents to avoid illicit sexual relations at all costs. Because the desire
to have sexual relationships originates with the look that one person gives another, Islam prohibits a person
from casting amorous glances towards another. This is the principle of lowering the eyes. Since it is
impossible for people to have their eyes fixed constantly to the ground and inconceivable that a man will
never see a woman or a woman will never see a man, Islam absolves from blame the first chance look, but
prohibits one from casting a second look or continuing to stare at a face which one finds attractive at first
sight. The following traditions of the Prophet (pbuh) offer us guidance in this regard: Jarir says,
“I asked the Prophet what I should do if I happened to cast a look (at a woman) by chance. The Prophet
replied, ‘Turn your eyes away.’ “According to Buraidah, the Prophet told the future fourth caliph, ‘Ali, not
to cast a second look, for the first look was pardonable but the second was prohibited.
However, there are certain circumstances in which it is permissible for a man to look at another woman.
Such circumstances may arise when a woman is obliged to be treated by a male doctor, or has to appear
before a judge as a witness, or when a woman is trapped inside a burning house, or is drowning, or when a
woman’s life or honour is in danger. In such cases, even the prohibited parts of the body of the woman may
be seen or touched, and it is not only lawful but obligatory on a man to rescue her from danger, whatever
physical contact it may entail. What is required by Islam in such a situation is that as far as possible the
man should keep his intentions pure. But if in spite of that his emotions are a little excited naturally, it is
124

not blameworthy for him to have looked at such a woman, since having contact with her body was not
intentional but was necessitated by circumstances, and it is not possible for a man to suppress his natural
urges completely.
The Shari’ ah also allows a man to look at a woman with the object of reaching a decision about whether he
should marry her or not. The following traditions explain the matter further: Mughirah ibn Shubah says, "I sent a message to a woman asking for her hand. The Prophet (pbuh) said to me,' Have a look at her for that will enhance love and mutual regard between you." Abu Hurairah says that he was sitting with the Prophet when a man came and said that he intended to marry a woman from among the Ansar (Helpers). The Prophet asked him if he had seen her. He replied in the negative. The Prophet told him to go and have a look at her because the Ansar often had a defect in their eyes. According to Jabir ibnAbdullah, the Prophet
said that when a man sent a request to a woman for her hand in marriage, he should have a look at her to
see if there was anything in her which made him inclined to marry her.
It is thus clear that no man is prohibited from having a look at a woman as such, but that the real idea
behind the prohibition is to prevent the evil of illicit intercourse. Therefore what the Prophet has prohibited
is only such casting of the eyes as is not essential, as does not serve any social purpose, and as is loaded
with sexual motives. This command applies to both Muslim men and Muslim women and is not confined to
only one sex.
Maulana Abu’ A’ la Maududi has made a fine psychological distinction, however, between women looking
at men and men looking at women. The man, he says,
“…is by nature aggressive. If a thing appeals to him, he is urged from within to acquire it. On the other
hand, the woman’s nature is one of inhibition and escape. Unless her nature is totally corrupted, she can
never become so aggressive, bold, and fearless, as to make the first advances towards the male who has
attracted her. In view of this distinction, the Legislator (the Prophet) does not regard a woman’s looking at
other men to be as harmful as a man’s looking at other women. In several traditions it has been reported that
the Prophet (peace be upon him) let ‘A’isha see a performance given by Negroes on the occasion of the I Id.
This shows that there is no absolute prohibition on women looking at other men. What is prohibited is for
women to sit in the same gathering together with men and stare at them, or look at them in a manner, which
may lead to evil results.”
The Prophet (pbuh) told Fatimah, daughter of Qais, to pass her ‘iddah (waiting term), in the house of Ibn
Maktum, the same blind Companion from whom Umm Salamah had been instructed to observe Burdah.
Qadi Abu Bakr ibn al-‘Arabi has related in his Ahkmn al Qur’an that Fatimah, daughter of Qais, wanted to
pass her waiting term in the house of Umm Sharik. The Prophet did not approve of this for the reason that
the house was visited by many people. Therefore he told her to stay in the house of Ibn Maktum who was
blind, where she could stay without observing Burdah. This shows that the real object of the Prophet was to
reduce the chances of any mischief occurring. That is why the lady was not allowed to stay in a house
where the chances of possible mischief were greater but allowed to stay in a house where they were less.
On the other hand, where there was no such need, women were prohibited from sitting in the same place
face to face with other men.
The real object of lowering the eyes is to stop people with evil intentions from casting lewd looks at others.
It is common knowledge that a person turns their eyes towards another person innocently in the beginning.
If the latter is attractive, the former may go on casting glances and thus drift towards the precipice of sexual
attraction and ultimately fornication or adultery. Islam encourages regulated love in order to build up happy
family lives since it is healthy families that provide the blocks to construct a healthy society; but it abhors
promiscuity which ruins people I’s family lives and seriously damages people through the ultimate disaster
of illicit sexual relationships developing between its adherents. Islam blocks the path that finally leads to
active temptation by prohibiting the casting of looks by one person at another except when they do so by
chance.
125
[Reported by Muslim]
The Clear Truth
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Whoever sees a woman and admires her
may rather go to his wife to make love with
her to satisfy himself.”
[Reported by Muslim]
A Wife Should Satisfy Her Husband as
Quick as Possible
Prophetic Hadiths:
“There are three people whose prayers will
not be accepted nor will it be risen up to
heavens: (and he mentioned the woman
whose husband calls her at night and she
refuses to come.)”
[Reported by Ibn khuzaima]
“When a man calls his wife to his bad and
she does not come, if he spends the night
angry with her, the angels curse her until
morning.”
[Reported by Muslim, Abu Dawud and
Nasa’i]
“When a man calls his wife to his bed, she
should go to him even if she may be over a
back of a camel.”
[Reported by al- Bazzar]
“When a man sends for his wife for the
satisfaction of his need, she should go to him
126
even if she may be occupied in baking bread
(cooking food).”
[Reported by An-Nasa’i and Trimidhi]
“By whom in Whose Hard is my soul, when
a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses
to come, He who is in heaven (i.e. Allah)
remains displeased with her.”76

[Reported by Bukhari and Muslim]

76 A wife should not claim that she has no time to spend with her husband. She would rather leave her
interests aside to spend a good time with her husband. This is the best time to join together to form one
entity and fin the remotest parts of the world with the beams of their love
127
Family and Dangers
The Husband’s Relatives and Friends
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Beware of entering upon ladies”, A man
asked, “Allah’s Messenger! What about alHamul the in-laws of the wife (the brothers of
her husband or his nephew etc.)? The Prophet
(pbuh) replied: The in-laws of the wife are
death itself.77

[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Beware of the Display of Woman’s Body
Qur’anic verses:
{O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters,
and the believing women, that they should cast
their outer garments over their persons 78
(when out of doors): that is most convenient,
that they should be known (as such) and not
molested and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful.}
[Al-Ahzab: 59]
{O ye children of Adam! let not Satan

77 It is mainly the brothers of the husband or the in –laws of the wife who are meant here are only those
who could have married that woman if she had not been married. 2The stay of a relative of a woman by
marriage in seclusion with her may cause great disadvantage and lead to illegal sexual intercourse that
would ruin the family. Therefore the prophet (pbuh) compared the brother in-law of a wife to death if he
stays in seclusion with her. The husband’s friends are also included in the above warning.
78 The object was not to restrict the liberty of women, but to protect them from harm and molestation.
Young men are easy to be seduced when seeing a woman showing her body. They cannot control their
desires and they, in turn, may kidnap her or rape her.
128
seduce you, in the same manner as he got
your parents out of the Garden, stripping them
of their raiment, to expose their shame}
[Al- A’raf: 27]
{And say to the believing women that they
should lower their gaze and guard their
modesty; that they should not display their
beauty and ornaments except what (ordinarily)
appear thereof; that they should draw their
veils over their bosoms and not display their
beauty except to their husbands, their fathers,
their husbands fathers, their sons, their
husbands sons, their brothers or their brothers
sons, or their sisters sons or their women, or
the slaves whom their right hands possess, or
male attendants free of sexual desires, or
small children who have no carnal knowledge
of women; and that they should not strike their
feet in order to draw attention to their hidden
ornaments. And O ye Believers! Turn ye all
together towards Allah in repentance that ye
may be prosperous}
[Al-Nur: 31]
{O consorts of the Prophet: Ye are not like
any of the (other) women: If ye do fear
(Allah), be not too complaisant of speech, lest
one in whose heart is a disease should be
moved with desire: but speak ye a speech
(that is) just. And stay quietly in your houses,
and make not a dazzling display, like that of
the former times of Ignorance; and establish
regular prayer, and give zakat and obey Allah
and His Messenger. And Allah only wishes to
remove all abomination from you, ye Members
of the Family, and to make you pure and
spotless.}
[Al-Ahzab: 32- 33]
Prophetic Hadiths:
“Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her)
129
related, Once, Asma, the daughter of Abu Bakr
came on the prophet (pbuh) wearing thin
clothes. Whereupon the prophet (pbuh) said to
her: O Asma! When a woman comes of age,
nothing save this and this pointing at his face
and hands -should be seen of her.
“Whoever drags the hem of his garment out
of conceit, Allah will not look at him on the Day
of Judgment. Umm Salama asked, “What do
women do with their hems? The prophet
(pbuh) said, “Let them leave an inch down.
She said, Their legs will be exposed! He said,
Let it be an arm length down and nothing
more.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
Abu Hurayrah reported Allah’s Messenger
(pbuh) as saying, “Two are the types of the
denizens of Hell whom I did not see: People
having flogs like the trails of the ox with them,
and they would be beating people; and the
women who would be dressed but appear to be
naked, who would be inclined to evil and make
their husbands incline towards it. Their heads
would be like the humps of the bukht 79 camel
inclined to one side. They will not enter
Paradise and they would not smell its odour
whereas its odour would be smelt from such
and such distance.
[Reported by Muslim]

79 Their heads would look like the humps of the bukht camel means that they comb their hair in tile form of
a Camels hump
130
Women Imitating Men and Vice Versa
Qur’anic verses:
(And in no wise covet those things in which
Allah has bestowed His gifts more freely on
some of you than on others: to men is allotted
what they earn, and to women what they earn:
but ask Allah of His bounty, for Allah has full
knowledge of all things.}
[An- Nisa: 32]
Prophetic Hadiths:
The messenger of Allah (pbuh) curses the
effeminate men and the masculine women.
[Reported by Bukhari]
He is not of women imitate men and men
who imitate women.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
On the authority of Abu Huraira (may Allah
be pleased with him) who said that the
Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,
Allah curses a woman who wears a men’s
clothing and a man who wears a woman’s
dress.
[Reported by Abu Dawud and An-Nisa’i]
“There are three people who will not enter
Paradise nor will Allah look at them on the Day
of Judgement: The one who shows disrespect
to his parent, the masculine woman and the
pimp.
[Reported by Al-Hakim]
Let effeminate men not enter upon you (any
more).
[Reported by al-Bukhari]
131
Negative showing off
Qur’anic verses:
{And that they should not strike their feet
in order to draw attention to their hidden
ornaments.80 And O ye believers! Turn ye all
together towards Allah in repentance that ye
may be prosperous.}
[An-Nur .31]
Prophetic Hadiths:
If a woman gets outdoors perfumed81 and
passed by some people who smelt her
perfume, she is considered an adulteress, and
every eye (which look at her) is adulteress.
[Reported by al- Hakim and Al –Nasa’i]
The Prohibition of Imitating the
Unbelievers
Qur’anic verses:
{So stand Ye straight, and follow not the
path of those who know not.}
[Yunus: 89]
{If anyone contends with the Messenger
even after guidance has been plainly conveyed
to him, and follows a path other than that

80 Imam Ibn Kathir said, in the pre-Islamic time (Jahiliyya) a woman used to tinkle her ankle ornament to
draw attention to themselves therefore, Allah the Almighty forbade such an act.
81 Ornament and perfume are lawful for a woman to do. This is an innate trait of a woman: to be fond of
beauty and ornament. Islam does not suppress that trait but rather organize it. The only who could show the
woman’s beauty is her husband. Unmarriageable kin may also show some of these ornaments.
132
becoming to men to faith, we shall leave him in
the path he has chosen, and land him in Hell,
what an evil refuge!}
[An-Nisa’: 115]
{And follow not their vain desires, but
beware of them lest they beguile these from
any of that (teaching) which Allah has sent
down to these.}
[Al-Ma’idah: 49]
{Never will the Jews or the Christians be
satisfied with these unless than follow their
form of religion say: the guidance of Allah that
is the (only) guidance. Were than to follow
their desires after the knowledge which has
reached these, then wouldst than find neither
protector nor helper against Allah.}
[Al-Baqarah: 120]
{O ye of faith; say not (to the Prophet)
ra’ina, but say, (inzurna -and hearken (to
him): to those without faith is a grievous
punishment.}
[Al-Baqarah: 104]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Whoever imitates any people is of them.
Abu Waqid al-laithi (may Allah be pleased
with him) said, “Once, we went out with the
Prophet (pbuh) before the expedition of
Khaybar. We have just embraced Islam by
then. When we saw the atheists gathering
around a tree and hanging their weapons on it,
we asked the Messenger of Allah to hold for us
a tree like that. Thereupon, the Messenger of
Allah (pbuh) said, “Allah Akbar (Allah is the
greater); this was the statement of the
Israelites when they asked, “May you hold a
god for us like theirs. You would imitate those
who were before you.”
133
You would follow the traditions of your
predecessors inch by inch and arm by arm
even if they entered a hole of a lizard82

82 Imitation of foreigners deconstructs one’s personality. It is a sign of one’s weakness. It is the weak who
imitates the strong. Imitating the unbelievers in their clothes may lead to imitating them in their ideology
and belief.
The dress should not be similar to what is known as the custom of unbelievers. This requirement is derived
from the general rule of Shari’ ah that Muslims should have their distinct personality and should
differentiate their practices and appearance from that of the unbelievers. Therefore, a Muslim woman
should have the following requirements in her dress:
(1)Extent of covering: the dress must cover the whole body except for the areas specifically exempted: face
and hands.
(2)Overall appearance: the dress should not be such that it attracts men’s attention to the woman’s beauty.
The Qur’an clearly prescribes the requirements of the woman’s dress for the purpose of concealing
adornment. How such adornment could be concealed if the dress is designed in a way that it attracts men’s
eyes to the woman.
(3) Thickness: the dress should be thick enough so as not to show the color of the skin it covers, or the
shape of the body which it is supposed to hide. The Prophet (pbuh) said, “In latter (generations) of my
Ummah there will be dressed but naked.
(4) Looseness: the dress must be loose enough so as not describe the shape of a woman’s body. Prophet
Muhammad (pbuh) once received a thick garment as a gift. He gave it to Usama Ibn Zayd, who in turn
gave it to his wife. When asked by the Prophet why he didn’t wear it, Usama indicated that he gave it to his
wife. The Prophet (pbuh) then said to Usama , “ask her to use a ghulalah under it (the garment) for I fear
that it (the garment) may describe the size of her bones.”
(5) It should not be perfumed.
(6) It should not be similar to what is known as a male costume. “The Prophet (pbuh) cursed the men who
act like women and the women who act like men”.
(7)It should not be similar to what is known as the customs of unbelievers.
(8) It should not be a dress of fame, pride and vanity. The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever wears a
dress of fame in this world, Allah will clothe him a dress of humiliation on the Day of Resurrection, then
set it a fire.
134
Chaste People Are under Allah’s
Shade
The Reward of Chastity
Qur’anic verses:
{But she in whose house he was, sought to
seduce him and she fastened the doors, and
said: “Now come, he said: “Allah forbid!83 Truly
(your husband) is my lord! He made my
sojourn agreeable! Truly to no good come
those who do wrong.}
[Yusuf: 23]
Do Not Approach Adultery
Qur’anic verses:
{Nor come night to adultery: for it is an
indecent (deed) and an evil way.}
[Al-Isra’:32]
{And the servants of (Allah) most gracious

83 Many stories have been recounted about some young men who suppressed their desires and whims for
the sake of Allah. For example, one day Umar Ibn Al -Khattab, a Muslim caliphate, heard while walking at
night a woman voice praising the beauty of a young man called Nasr Ibn Hajjaj. The young man was not
with her and he does not know her. She composed and sang the following poetic lines:
Would I drink wine
Or meet Nasr Ibn Hajjaj
Who has a good family line
And he is lovely and generous
Umar, when hearing that, said, “By Allah I do not want to have a man about whom women say such words
at his absence. In the morning he sent for him. Having seen him he noticed that he is very handsome. Umar
commanded him to leave the town so as not to allure women unintentionally. Thus, Umar banished him to
Syria.
135
are those who walk in the earth in humidity,
and when the ignorant address them, they
say, “peace! Those who spend the night in
adoration of their lord prostrate and standing;
those who say, “Our Lord! avert from us the
Wrath of Hell, for its Wrath is indeed an
affliction grievous, “Evil indeed is it as an
abode, and as a place to rest in”; those who,
when they spend, are not extravagant and not
niggardly, but hold a just (balance) between
those (extremes); those who invoke not, with
Allah, any other god, nor commit fornication; –
and any that does this (not only) meets
punishment (but) the chastisement on the day
of judgement will be doubled to him, and he
will dwell therein in ignominy.}
[Al-Furqan: 63-69]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him)
related that he asked the Prophet (pbuh),
What is the most heinous sin in the sight of
Allah?” The Prophet (pbuh) replied, “To hold
that Allah has an equal whereas he has created
you”. I asked, “What else? The Prophet, (pbuh)
said, To kill your child lest he feeds with you.
The man asked, “What else? He said, “To
commit adultery with your neighbor’s wife.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
A Muslim’s blood is only lawful in three
cases: an adulterer, a murderer or an
apostate.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
There are three people to whom Allah, the
most high will not talk, nor will he absolve
them of sins nor look at them: an aged person
guilty of adultery, a king who lies and a poor
beggar who is proud.
[Reported by Muslim]
136
“Once a young man came to the Prophet
(pbuh) asking permission for committing
fornication. The people, then, started to rebuke
him and said, “shush, shush.” Then he asked
him, “Do you like it for your mother?” “No may
Allah make me a sacrifice for you”, the man
replied. “So are people.” the Prophet asked
again, “Do you like it for your daughter?” No
may Allah make me a sacrifice for you,” the
man replied. “So are people.” The Prophet
(pbuh) commented. The Prophet asked once
more, “Do you like it for your sister’?” the man
replied “No may Allah make me a sacrifice for
you.” The Prophet (pbuh) commented. “So are
people.” The Prophet (pbuh) eventually asked,
“Do you like it for your aunt?” The man
replied” No may Allah make me a sacrifice for
you.” The Prophet (pbuh) commented, so are
people.” Whereupon the Prophet (pbuh) placed
his hand upon him and said, “O Allah! May you
forgive his sins, purify his heart and make him
chaste. The young man did not pay attention
to any thing else thereafter.
[Reported by Al-Hakim]
“An adulterer84 is not a believer at the time
of committing adultery, thief is not a believer
at the time of committing theft and a drunkard
is also not a believer at the time of drinking as

84 When Ja’far Ibn Muhammad was asked about the Hadith, he drew two circles on earth and said, “These
are the circles of faith and Islam. When one commits adultery, he leaves the circle of faith and moves to
that of Islam.
In addition to the punishment awaiting for those who commit adultery, there are also many kinds of
repercussions of adulterer health in this world, that may lead to one’s non-fertility and impotence. In his
book, “Sexual Knowledge,” Dr. Adams said, “During my work, I met many sexy old people whose sexual
ability is as strong as young men. I asked them about the reason behind such abnormal vitality. they said,
“this is because of the following factors:
(1) They did not addict to masturbation while young men.
(2) They did not approach abomination while men
(3) When they married, they did not exaggerate in the sexual relations with their wives nor did they
abandon them.
(4) They did not smoke, drink alcohol or drugs.
(5) They did not use any sexual stimulators.
137
long as they have the opportunity to repent.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhari]
Sexual Relation in Paradise
Prophetic Hadiths:
The believer will have a tent of a vacuum
pearl, the length of which is thirty miles. He
will also have wives with whom he has sexual
intercourse, yet they never meet one another.
[Reported by Bukhari]
“In paradise, the believer will be provided
with sexual ability equal to such and such.”
Anas asked, “Could he endure that, Messenger
of Allah?” the Prophet said, “he will be as
strong as a hundred.”
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with
him) asked the Messenger of Allah saying, “O
Messenger of Allah! Will we approach our wives
in Paradise? The Prophet (pbuh) answered,
“The man will approach a hundred virgin a
day.”
[Reported by Tabarani]
Laqit Al-`Aquiliy asked, “O Messenger of
Allah! Will we have righteous wives therein?”
He said “the righteous men will be for the
righteous women. You will give pleasure to
each other without childbirth.
[Reported by Tabarani and Al- Hakim]
Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with
him) also related, “I asked the Prophet
(pbuh),” will we have sexual intercourse in
Paradise? The Prophet (pbuh) answered, “by
whom in whose hand is my soul! It will be very
138
tense. Yet as soon as he finishes she returns
virgin again.”
[Reported by Ibn Hibban]
No sooner do the people of paradise have
sexual intercourse with their wives, then the
wives return virgin again.
[Reported by Tabarani]
Abu Umama said, “When the Prophet
(pbuh) was asked, “Do the people of Paradise
have sexual intercourse’? The Prophet (pbuh)
answered; It will be with an inexhaustible
penis and an incessant desire. It will be very
tense”.
[Reported by Tabarani]
Repentance
Qur’anic verses:
{Those who invoke not, with Allah, any
other God, nor slay such life as Allah has made
sacred, except for just cause, nor commit
fornication: -and any that does this (not only)
meets punishment (but) the chastisement on
the day of judgement will be doubled to him,
and he will dwell therein in ignominy, unless he
repents believes, and works righteous deeds,
for Allah will change the evil of such persons
into good, and Allah is off- forgiving, most –
merciful.}
[Al -Furqan: 67: 70]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Allah becomes pleased with the repentance
of his bondman greater than one who missed
his beast with his food and drink while crossing
the desert. That man became despondent and
139
resorted to the shade or a tree and slept.
Meanwhile, he found his beast standing beside
him. Then he took its bridle and said,” O Allah!
You are my bondman and I am your lord .He
made a mistake out of excessive Joy.
[Reported by Muslim]
140
Jealousy Consumes love
Jealousy
Qur’anic verses:
{And they have therein spouses purified;
and they a bid therein (for ever).}
[Al- Baqarah: 25]
Prophetic Hadiths:
There are two types of jealousy85 which
Allah likes or dislikes. The jealousy which Allah
likes is jealously in doubt, otherwise Allah
dislikes it.
[Reported by Al-Hakim and Ibn Hibban]
One day, the Prophet (pbuh) got up during
the night. He went out to visit the cemetery of
Baqi .In the morning, he found ‘Aishah
suffering from a painful headache, saying “O
my head!” The Prophet (pbuh) who himself
began to tell unwilling said, “By Allah, it is me
who has headache.” When she groaned again,
he fondled her by saying, “what is wrong if you
died before me and then I shrouded you,
prayed over your body and buried you? ‘Aishah
shouted, out of jealousy, “Did it be the end of
other than me. I think you would return to my
home after I pass a way to make love with
your wives! Accordingly, the Prophet (pbuh)
smiled and felt some kind of relief.
[Reported by Al-Hakim]

85 It is better for the spouse not to doubt each other. One would rather let his or her partner keep the
thought of Allah. A wife should advocates her husband not accuses him like a police inspector.
141
A Feather in the Wind
A wife’s Rebellion86 Against her
Husband
Qur’anic verses:
As to those women on those part ye fear
disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them first
.Next refuse to share their beds and lastly beat
them (lightly) if they return to obedience, seek
not means against them (of annoyance); for
Allah is most high great (above you all).
[An-Nisa’ : 34]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Listen! Treat women kindly, they are like
prisoners in your hands. Beyond this, do not
use any thing from them. If they are guilty of
flagrant misbehaviors, you can remove them
from your beds and beat them but do not
inflict upon them any sever punishment. Then,

86 Before delving into the point, we would like to explain the physical and psychological changes that a
woman has when menstruating. Therefore, a husband should put into his consideration that changes when
treating his wife while menstruation.
In this book “Al-Hijab” Mawdudi said, “Biologist and anatomists, mentioned some physical changes
encompassing the menstruation period:
(1) low temperature
(2) low pressure
(3) change in glands
(4) low excretion of salts
(5) bad digestion
(6) hard respiration
(7) laziness
(8) bad concentration
Thus, we can realize why Islam forbids divorce while menstrual period.
142
If they obey you, you do not have recourse to
anything else against them.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
None of you should flog his wife as he flogs
a slave and then have sexual intercourse with
her in the last part of the day.
[Reported by Bukhari and Muslim]
143
A Husband’s Rebellion Against His
Wife87

87 We have mentioned before how a man can treat his rebellious wife. He may either admonish her, desert
her or lightly beat her. Beating one’s wife may be by a pillow as if he fondles her. Such beating may lead to
reconciliation.
As for husband’s rebellion against his wife, it should be wisely analyzed by the wife. There is no harm if
she starts to do whatever pleases him even if she waives her right of expenditure.
The husband himself may be the cause of the woman’s disobedience and rebelliousness. For example, he
may be very stingy and miserly. He may also be very emotional and excitable. He may also be someone
who is very harsh, tough and despotic. He may be one who forces his will and decisions upon his wife in
every matter without consulting with her, taking into consideration her feelings, exchanging views on the
matter and being pleasant with this wife. He might consider his wife like some kind of chattel [instead of
another human] and therefore deals with her with coldness and coarseness without any compassion or
gentleness. [Translator’s Footnote: A disease that seems to afflict many men in their ability to be very kind
and brotherly to their brothers but extremely cold and harsh towards their own wives. Obviously, their
wives have more rights upon them than any of their brothers in Islam. This mistaken behavior must be
corrected.] The cause for that may also be in his evil friends who sow discontent and evil between a man
and his wife by leading him and pushing him to disliking and hating his wife and wishing to be free from
her. “[In fact,] (his extreme good nature beyond normal limits) may also lead to his wife to change her
disposition and make her try to override him and then disobey his commands and elevate herself above
him.” [Majallah al-Jundi aI-Muslim, p. 29, fn.1.]
“He may cause his wife different forms of harm, such as cursing her or her family, reviling her, verbally
abusing her for the tiniest of reasons. He may insult her because of her family, if it is less prestigious or
honorable than his. Or [another act of rebellion on his part is that] he may try to bring harm to her by
divorcing her and then, before the waiting period is finished, bring her back as his wife and then divorce
her again. All this is done without the intention of returning to a real married life but simply to harm her
and transgress her rights. Or he may avoid having sexual intercourse with her for no reason or legal
sanction. This may lead the woman to lose her chastity and doing something forbidden. ” [Al-Bahuti alHanbali, Kishaaf al-Qina an Matn al-Iqna , vol. 5, pp. 184, 290, 213; Ibn Abideen, Radd al-Mukhtar ala alDarr al-Mukhtar wa Hashiyah, vol. 3, p. 190; Tafseer al-Manaar, vol. 5, p. 76.]
Shaikh aI-Islam ibn Taimiya stated, “The harm that comes about to the woman by the man avoiding sexual
intercourse with her is such that the marriage may be dissolved under every circumstance, regardless if it
was intentional from the husband or unintentional, or it- he had the ability to perform sexual intercourse or
not.” [Ibn Taimiyah, al-Fatawa al-Kubra, vol. 4, p. 562; Ibn Taimiyah, Majmuah al-Fatawa, vol. 32, p. 40.]
[Rebellion on the part of the husband includes] when he orders her to do something forbidden or illegal,
such as going out in public displaying her beauty or uncovering parts of her that must be covered, to go
among men she is not related to, to drink alcohol or take drugs, go to clubs and salons wherein bad things
are taking place.
Also from rebellion on the part of the husband is his not fulfilling his marital obligations. For example, he
makes life difficult for her with respect to her food, drink, clothing and so forth. [Translator’s footnote:
This is one of the biggest marital problems that one can see occurring in the West. Many times, the
husbands simply do not support their wives and families. Although they have the physical and other means
to work and support their families, they would resort to putting themselves and their families on the welfare
system. Often times, the husbands will give the flimsiest excuses for not accepting work and therefore put
families in such situations. Many times, the husband would rather force his wife to go out and work which,
in the West, almost always involves putting the Muslim woman into situations that she should not be put
into rather than he accept a job that he is not completely pleased with. Hence, their families do not achieve
the economic well-being that they deserve and, often, the wife loses respect for the husband as he is not
performing one of his most important obligations of married life: providing maintenance for his wife and
family. Sooner or later this often leads to many other problems within the marriage, although the root of
those problems is the husband’s unwillingness to work and sustain the family. Or he makes her live in a
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Qur’anic verses:
{If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her
husband’s part, there is no blame on them if
they arrange an amicable settlement between
themselves, and such settlement is best; even
though men’s soul are swayed by greed. But if
ye do God and practice self restraint, Allah is
well- acquainted with all that you do.}
[Al-Nisa’: 128]
Arbitration
Qur’anic verses:
{If ye tear a breach between them twain,
appoint two arbiters, one from his family, and
the other from hers; if they seek set things
aright, Allah will cause their reconciliation: for
Allah has full knowledge, and is acquainted
with all things.}
[Al-Nisa: 35]

residence that is not something suitable for her. In addition, included among the acts of rebellion is his
unfair distribution of his time or where he stays [when he is married to more than one wife] without legal
justification. Or, he may not fulfill the needs of his wife and children such that their well-being is not met.
Or, he does things that hurt and dishonor his wife and show lack of respect for her, such as back-biting her,
slandering her or joking about her. Or, he may be desirous of her wealth and forces her to spend it on his
behalf. [The following are also acts that constitute rebellion on the part of the husband:] having anal
intercourse with her, which is forbidden and is never permissible, his traveling for fun, amusement and
entertainment without taking her permission as he is thereby wasting ample wealth for a useless purpose,
while that wealth is meant to sustain the rights of his household
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Sex: Questions and Answers
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know
About Sex
Questions about sex are many. Many people may become confused
when facing a problem concerning their sexual relation with their
wives. What follows is a set of rules, in the form of questions and
answers if applied you will have a happy marital life.
For Both Partners
How do the partners satisfy each other?
Many husbands are selfish. They want only to satisfy themselves.
They do not bother about satisfying their wives. They just seek after
their own satisfaction. No sooner do they ejaculate than they stop
making love with their wives. As a matter of fact, women do not
orgasm during intercourse, and even if one’s wife is capable of climax,
the odds are very much against you coming at the same time. A
husband should control himself until he satisfies his wife.
How could sexual satisfaction of the partners concur?
Some men are so self-centered that they do not bother about
whether their wives are satisfied or not. They are only interested in
satisfying themselves. As a matter of fact women have desire similar
to men s. However men orgasm too soon. Thus men should do their
best to delay the moment of ejaculation as late as possible. The more
concurrent the spouse, the happier they are. Therefore, the husband
who controls the sexual intercourse with his wife should put into his
consideration that he is required to satisfy his wife too.
What drugs should we take to strengthen our genitals?
Sexual drugs have only temporary effects. Addicting to it may lead
to the deficiency of one’s sexual capability. However, if one wants to
strengthen his sexual capabilities, he would better practice sports,
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have a rest, eat well and get rid of his own affliction and sorrow.
What if someone ejaculates after urination?
There is no harm if the semen ejaculated is little. This may be due
to the wide opening of one’s penis, which in turn may drain the surplus
semen. However, if this case takes a long time or the amount of
semen is too much, it may be classified as a disease. Vitamin (B) and
Ocotene are very useful in such a case. Young men should avoid erotic
scenes or readings.
What is semen?
The amount of semen ejaculated in one stroke is about 53 cm. Each
cm. contains about sixty million chromosomes. Examining one’s semen
under microscope, we will fin out that there are many countless
numbers of active chromosomes.
What are the causes of sexual weakness?
(1) Excessive love making
(2) Early love making
(3) Masturbation
(4) Physical weakness
(5) Physical or mental exhaustion
(6) Diseases
(7) Psychological disorder
(8) Drugs like opium
(9) Smoking
(10) Wine
(11) Contraception
(12) Fear
What if I orgasm too soon?
The period of sexual intercourse the people spend is not the same.
Some have the ability to keep having sexual intercourse with their
wives until they satisfy each other while others can not. If you actually
climax much too soon before you wanted to, take your time, take a
nap and try again when you should be much more relaxed and ready
to take your time.
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What time should we have sex?
When you have sex does not really matter. What should matter
instead is that you and your wife have sex when you are comfortable.
Such an act may be virtually done after the dawn prayer when both
husband and wife are comfortable.
What position should I use?
There are many common ways in which couples physically position
themselves for sexual intercourse.
The man-on-top position is the most common and preferable of all
intercourse positions. In some cases such a position may turn upside
down, to be woman-on-top position. But it is harmful to have sexual
intercourse with your wife while standing. It is also better not to eat a
heavy meal, since that will just make you sleepy.
How should newly married spouses behave?
(1) To learn how to love each other
(2) Sexual harmony may not be attained in the beginning of the
marital life.
(3) To be loved you should love first.
How could the spouse keep love each other?
(1) Give her a red flower or any romantic one.
(2) Have breakfast with her in bed occasionally.
(3) Keep every thing that reminds you with the honey month and
any good day you spend together.
(4) Give her a call from your work to tell her that you love her.
(5) Have a picnic together in the weekend.
(6) Go together to the seashore to see the sun setting.
(7) Tell her what you think in and hope for.
(8) Bring her what she prefers of perfumes.
(9) Keep your personal belongings tidy and neatly.
(10) Keep looking at her lovingly and praise her dress and compo
(11) Give her a hot kiss before leaving or returning home.
What if I ejaculate too soon?
(1) Do something else for a while.
(2) A wife may encourage her husband by letting him do what he
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wants freely and without any ironical gesture.
(3) A husband may wear a condom.
What is impotence?
Impotence is the weakness of the masculine organ . It is of two
types: physical or Psychological. Psychological impotence is caused by
one’s Psychological disorder. Physical impotence may because of a
disease that affects one’s sexual organs or prostate. As for
Psychological impotence can easily be treated. That is natural- you are
nervous, take your time, don’t be angry, don’t think of your financial
lose and don’t exhaust yourself in work.
How can virginity membrane be deflowered?
Long for play, caressing and fondling are so important that they
stimulate the wife’s glands that intern excrete some kinds of liquids
which let the penis enter the vagina easily.
What position should be used when deflowering the
virginity?
(1) To do that, have your wife lie down on her back with her knees
spread and bent to shoulder level. In doing so, the vagina will
easily be opened, letting the penis easily penetrate.
(2) For the woman-on-top position, the man lies on his back and
the woman lowers herself onto his erect penis. On top the
woman can regulate and control the first entry accurately.
What is the role of kissing in generating love?
Emotional relations among people are not the same. Some people
may be satisfied by just kissing the partner’s head. Others may prefer
kissing lips. The kiss is the means by which one can measure the
degree of his partner’s love.
What are the harms transmitted through kissing?
If one has a hot kiss without completing the sexual intercourse, he
may get a disease called mononucleosis, just from kissing. One should
not exaggerate in kissing and caressing his partner so long as he
would not like to have sexual intercourse with her.
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Is there any relation between food and sexual ability?
A human body needs food to grow and to live healthy. However,
the quality of one’s food is more important than quantity.
How can a husband remain capable all the life?
Moderate sex, may be two or three times a week in the beginning
of their marital life and then it may be reduced to two or one.
Does a big penis satisfy the woman more than a smaller
one?
You have probably heard horror stories about the ideal size of penis
and that the woman loves the man who has a big penis. As a matter of
fact, the average penis is thirteen to eighteen centimeters in length
when erect, and that is more than enough to satisfy a woman. The
vagina is capable of stretching to take a large penis or shape itself to
pleasure a small one. Size has very little to do with one’s ability as a
lover.
What about Masturbation?
Excessive masturbation has many effects: physical or psychological.
It may lead to fast ejaculation or weak erection when marrying. But
after practicing natural and legal intercourse, he regains his sexual
capability again. Such people would better practice sports and read
and avoid erotic scenes.
Does sex spoil love?
Unlawful sex will surely spoil it. This is because unrestricted sex
may be boring. Lovers beyond the pale of marriage will surely
separate each other.
What are the differences between man and woman
concerning sensual relationship?

  1. Women’s desire changes from time to time. Sometimes it
    increases and another time decreases. On the other hand, man’s
    desire has no time.
  2. Unlike woman, man is easy to stimulate. He does not need to
    show erotic scenes or foreplay to practice sex. On the other
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    hand, woman needs to be stimulated before sex.
  3. Unlike man woman needs a long time to reach the point of
    orgasm.
    What about the circumcision of females?
    Circumcision is to cut the front part of the clitoris. It is forbidden in
    countries where moderate or hot weather. But it is necessary in hot
    climate because it leads to an unusual sexual sensitivity. It is
    recommended to cut only a small part of the clitoris to preserve her
    sensual desire.
    What if one fails to be erotic while having sexual
    intercourse?
    This may be due to one’s systematic life. The wife is mainly
    responsible for such a case. She would better wear erotic clothes,
    speak and behave in erotic manner.
    How could a husband continue having sexual relation as long
    as he lives?
  4. He should be moderate in having sexual intercourse.
  5. He should not exhaust himself mentally or physically.
  6. Abstaining from wine, smoking and erotic medicine.
  7. Having trust in one’s self.
  8. Exchanging love, lovely words and passionate glances.
  9. Having delicious and nutritious food.
  10. Using different perfumes.
    What do enemies of Islam want from the Muslim woman?
    There are those who want to distract the woman from doing your
    her. They want to distract her from meeting her noble obligation that
    is, to defend the religion of Allah and raise His Word high. Those
    enemies use many methods:
    First: They distract her from what Allah created her to perform of
    worship, belief and Da’wah (disseminating Islam). They use this
    worldly life as their bate: Jewelry stores, fashions that originate in
    non-Muslim countries, new models all the time, desires raised, hunger
    that can never be satisfied, pleasures and competition for them and
    endless ways for joy. Allah did not create us for this. Indulging in
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    these matters is usually accompanied by wasting time and money and
    igniting enmity and competition between the rich and the poor.
    Second: They ignite enmity between woman and man. To those
    sinners, she is a daughter that is put down, a humiliated mother, an
    abused wife and an oppressed sister! Men are always unjust,
    hypocrites, dictators, freedom preventers and suppressers according
    to them. There is a fabricated war that those evil ones are starting for
    no reason other than to direct her to rebel against her father, be
    arrogant with her brother and disobedient to her husband. They do not
    call for justice, mercy and unity. They call for hatred, arrogance and
    destruction.
    Third: They do not stop at their call for rebellion against parents,
    brothers and husbands; rather, they plot against Islam. They call upon
    you to rebel against the obligations of Islam and the decrees of the AllKnowing King. Islam, to them, is unjust and Islamic laws are imperfect
    and restrictive. They call upon her, day and night, to rebel and insist
    on the disobedience of this religion. They try to rid her of religion.
    They try to rid her of comfort and safety under generous parenthood,
    happy marriage and good brotherly relations.
    Those devils portray piety and honor as chains on freedom. To
    them, Hijab does not cover the head, but also covers the mind;
    prayer, fasting and Zakat are a waste of time and effort; and
    obedience to husbands is slavery and a rectum to the Stone Age. They
    distorted all facts and changed all truths, all to serve their evil goals.
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    Translator’s Postscript
    Both spouses should put into their consideration when marrying the
    following intentions: freeing themselves of unfulfilled sexual desires,
    and protecting themselves from falling into that which Allah has
    forbidden (i.e. adultery and fornication). What’s more, a reward as the
    reward for sadaqa (voluntary giving of charity) is recorded for them
    every time they have sex. This is based on the following hadith of the
    Prophet narrated by Abu Dharr:
    “Some of the companions of the Prophet
    said to him: ‘O Messenger of Allah, the affluent
    among us have taken the rewards (of the
    hereafter)! They pray as we pray, fast as we
    fast, and then they give charity from the
    surplus of their wealth!” The Prophet said: “Did
    Allah not make for you that from which you
    can give sadaqa? Verily for every time you say
    Subhannallah (Exalted is Allah) there is a
    sadaqa, and for every time you say
    Allahuakbar (Allah is Most Great) there is a
    sadaqa, and for every time you say AlHamdulillah (Praise is to Allah) there is
    sadaqa, and in every act of enjoining what is
    right there is sadaqa, and in every act of
    forbidding what is wrong there is a sadaqa,
    and in your sexual relations there is a sadaqa.”
    The Companions said: “O Messenger of Allah,
    is there a reward for one of us when he
    satisfies his sexual desire?” The Prophet said:
    “Don’t you see, if he had satisfied it with the
    forbidden, would there not have been a sin
    upon him?” They said: “Why, yes! He said: “In
    the same way, when he satisfies it with that
    which is lawful, there is for him in that a
    reward.”
    [Muslim and Ahamd]
    For Both Partners:
    Be proud of your religion and the religion of your ancestors. Be a
    good example for your sons and daughters and sincere in your
    belonging to this mighty nation. Know that honor is an honor to all
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    wise people, and that adultery is dishonorable to all nations, even if
    some called it freedom. Know that adultery is also done with the eyes
    by seeing, with the ears by listening, and with the mouth by kissing,
    as was mentioned in a Hadith related by Imam Muslim. Your happiness
    is in being obedient and believing people, loyal and generous partners
    and pious and merciful parents.
    For a Muslim Wife:
    Beware of the loyalists of Satan who want to lead you astray. Be a
    slave of Allah, righteous and descendent of righteous women and know
    your role in building this great nation. Perform your duty and do not be
    a cause for destruction. Be a maker of righteous generation that will
    lead mankind, again, to what is right and proper, to the great religion
    of Islam.
    Those women who are showing parts of their bodies to men, will
    not enter Paradise or smell its fragrance and are cursed, as in the
    Hadith related by Imam Muslim. Hijab is an honor and protection for
    you. Hijab must be modest in color and not exotic, wide and thick and
    not revealing, different from the dress of non-Muslim women and men.
    For a Muslim Husband:
    Treat your wife kindly. Do not be harsh, tough and despotic. Do not
    force your will and decisions upon your wife in every matter without
    consulting with her. Take into consideration her feelings, exchange
    views on the matter and be pleasant with this wife. Do not consider
    your wife like some kind of chattel [instead of another human] and
    therefore deal with her with coldness and coarseness without any
    compassion or gentleness. In his comprehensive speech in the
    Farewell pilgrimage, the Prophet (pbuh) laid down the bases of
    behavior among people. He even commended spouses to treat each
    other kindly. Muslim relates,
    “The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) then set out
    and the Quraysh did not doubt that he would
    halt at al Mash’ar al-Haram (the sacred site) as
    the Quraysh used to do in the pre-Islamic
    period. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh),
    however, passed on until he came to Arafat
    and he found that the tent had been pitched
    for him at Namirah. There he got down till the
    sun had passed the meridian; he commanded
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    that al-Qaswa should be brought and saddled
    for him. Then he came to the bottom of the
    valley, and addressed the people saying: Verily
    your blood, your property is as sacred and
    inviolable as the sacredness of this day of
    yours, in this month of yours, in this town of
    yours, Behold! Everything pertaining to the
    Days of Ignorance is under my feet completely
    abolished. Abolished are also the blood–
    revenges of the Days of Ignorance. The first
    claim of ours on blood-revenge which I abolish
    is that of the son of Rabi’ah ibn al-Harith, who
    was nursed among the tribe of Sa’ d and killed
    by Hudhayl. And the usury of she pre-Islamic
    period is abolished, and the first of our usury I
    abolished is that of Abbas ibn Abdul-Muttalib,
    for it is all abolished. Fear Allah concerning
    women! Verily you have taken them on the
    security of Allah, and intercourse with them
    has been made lawful unto you by words of
    Allah. You too have right over them, and that
    they should not allow anyone to sit on your
    bed whom you do not like. But if they do that,
    you can chastise them but not severely. Their
    right upon you are that you should provide
    them with food and clothing in a fitting
    manner. I have left among you the Book of
    Allah, and if you hold fast to it, you would
    never go astray. And you would be asked
    about me (on the Day of Resurrection), (now
    tell me) what would you say? They (the
    audience) said: We will bear witness that you
    have conveyed (the message), discharged (the
    ministry of Prophethood) and given wise
    (sincere) counsel. He (the narrator) said: He
    (the Holy Prophet) ‘then raised his forefinger
    towards the sky and pointing it at the people
    (said): “O Allah, be Witness. O Allah be
    witness,” saying it thrice.”
    [Reported by Muslim]