Islamic Perspective on Sex PDF english islamic book

Islamic Perspective on Sex PDF english islamic book

Islamic Perspective on Sex
By:
Dr. Abdul-Rahman Al-Sheha
Translated by:
Abdurrahmaan Murad
Reviewed by:
Osama Emara (Islamhouse.com)
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Terminology used in this book
(Taken from Sheik Mahmoud Murad’s book ‘Common mistakes in Translation’)

  1. Rubb: Some prefer to translate the term ‘Rubb’ into
    ‘Lord.’ Beside the fact that the latter is a Biblical term
    referring to the alleged lordship of the slave of Allah,
    Prophet Jesus, the word ‘lord’ which is limited to
    ‘master’, ‘chief’, ‘proprietor’, or ‘ruler’, can never convey
    the conclusive signification of the term ‘Rubb’. The term
    ‘Rubb’ means the Creator, the Fashioner, the Provider, the
    One upon Whom all creatures depend for their means of
    subsistence, and the One Who gives life and causes death.
  2. Deen: The word translated as religion is ‘Deen’, which in
    Arabic commonly refers to a way of life, which is both
    private and public. It is an inclusive term meaning: acts of
    worship, political practice, and a detailed code of conduct,
    including hygiene or etiquette matters.
  3. [] Sallallaaho ‘alaihi wa sallam: Some translate it as
    ‘peace be upon him’. This translation is incorrect; the
    correct translation is, may Allah exalt his mention, and
    render him and his household safe and secure from every
    derogatory thing.
  4. [] Radya-Allahu anhu: May Allah be pleased with
    him.
    
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    Introduction
    All praise is due to Allah, the Rubb of the worlds, and may
    Allah exalt the mention of His Prophet, and render him, his
    household and companions safe and secure from every
    derogatory thing.
    Islam acknowledges the fact that one’s sexual desire has to be
    satisfied. It considers fulfilling this desire a praiseworthy
    matter, as long as it is done within Shari’ah limits. It is not
    disdainful to satisfy this desire, nor should it be neglected.
    Allah () says:
    Beautified for men is the love of desired things – women
    and children, and heaped-up treasures of gold and silver,
    and pastured horses and cattle and crops. That is the
    provision of the present life; but Allah has with Him the
    best return [i.e. Jannah]. (3:14)
    The Prophet () said:
    “Women, and perfume have been made dear to me, and I
    find comfort in performing Salah (prayer).” (Nasa’ee)
    Islam prohibits suppressing this desire completely, for Islam
    is the Deen which is in accord with the natural disposition of
    man. It fulfills his natural needs in an appropriate way, in
    accordance with Shari’ah law. Abu Hurairah () said:
    The Messenger of Allah () was asked about what admits
    people into Jannah [Heavenly Abode] most. He said: ‘Fear
    of Allah and good manners.’ He was then asked about
    what admits people into Fire most.’ He said: ‘One’s tongue
    and private parts.’ (Tirmidthi)
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    In this booklet we will discuss the Islamic method of satisfying
    sexual desire, and how it can be transformed from a base desire
    into an act of worship through which a Muslim receives
    reward. Abu Dharr () said that some of the companions said
    to the Prophet (): ‘O Messenger of Allah! The rich companions
    have attained the greatest rewards…they pray as we pray, fast
    as we fast, and give out in charity from their wealth!’ The
    Messenger of Allah () said:
    ‘Has not Allah given you that with which you can give
    charity from? Indeed every Tasbeehah1 is a charity, every
    Takbeerah2 is a charity, every Tahmeedah3 is a charity and
    every Tahleelah4 is a charity. Ordering with the good is a
    charity, and forbidding evil is a charity, and when one of
    you approaches his family, it too is a charity.’ The
    companions () said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, one of us
    approaches his wife desiring her, and receives reward on
    account of that?’ The Messenger of Allah () said: ‘Won’t a
    person receive sin for approaching an unlawful woman?
    Similarly, when he approaches his wife, he will be
    rewarded.’ (Muslim)
    In Islam, marriage is encouraged. It is the only way a person
    may relieve his sexual tension. The Messenger () said:
    ‘I marry women, so whoever disregards my Sunnah, is not
    from me.’ (Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel)
    1 i.e. to say ‘Subhanallah’ meaning: Far removed is Allah from every
    imperfection. (AM)
    2 i.e. to say ‘Allahu Akbar’ meaning: Allah is the greatest. (AM)
    3 i.e. to say: ‘Alhamdulillah’ meaning: ‘All praise is due to Allah.’ (AM)
    4 i.e. to say ‘Laa ilaaha illaa Allah’ meaning: ‘There is no god worthy of
    being worshipped except Allah alone. (AM)
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    Islam considers marriage an innate need in the life of the
    individual. Love, mercy, and altruism spread in society, and it
    preserves the human race by means of procreation. One’s
    chastity, honor and dignity are preserved through it; therefore,
    abstaining from marriage prevents one from these benefits and
    excellences and causes him to oppose his natural disposition.
    A life of tranquility, peace and affection is what Islam seeks
    to establish between husband and wife. Allah () says:
    And of His signs is that He created for you from
    yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them;
    and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in
    that are signs for a people who give thought. (30:21)
    Through marriage each spouse safeguards the other from the
    unlawful; this is the goal of marriage in Islam. Allah () says:
    They are lebaas (i.e. body cover, screen or sakan [i.e. you
    enjoy the pleasure of living with them]) for you and you are
    the same for them. (2:187)
    There are some who oppose Islam in this regard, and support
    sexual relationships that are not bound by Shari’ah laws. Islam
    admonishes Muslims who behave like animals and fulfill their
    sexual desires however they please. What a grave sin it is
    indeed, when a man engages in sexual intercourse with a
    woman who is unlawful to him!
    The Prophet () said:
    ‘There is no sin more serious after Shirk [associating
    partners with Him in worship] than fornication.’ (Ahmed)
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    Islam nurtures and teaches its followers to be chaste, pure, and
    dignified. It seeks to refine and perfect the manners and
    etiquette of the Muslim. Abu Umaamah () said:
    ‘A young man came to the Prophet () and said: ‘O
    Messenger of Allah, allow me to fornicate!’ People
    gathered around him and said: ‘Mah…Mah!’
    5 The Prophet
    () said: ‘Bring him.’ He then came close to the Prophet ()
    and sat. He () then said to him: ‘Do you like this for your
    mother?’ He said: ‘No, by Allah! May I be your ransom!’
    The Prophet () said to him: ‘Similarly, people abhor this
    for their mothers.’ The Prophet () then asked him: ‘Do
    you like it for your daughter?’ He said: ‘No, By Allah! May
    I be your ransom!’ He () said to him: ‘Similarly, people
    abhor this for their daughters.’ He () then said to him: ‘Do
    you like it for your sister?’ He said: ‘No, by Allah! May I be
    your ransom!’ He () said to him: ‘Similarly, people abhor
    this for their sisters.’ He () then said: ‘Do you like it for
    your paternal aunts?’ He said: ‘No, by Allah! May I be your
    ransom!’ He () said: ‘Similarly, people abhor it for their
    paternal aunts.’ He () then asked him: ‘Do you like it for
    your maternal aunts?’ He said: ‘No, by Allah! May I be your
    ransom!’ He () said: ‘Similarly, people abhor it for their
    maternal aunts.’ (The narrator of the Hadeeth said that) the
    Prophet () placed his hand on the young man’s chest and
    said: ‘O Allah forgive him, purify his heart, and safeguard
    him from fornication.’ After that the most hated thing to
    that youth was fornication.’ (Ahmed)
    Islam does not approve of monasticism or abstinence from
    lawful worldly pleasures. Anas b. Malik () said:
    5 An expression, used to express scorn and displeasure. (AM)
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    ‘Three people came to the houses of the Prophet () asking
    about the worship of the Prophet (). When they were
    informed of his worship, they saw it as little, and said: ‘we
    are unlike the Prophet (); Allah has forgiven him his past
    and future sins!’ One of them said: ‘As for me, I will
    continuously pray throughout the nights.’ The other said: ‘I
    will continuously fast and not break it.’ The last one said: ‘I
    will not approach women.’ The Messenger () came and
    asked: ‘Are you the ones who said this? Indeed, by Allah, I
    am the most god-fearing of you and pious, but I fast and
    break it, pray and take rest, and marry women, so whoever
    does not adhere to my Sunnah is not from me.’ (Bukhari)
    Islam does not allow fulfilling one’s sexual desire in an
    uncontrolled animalistic manner. Muhammad Qutb said:
    ‘There is no problem with the issue of sex in Islam. Islam
    sets regulations through which one can satisfy his natural
    needs [among which is his sexual desire] and does not
    prevent him from doing so. The regulations set in Islam
    [regarding this topic] are similar to bridges set over a
    stream; it does not block the stream, rather organizes
    commuting back and forth. In this manner other goals can
    be achieved as well, which could not have been achieved
    [before the erection of the bridge]. This is exactly what
    Islam aims with man’s sexual urge. It sets up regulations,
    not to prevent and suppress it; but organizes and
    regulates it, for these are the boundaries and limits of
    Allah. Allah says: Do not transgress the boundaries of
    Allah. These are the boundaries that Allah sets as safe
    limits within which man can disburse that energy, and
    with which goodness encompasses both individual and
    society.
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    The norms of the Jaahiliyah [Ignorance] society realized
    the importance of regulating and organizing all natural
    human desires except sexual desire! It is the only natural
    desire of man which they did not bind by regulations! Yet
    [the norms of that society] did not allow one to own and
    possess things the way he liked from wherever he
    wanted, for this was considered theft, which that law
    punished. Similarly, there are regulations concerning
    dwellings and clothing, these are not left to ones’
    desires!’6
    Dr. Abdul Rahmaan b. Abdul-Kareem ash-Sheha
    Riyadh, 11535
    P.O. Box 59565
    Email: [email protected]
    http://www.islamland.org
    6 Manhaj at-Tarbiyah al-Islaamiyyah vol. 2, pg. 218-9
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    Islamic Perspective on Sex
    Islam acknowledges the fact that one’s sexual desire has to be
    satisfied in a manner pertinent to Shari’ah law, (i.e. through
    marriage). One may not satisfy his desire in any other way.
    Allah praises those who abide by these laws saying:
    Successful indeed are the believers, who are humble in
    their prayers, and who shun all that which is vain. And
    who are active in paying the Zakah, and who guard their
    chastity, except from their wives or what their right hands
    possess, for then they are not to be blamed. (23:1-6)
    Allah, the Exalted, encourages Muslims to get married, as this
    was a Sunnah (practice) of all Prophets and Messengers, may
    Allah render them safe from every derogatory thing. Allah ()
    says:
    And indeed We have sent before you Messengers, and
    bestowed them with wives and children. (13:38)
    The Messenger of Allah () also encouraged Muslims to get
    married and have offspring. Ma’qel b. Yasaar () said:
    “A man came to the Messenger of Allah () and said: ‘O
    Messenger of Allah, I am going to get married to a woman
    who is of noble descent, status and is rich but she is barren.
    Shall I marry her? The Messenger of Allah () said:
    ‘Marry the amicable and fertile woman, for I will boast (the
    large number of) my nation before all nations (on the Day
    of Resurrection).’” (Abu Dawood)
    Islam has ordered Muslims to assist the one who wants to get
    married immediately. Abu Hurairah () reported that the
    Messenger of Allah () said:
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    ‘If you are approached by a man (whose manners and Deen
    you are satisfied with) then get him married; for if you do
    not, Fitnah [trials and strife] and evil will prevail.’ (Haakim)
    Islam encourages guardians to make matters that relate to
    marriage uncomplicated. The Messenger of Allah () said:
    ‘A sign of woman’s Barakah [i.e. goodness] is ease in her
    engagement, dowry and labor [i.e. child birth]. (Haakim)
    Islam commands Muslims to get married and not fear
    poverty. Allah () says:
    And marry those among you who are single [i.e. a man
    who has no wife and the woman who has no husband] and
    [also marry] the salihun [pious, fit and capable ones] of your
    [male] slaves and maid-servants. If they are poor, Allah
    will enrich them out of His bounty. And Allah is AllSufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing [about the
    state of the people]. (24:32)
    The Prophet () said:
    ‘Allah will surely help three people; the mujaahid [Muslim
    fighter] in the path of Allah, the one who marries in order
    to safeguard himself and to seek chastity, and the ِslave
    who seeks to buy his freedom.’ (Haakim)
    Islam orders those who cannot afford to marry because of
    financial reasons, to keep chaste.
    Allah () says:
    And those who find no means of marriage should keep
    themselves chaste, until Allah grants them means out of
    His bounty. (24:33)
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    In Islam, youth are ordered to get married as soon as possible.
    The Prophet () has informed us what one must do to curb his
    desires if he cannot find the means to get married. He () said:
    ‘O youth, whoever of you can afford marriage [financially
    and physically] let him get married; for indeed it lowers the
    gaze, and keeps one chaste; whoever cannot get married, he
    should fast, for it safeguards him.’ (Bukhari)
    The Qur’an has given an exemplary paradigm to Muslim
    youth on how to deal with sexual desire, and how to suppress it
    in the story of Yousef (). Allah () says:
    And she, in whose house he was, sought to seduce him [to
    do an evil act], and she closed the doors and said: ‘Come on,
    O you.’ He said: ‘I seek refuge in Allah! Truly, he [your
    husband] is my master! He made my living in a great
    comfort! [So I will never betray him]. Verily, the
    wrongdoers will never be successful. And indeed she did
    desire him, and he would have inclined to her desire, had
    he not seen the evidence of his Rubb. Thus it was, that We
    might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual
    intercourse. Surely, he was one of Our chosen slaves.
    (12:23-4)
    Even if one is imprisoned and harmed, he should not give in
    to illegal relations. Allah () says:
    She said: ‘This is he [the young man] about whom you did
    blame me, and I did seek to seduce him, but he refused.
    And now if he refuses to obey my order, he shall certainly
    be cast into prison, and will be one of those who are
    disgraced. He said: ‘O My Rubb! Prison is dearer to me than
    that to which they invite me. Unless You turn away their
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    plot from me, I will feel inclined towards them and be one
    of the ignorant. (12:32-33)
    Islam prohibits releasing sexual desire by any means other
    than that which is lawful. If one fears that he would fornicate,
    then in that case only, he may masturbate to relieve his sexual
    tension, which is the lesser of the two evils.
    
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    Steps Islam has taken to regulate Sexual Desire
    Islam prohibits everything which arouses one sexually -except
    what occurs between spouses- for fear that a person would do
    what is unlawful. The following steps are carried out in Islam to
    prevent one from becoming sexually aroused.
  5. Separating children in their sleeping places. The Prophet
    () said:
    ‘Command your children to perform prayers when they are
    seven, and beat them [if they do not perform prayer] when
    they are ten, and separate them in their sleeping places.’
    (Abu Dawood)
    This is to prevent anything that would arouse them sexually
    while they are asleep.
    Islam orders Muslim women to wear Hijab and not to
    socialize with non-Mahram7 men, so that they can preserve their
    chastity and avoid arousing their sexual desires. Allah () says:
    O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the
    women of the believers to draw their cloaks [veils] all over
    their bodies. That will be better, that they should be
    known [as respectable women] so as not to be annoyed.
    And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (33:59)
    Islam has made it lawful for elderly women, who neither
    desire marriage, nor are desired by others, to take off their outer
    garment. Allah () says:
    7 i.e. men she is allowed to marry. (AM)
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    And as for women past childbearing who do not expect
    wedlock, it is no sin on them if they discard their [outer]
    clothing in such a way as not to show their adornment. But
    to refrain [i.e. not to discard their outer clothing] is better for
    them. And Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower. (24:60)
  6. Lowering the gaze. The Muslim is ordered to lower his gaze8
    and not look at prohibited things; for fear that a person would
    stare passionately after the initial look, and then imagine, and
    finally do the unlawful. Allah  says:
    Tell the believing men to lower their gaze [from looking at
    forbidden things], and protect their private parts [from
    illegal sexual acts]. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is
    All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women
    to lower their gaze [from looking at forbidden things], and
    protect their private parts [from illegal sexual acts] and not
    to show off their adornment except only that which is
    apparent and to draw their veils all over their bodies, faces,
    necks and bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment
    except to their husbands or their fathers, or their husband’s
    fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their
    brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s son, or their
    [Muslim] women, or the [female] slaves whom their right
    hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or
    small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let
    them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of
    their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you,
    O believers, that you may be successful. (24:30-1)
    8 This applies to men and women. (AM)
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    Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, said9:
    ‘Since [fornication] stems from what one sees, the
    command to lower the gaze is given precedence over
    safeguarding one’s private parts [i.e. to be chaste]. All
    incidents stem from what one sees; similarly, a fire starts
    with small sparks. An unlawful look, evolves into a
    thought [in the heart] which leads one to action and
    finally to the sin itself. That is why it is said:
    ‘Whoever safeguards these four things preserves his
    Deen; his eyesight, thoughts, utterances, and actions.’
    One may happen to glance at something unlawful, but it is
    prohibited for him to look at it intently or the second time.
    The Prophet () said to Ali ():
    ‘O Ali, do not look over and over. You would not be
    chastised on account of the first glance, but would be
    chastised on account of the second.’
    In order to encourage Muslims to lower their gaze, the Prophet
    () stated the reward a Muslim receives when he lowers his
    gaze out of fear of Allah and in hope of His reward. He ()
    said:
    ‘A glance is similar to a poisoned arrow of Iblees; whoever
    leaves it due to fear of Allah and to seek His pleasure
    receives reward; his Iman [increases], the pleasure of which
    he feels in his heart.’ (Haakim)
    9 Al-Jawab al-Kafi leman sa’ala an ad-dawaa’ ash-shafee (The Adequate
    Answer for him who asks for the Curative Remedy) pg. 232
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  7. Seeking permission before entering upon someone, so that
    he would not see something which is unlawful. Allah ()
    says:
    O you who believe! Let your slaves and slave girls, and
    those among you who have not reached puberty ask your
    permission [before they come to your presence] on three
    occasions: before Fajr [Morning Prayer], and while you put
    off your clothes for the noonday [rest], and after the Isha
    [late night prayer]. These three times are of privacy for you;
    other than these times there is no sin on you or on them to
    move about, attending to each other. Thus Allah makes
    clear the verses of this Qur’an [showing proofs for the legal
    aspect of permission for visits to you]. And Allah is AllKnowing, All-Wise. (24:58)
    Allah () says:
    And when the children among you reach the age of
    puberty, then let them [also] seek permission, as those
    senior to them [in age]. Thus Allah makes clear His Ayaat
    for you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise. (24:59)
  8. Islam prohibits men to imitate women and women to
    imitate men. Ibn Abbas () said:
    ‘The Messenger of Allah () cursed men who imitate
    women and women who imitate men.’ (Bukhari)
  9. Islam prohibits looking at things which arouse one
    sexually, such as evil pictures. Abdurrahmaan b. Abi Sa’eed alKhudri () said that his father said that the Prophet () said:
    ‘A man should not look at another man’s private parts, nor
    should a woman look at another’s private parts. Two men
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    should not lay naked under one garment, and two women
    should not lay naked under one garment.’ (Muslim)
  10. Listening to things which arouse one sexually, such as
    music. Music usually provokes one to do evil and arouses the
    individual sexually. The scholars were truthful in their
    statement about music, when they said: ‘Music leads to
    fornication.’10
  11. The Prophet () forbade sitting with youth [who have no
    hair growing on their faces] and looking at them intensely,
    especially if they are attractive. Abu Hurairah () said that the
    Prophet () said:
    ‘The son of Adam will commit his due share of fornication.
    The eyes fornicate and their fornication is looking at
    prohibited things. The ears fornicate and their fornication
    is listening to prohibited things. The tongue fornicates and
    its fornication is speaking to women strangers. The hand
    fornicates and its fornication is to touch unlawful things.
    The feet fornicate and their fornication is walking to the
    prohibited. The heart wishes and desires; thereafter, one
    may actually fornicate or come close to doing it.’ (Muslim)
  12. The Prophet () forbade secluding oneself with a woman
    [stranger]. For a person may fall prey to satanic desires and
    fornicate with her. The Prophet () said:
    ‘Let not one of you seclude himself with a woman
    [stranger], for Satan would be their third.’ (Ibn Hibban)
    10 This is the statement of Fudail b. ‘Iyaad, may Allah have mercy on
    him, and is narrated by Ibn Abid-Dunya and al-Baihaqi. (AM)
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    Free intermingling between both sexes is prohibited in Islam,
    for prohibited relationships may result; all that leads to the
    prohibited is prohibited as well.
    Muhammad Qutb said in his book ‘Man between Materialism
    and Islam’:
    ‘Innocent coeducation was a great myth that originated
    from the West. When the West headed to secularism [and
    lost its ideals] and aimed to treat sexual tension, the
    sociologists and psychologists presented the pros and
    benefits of coeducation. Thereafter the West realized the
    fallacies of these values and benefits. Psychiatrists and
    psychologists withdrew their opinions regarding
    coeducation, and stated that slow dances, innocent
    parties, mixed tea parties and picnics even under the
    supervision of parents arouse one’s desire. If these desires
    are suppressed due to social circumstances or shyness,
    this creates mental and nervous anxiety after the calmness
    one feels during these occasions. In this case, the youth
    resorts to one of two things; either to go to a place where
    he can do these things without the barriers present, or
    reside in this state of anxiety which leads to certain
    disorders. Therefore, what kind of innocence and
    nurturing is this?’
  13. Islam prohibits a woman to describe another woman to her
    husband for fear that he may dislike his wife on account of that.
    Some qualities which his wife tells to him about her may be
    preferable to him and are not present in his wife. Satan may
    even provoke him to seek this woman. Abdullah b. Masood ()
    said that the Messenger of Allah () said:
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    ‘A woman should not sit with another woman in order to
    describe her to her husband as though he is looking at her.’
    (Abu Dawood)
  14. Women are forbidden to leave their homes while they are
    perfumed and beautified, for this would cause people to look
    at them, and lead to the unlawful. Allah () says:
    And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves
    like that of the times of ignorance. (33:33)
    She is also prohibited to speak softly in a submissive tone; this
    safeguards her from weak men who desire fornication. A
    woman should talk to men (strangers) when needed only, and
    when she does, she should not talk in a flirtatious manner.11
    Allah () says:
    Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease
    [of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery] should be moved
    with desire, but speak in an honorable manner. (33:32)
    Allah () says:
    And when you ask [the Prophet’s wives] for anything you
    want, ask them from behind a screen: that is purer for your
    hearts and for their hearts. (33:53)
    Islam forbids nudity and the displaying of woman’s
    adornments. Allah () says:
    O Children of Adam! We have indeed bestowed upon
    you clothing to cover your shame [i.e. private parts] and as
    [a thing of] beauty and the clothing of piety is the best of
    11 This applies to men as well. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    20
    all. That is one of the signs of Allah that they may
    remember. (7:26)
    Abu Hurairah () said that the Messenger of Allah () said:
    ‘There are two types of people who belong to Hell-Fire,
    whom I have not yet seen; people, who have whips similar
    to cattle’s ears, with which they hit people. And women
    who are clothed yet unclothed; and walk in a seductive
    way, and do not obey Allah. Their heads are similar to a
    limp Bactrian camel’s hump. They will not enter Jannah,
    and its scent can be smelt from a distance.’ (Muslim)
    Islam clarifies with whom the woman is allowed to uncover
    her apparent adornment. Allah () says:
    And tell the believing women to lower their gaze [from
    looking at forbidden things] and protect their private parts
    [from illegal sexual acts] and not to show off their
    adornment except only that which is apparent and to draw
    their veils all over their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,
    and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands,
    or their fathers or their husband’s fathers or their sons, or
    their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brothers
    sons, or their sister’s sons, or their Muslim women or the
    female slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male
    servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no
    sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so
    as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of
    you beg Allah to forgive you, O believers, that you may be
    successful. (24:31)
  15. It is prohibited for the woman to travel alone, without
    Mahram (male guardian) such as the husband, father, brother,
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    21
    or relative who is prohibited for her to marry. The Messenger of
    Allah () said:
    ‘A man should not sit in seclusion with a woman [stranger],
    nor should she travel without Mahram.’ A man then asked
    the Prophet (): ‘O Messenger of Allah () I have enlisted
    to go in such and such battle, and my wife has left to make
    Hajj!’ The Prophet () said: ‘Go make Hajj with your wife.’
    (Bukhari)
    The wisdom behind this is to preserve and safeguard the
    woman’s chastity, for usually traveling is not easy, and requires
    many things, and the woman is weak in this regard due to the
    fact that she menstruates, becomes pregnant, and breast-feeds
    her child. Furthermore, a woman may be deceived easier than a
    man, for she may be affected by her surroundings. Therefore,
    during travel, she is in need of a person who safeguards and
    protects her from those who wish to harm her in any way, or
    take her money. She is also in need of someone who provides
    her with her needs, and ensures her total comfort. The Mahram
    is obliged to do all this, so she would not require the assistance
    of a stranger.
  16. The Prophet () commanded Muslims to approach their
    wives if they see a woman who stimulates their sexual desire,
    in order to relieve themselves from this desire in a lawful
    manner. By doing this, he safeguards himself from falling into
    evil, and rids himself of the whispering of Satan. The
    Messenger of Allah () said:
    ‘The woman comes in a shape similar to Satan, and goes in
    a shape similar to Satan12.’ (Muslim)
    12 Looking at women intently would certainly lead one to evil. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    22
  17. Islam commands both spouses to satisfy each other’s
    sexual desire when either spouse desires. It is prohibited for a
    woman to refuse her husband’s request when he wants to
    satisfy his sexual desire; since this would lead him to evil. He
    may search for other methods to satisfy his desire, or develop
    mental pressure, and both are detrimental to health. The
    Prophet () said:
    ‘If the husband calls his wife to sleep with him, and she
    refuses; and he sleeps that night angry with her, the Angels
    curse her until the morning.’ (Abu Dawood)
    The husband must also satisfy his wife’s desires in order to
    protect and safeguard her from evils. Imam Ibn Hazm, may
    Allah have mercy on him, said:
    ‘It is a duty of the husband to have intercourse with his
    wife, when she becomes purified if he is capable of doing
    so; otherwise, he is a sinner. The proof of this is in the
    words of Allah ():
    And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto
    them as Allah has ordained for you. (2:222)
    Due to the severity of this matter, if the husband does not
    fulfill the wife’s desire, she can raise her matter to the Shari’ah
    courts – if needed – so that she can take her due rights. This
    maintains the safeness of society from all evils.
    Those who love to see evil become widespread in community
    have indeed been threatened by Allah with a most severe
    punishment. He () says:
    Verily, those who like that [the crime of] illegal sexual
    intercourse should be propagated among those who
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    23
    believe, they will have a painful torment in this world and
    in the Hereafter. And Allah knows and you know not.
    (24:19)
    If this is the punishment of those who like illicit relations to
    become apparent (in society), what is the punishment of those
    who engage in it and help spread it in society?
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    24
    Marriage in Islam
    Sayyid Saabiq, may Allah have mercy on him, said in his book
    ‘Fiqh as-Sunnah’
    13:
    Islam has not legalized discharging sexual desire except
    through marriage, for Allah, the Exalted, did not want to
    equate man with other creatures, such that he fulfills his
    desire without understanding, or that his relationship with
    the female be a chaotic one without regulation.
    Islam has instituted a system which safeguards man’s
    honor and dignity. The relationship between man and
    woman only occurs after mutual consent of both parties is
    sought, and marriage is attested and witnessed by others
    and that both spouses belong to each other. In this right, a
    proper and safe way for this relationship is established,
    progeny would be safeguarded from going astray and
    preserved, and the woman is also safeguarded from all
    evil. Islam has preserved the core of the family which is
    nourished by motherly care, and taken care of by fatherly
    affection…thereafter children would grow up in a suitable
    environment. This is the system that Islam has accepted
    and it has effaced all others besides it.
    It is appropriate to mention in brief the steps taken in Islam in
    order to marry a woman.
    
    13 Vol. 2, pg. 7.
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    25
    1st Step: Choosing the Wife
    In Islam there is a specific way to choose a wife, for the
    purpose of marriage in Islam is not only to satisfy one’s sexual
    desire; rather, marriage is the first step in forming a family. For
    this reason, a Muslim should choose a wife with whom family
    relations can be maintained. This cannot happen unless a man
    marries a pious wife, who fears Allah, and fulfills her rightful
    duties, without ignoring other aspects, such as beautifying
    herself for her husband. Allah () says:
    And marry those among you who are single [i.e. a man
    who has no wife and the woman who has no husband] and
    [also marry] the Salihun [pious, fit and capable ones] of your
    [male] slaves and maid-servants. If they be poor, Allah will
    enrich them out of His bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficient
    for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing [about the state of the
    people]. (24:32)
    The Prophet () clarified the things that attract one to get
    married; and as we previously stated the most important factor
    among them is piety and Deen. He () said:
    ‘A woman is married for one of four reasons; for her
    wealth, lineage, beauty and Deen. Marry on account of
    Deen, may your hands be full of dust!’ (Bukhari)
    Islam seeks to prepare men to be husbands, who fit the
    description of the Prophet. The Prophet ():
    ‘The believers with the most complete and strong Iman are
    those who possess good character and manners, and the
    best of you is the best to his family.’ (Tirmidthi)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    26
    Islam also seeks to prepare women to be wives, who fit the
    description of the Prophet (). He was asked: ‘Which women
    are the best?
    He said: ‘[She is] the one who pleases [her husband] when
    he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her13F
    14, and
    does not disobey him when he calls her [to satisfy his
    sexual desire] and helps him [as long as that matter is not
    unlawful].’ (Nasa’ee)
    Islam seeks to prepare the family to be a helpful element in the
    society. The Prophet () said:
    ‘May Allah have mercy on a man who performed night
    prayers and awoke his wife, and if she refused to do so
    sprinkled some water on her face. May Allah have mercy
    on a woman who performed night prayers, awoke her
    husband, and if he refused sprinkled some water on his
    face.’ (Ibn Khuzaimah)
    
    14 She should obey her husband as long as he does not order her to do
    something unlawful. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    27
    2nd Step: Looking at the woman15
    Islam seeks to establish lasting marital relations; a person
    should seek an attractive spouse who has good character and
    manners, so that both would be committed in this relation.
    Therefore, Islam has allowed both spouses to look at each other.
    A man came to the Prophet () and informed him that he
    was engaged to a woman from the Ansaar. He () said to
    him: ‘Have you looked at her?’ He said: ‘No!’ Thereupon the
    Prophet () said to him:
    ‘Go and look at her, for indeed there is something (i.e. a
    defect) in the eyes of the Ansar [women].’ (Muslim)
    The Prophet () mentioned the wisdom for seeing a woman in
    this regard. Anas () reported that Al-Mughira b. Shu’bah ()
    engaged himself to a woman and the Prophet () said to him:
    ‘Go and look at her, for this will bring you closer together.’
    (Ibn Majah)
    The Islamic society is one that is safe and secure from social
    problems. Love and affection, between husband and wife, are
    15 One should bear in mind the following:
    a. It is unlawful for a man to be secluded with a woman in
    uninterrupted privacy. The Prophet () said:
    ‘He who believes in Allah and the Last Day let him not seclude
    himself with a woman [stranger] unless she is accompanied by a
    Mahram [male guardian] otherwise, Satan will be their third.’
    (Ahmed)
    b. He looks at what usually appears of the woman; face, hands, feet,
    etc.
    c. He should have genuine interest in getting engaged to the woman.
    d. He should not speak to anyone about the shortcomings of that
    woman. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    28
    normal feelings [in Islam]. As long as this love is pure, innocent,
    and lawful, Islam acknowledges it. The Prophet () said:
    ‘O Messenger of Allah! I have an orphan girl in my custody
    and two men have sought her for marriage. One is rich and
    the other is poor. We like the rich and she likes the poor…
    [To whom should we offer her in marriage?]’ The Messenger
    of Allah () said: ‘nothing is better for people who love one
    another than marriage.’ (Haakim)
    Islam encourages that one intercede for a pious man to marry
    a pious woman who love each other.
    Ibn Abbas () said that the husband of Bareerah, may Allah
    be pleased with her, -a slave named Mugheeth- used to walk
    behind her weeping, while his tears would be falling off his
    beard. The Prophet () said to Abbas:
    ‘O Abbas are you not amazed at how Mugheeth loves
    Bareerah and how she dislikes him!’
    He then said to her: ‘Why don’t you go back to him?’ She
    asked him: ‘Are you ordering me to do so?’ He () said: ‘I
    am only interceding on his behalf.’ She said: ‘I have no
    need for him.’ (Bukhari)
    Islam also encourages male guardians to propose for women
    under their guardianship to suitable, pious men, after taking
    their consent; for, the guardian is keen on acquiring what is best
    for those under him. Allah () says:
    And when he arrived at the water [a well] of Madyan he
    found there a group of men watering [their flocks], and
    besides them he found two women who were keeping
    back [their flocks]. He said: ‘What is the matter with you?’
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    29
    They said: ‘We cannot water [our flocks] until the
    shepherds take [their flocks]. And our father is a very old
    man. So he watered [their flocks] for them, then he returned
    back to the shade, and said: ‘My Rubb! Truly I am in need
    of whatever good that you bestow on me!’ Then there came
    to him one of the two women, walking shyly. She said:
    ‘Verily, my father calls you that he may reward you for
    having watered [our flocks] for us.’ So when he came to
    him and narrated the story, he said: ‘Fear not. You have
    escaped from the people who are dhalimun [wrongdoers].
    One of the two women said: ‘O my father! Hire him!
    Verily, the best of men for you to hire is the strong, and the
    trustworthy. He said: ‘I intend to marry one of these two
    daughters of mine to you, on condition that you serve me
    for eight years; but if you complete ten years, it will be [a
    favor] from you. But I intend not to place you under
    difficulty. You will find me, if Allah wills, of the
    righteous.’ He [Musa] said: ‘That is settled between me and
    you! Whichever of the two terms I fulfill, there will be no
    injustice to me, and Allah is a witness to all that we say!’
    (28:23-28)
    Salim b. Abdullah () said that he heard Abdullah b. Umar ()
    say that Umar b. al-Khattab () said:
    ‘When [my daughter] Hafsa b. Umar lost her husband
    Khunais b. Hudhaafah as-Sahmi16, I met Uthman b. Affan
    () and suggested that he marry Hafsa, saying: ‘If you wish, I
    will marry Hafsa b. Umar to you.’ On that, he said,’ I will
    think about it.’ I waited for a few days and then he said to
    16 He was one of the Companions of the Messenger of Allah () and
    had fought in the Battle of Badr and died in Madinah. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    30
    me, ‘I am of the opinion that I shall not marry at present.’
    Then I met Abu Bakr () and said, ‘If you wish, I will marry
    Hafsa b. Umar to you.’ He kept quiet and did not give me
    any reply and I became angrier with him than I was with
    Uthman (). Some days later, the Messenger of Allah ()
    demanded her hand in marriage and I married her to him.
    Later on, Abu Bakr () met me and said: ‘Perhaps you were
    angry with me when you offered me Hafsa for marriage and
    I gave no reply to you?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Abu Bakr () said,
    ‘Nothing prevented me from accepting your offer except that
    the Messenger of Allah () had referred to the issue of
    Hafsa; and I did not want to disclose the secret of the
    Messenger of Allah () but had he [i.e. the Prophet ] given
    her up, I would surely have accepted her.’ (Bukhari)
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    31
    3rd Step: Marriage Contract, Dowry and Wedding Feast
    The Pillars and Preconditions of Marriage:
  18. Both parties accept and approve of the marriage. The Prophet
    () said:
    ‘The widowed woman or divorcee is not to be married
    unless she approves, and the virgin is not to be married
    until her permission is sought.’ The Companions () said:
    ‘O Messenger of Allah () how is her permission sought?’
    He said: ‘If she remains silent.’ (Bukhari)
    If a woman is forced into marrying someone, she has the right
    to seek annulment of that marriage. Khansaa b. Khidam alAnsaariyah told the Prophet () that her father forced her to
    marry someone, while she disliked him, so the Prophet ()
    annulled the marriage.’ (Bukhari)
    These precautionary measures are taken so that the family
    would not fall apart and to prevent evil from spreading in
    society [i.e. cheating on the other spouse] which results when
    one of the spouses dislikes the other.
  19. The guardian is a prerequisite for the validity of marriage.
    The Prophet () said:
    ‘No marriage is valid unless one has a guardian and two
    trustworthy witnesses [to attest the marriage]. If marriage is
    completed without these [i.e. guardian or witnesses] it is a
    false marriage, and if they dispute with one another, then
    the ruler is the guardian for the [woman] who has no
    guardian.’ (Ibn Hibban)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    32
    This measure is taken so that the relationship of the kith and
    kin would not be severed. Usually, the guardian is more
    knowledgeable and keen to benefit those under his care. He
    would choose a suitable person who would keep her happy.
    In the case the woman has no male guardian or her family
    prevented her from marrying a suitable person, the ruler
    becomes her guardian. The Prophet () said: ‘The ruler is the
    guardian for the [woman] who has no guardian.’
    Ibn Abbas () said on the exegesis of the ayah:
    O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women
    against their will; and you should not treat them with
    harshness, that you may take away part of the dowry you
    have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual
    intercourse; and live with them honorably. If you dislike
    them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings
    through it a great deal of good. (4:19)
    In the Ignorance Era, when a man died, his guardians were
    the rightful heirs of his wife; whoever of them wanted to marry
    her would marry her, or they would not allow her to get
    married, so Allah revealed this ayah.
  20. When both parties agree, it becomes a duty upon the
    husband to give his spouse her due dowry. Allah () says:
    And give to the women [whom you marry] their dowry
    with a good heart; but if they of their own good pleasure,
    remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear
    of any harm [as Allah has made it lawful]. (4:4)
    The Mahr (dowry) should be reasonable. The Prophet () said:
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    33
    ‘A sign of woman’s barakah [i.e. goodness], is ease in her
    engagement, dowry and labor [i.e. child birth]. (Haakim)
    Umar b. al-Khattab (), the second Caliph, said:
    ‘Do not make the dowry [of a woman] expensive. Were it
    praiseworthy [in this life] or a means of piety, the Messenger
    of Allah () would have done so. He did not give any of his
    wives or take for his daughters more than twelve Oqiyah17.’
    (Tirmidthi, Abu Dawood & Ibn Majah)
    If any conditions were placed in the marriage contract, they
    must be fulfilled and the husband or wife must abide by them.
    The Prophet () said:
    ‘The most rightful conditions one must fulfill are those
    that relate to marriage.’ (Bukhari)
    In order for happiness to spread, one must invite family and
    friends to a wedding banquet. Its purpose is to publicize the
    marriage.
    Anas b. Malik () said that Abdurrahman b. Auf () came
    from Makkah to Madinah and the Prophet () made a bond of
    brotherhood between him and Sa’d b. ar-Rabi al-Ansari. AlAnsari had two wives, so he suggested that Abdurrahman take
    half, from his wives and property. Abdurrahman replied: ‘May
    Allah bless you with your wives and property. Kindly show me
    the market.’ So Abdurrahman went to the market and gained
    (in bargains) some dried yoghurt and some butter. After a few
    days the Prophet () saw Abdurrahman with some yellow
    stains on his clothes and asked him, ‘What is that O
    Abdurrahman?’ He replied: ‘I have married a woman from the
    17 One ‘Oqiyah’ is equivalent to 40 silver Dirham; therefore, 12 Oqiyah
    are equal to 480 (silver) Dirham. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    34
    Ansar.’ The Prophet () asked, ‘How much Mahr (i.e. dowry)
    did you give her?’ He replied: ‘The weight of one date stone of
    gold.’ The Prophet () said:
    ‘Offer a walimah [wedding banquet] even with one sheep.’
    (Bukhari)
    One should not be wasteful and extravagant in this banquet.
    Allah () says:
    Verily the wasteful are brothers of the devils, and the
    devil is ever ungrateful to his Rubb. (17:27)
    It is a must upon the person who is invited to attend the
    banquet, unless he has a valid reason. The Prophet () said:
    ‘Whoever is invited to a wedding banquet, should attend.’
    (Bukhari)
    The guests who attend the wedding banquet should supplicate
    for their hosts, as in the Hadeeth of the Prophet ():
    ُم
    َه
    ْتـ
    َقـ
    ز
    َ
    ْ فيما ر
    م
    ُ
    ُ ِ م وبارْك َ له
    ْه
    ْ َحم
    ْ وار
    م
    ُ
    ْ َ له
    ِر
    ْ اللهم اغف
    Allaahummaghfir lahum warhamhom wa baarik lahom feemaa
    razaqtahom
    ‘O Allah, forgive them, and have mercy on them, and bless
    them in that which You have provided them.’ (Ibn Hibban)
    The guests should also supplicate Allah for both the spouses
    saying:
    ََ وبارك َ َك االله لَ ُ رَك َ با
    َ يك ْعل
    َع َوجم
    بـ
    ْ
    يـ
    َ ن ُكما في َ
    ْخ
    ير
    Baarakal-laahu laka wa baaraka alaika wa jama’a bainakoma fee khair
    ‘May Allah bless you both and gather you in goodness.’
    (Haakim)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    35
    Using the tambourine (duff) and singing innocent songs which
    do not excite a person sexually during this occasion are lawful
    for women in order to publicize the marriage.
    The Prophet () said to A’ishah () who had prepared a lady
    for a man from the Ansaar as his bride:
    ‘O A’ishah! Weren’t you amused [during the marriage
    ceremony] as the Ansaar like amusement.’ (Bukhari)
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    36
    Etiquettes of the Wedding Night
    When the groom and bride meet for the first time, the
    bridegroom is advised to present himself in a pleasant manner,
    and talk sweetly to the bride in order to start a good
    relationship and to stop uneasiness and nervousness.
    Asmaa bint Yazeed b. as-Sakan, may Allah be pleased
    with her, said: ‘I prepared A’ishah for the Messenger
    of Allah () and then called him; he () came and sat
    beside her. A jug of milk was brought to him, which
    he drank from, and gave A’ishah. She lowered her
    head, and was embarrassed. Asmaa’ said: ‘I
    reproached her and said to her: “Take it from the hand
    of the Prophet ()!” She then took it and drank from
    it. The Prophet () then said to her, give it to your
    companion.’ Asmaa said, I said: ‘O Messenger of
    Allah, take it yourself, drink from it, and then give it
    to me with your hand.’ He took it and drank from it,
    and then gave it to me.’ I sat, and moved the utensil
    around so that I would drink from the same spot the
    Prophet () drank from. He then said: ‘Give it to
    them.’ [i.e. the other women that were with me] They
    said: ‘We do not fancy it!’ The Prophet () said: ‘Do
    not gather between hunger and lies!’ (Ibn Majah)
    It is also an act of Sunnah for the groom to place his hand on
    the forelocks of the bride and supplicate Allah, as in the
    Hadith:
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    37
    ُ
    الله
    ّ
    ِ
    ني أَ ْ م إ
    َ سأَلُ َك ْ ِّ
    َ يرها ْخ
    وخ
    َ ْت عليه وأَ ُ ير ما ْ
    ِل
    ِ ُ جب
    ُ ب
    ِ َك عوذ
    رها َوش ْم
    ر ما ّ ن َشِّ
    ِلت عليه ُ
    جب
    Allahumma innee as’aluka khairaha wa khair ma jobelat alaihi wa
    a’oothu beka min sharrehaa wa sharree ma jobelat alaihi
    ‘O Allah! I seek of you [to grant me] the best of this woman
    and the best of her characteristics. O Allah! I seek refuge
    with you to protect me against all the evils of this woman
    and her evil characteristics.’ (Bukhari)
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    38
    Foreplay between spouses
    Islam regards the satisfaction of sexual desire a natural
    instinct which should be fulfilled in an appropriate manner
    following certain regulations. The aim of marriage is that both
    spouses find comfort and spiritual stability in each other.
    Allah () says:
    And of His signs is that He created for you wives from
    among yourselves, so that you may find tranquility in
    them, and He engenders love and mercy between you.
    Indeed in that are signs for a people who reflect. (30:21)
    Marriage is encouraged in Islam, Jabir b. Abdullah () said:
    ‘My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a
    matron. The Messenger of Allah () said:
    ‘O Jabir! Have you just got married?’ I said: ‘Yes.’ He said:
    ‘A virgin or a matron?’ I replied: ‘A matron.’ He said: ‘Why
    not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with
    you, and you might amuse her and she amuses you.’ I said:
    ‘Abdullah [my father] died and left girls, and I dislike
    marrying a girl like them, so I married a lady (matron) so
    that she may look after them.’ On that he said: ‘May Allah
    bless you.’ (Bukhari)
    Foreplay with the spouse is an important matter, for this
    increases the love, care and concern each has for the other. The
    Messenger of Allah () said:
    ‘Everything besides the remembrance of Allah is an
    amusement and play [i.e. futile] except for four things: A
    man’s sporting with his wife, training his horse, target
    practicing, and learning swimming.’ (Saheeh al-Jami as-Saghir)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    39
    Each spouse should groom himself/herself for the other. They
    should also clean themselves hygienically, wear pleasant scents,
    and appear in good attire. This increases one’s love for the
    other. The Prophet () said:
    ‘Allah is beautiful and loves beauty.’ (Muslim)
    Nafi’, may Allah have mercy on him, said that Abdullah b.
    Umar () used to perfume himself with pure Ood and Ood
    mixed with camphor, and say: ‘This is how the Prophet ()
    perfumed himself.’ (Muslim)
    A’ishah () said: ‘I used to perfume the Prophet () with the
    best perfumes he brought, and see its shine on his head and
    beard.’ (Bukhari)
    Ibn Abbas () said: ‘I beautify myself for my wife, as she
    beautifies herself for me. I do not demand from her all my
    rights, for I would have to give her all her rights, for Allah ()
    says:
    And they (women) have rights [over their husbands (as
    regards living expenses)] similar [to those of their husbands
    (as regards obedience and respect)] over them. (2:228)
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    40
    Types of Foreplay between spouses
    a. On the Bed
    Each spouse is allowed to undress completely in front of the
    other, and they are allowed to enjoy looking at each other. Bahz
    b. Hakeem reported that his father said that his grandfather ()
    said:
    ‘O Messenger of Allah! To what extent should we cover
    our private parts?’ The Messenger of Allah () said:
    ‘Completely cover your private parts18 except from your
    spouse or your slave girl.’ He then asked the Prophet ():
    ‘What if people are gathered in one place?’ He said: ‘If you
    can prevent anyone from looking at her, then do so.’ I then
    asked: O Messenger of Allah () if one of us is alone?’ He
    said: ‘One should be ashamed of Allah more than he is of
    people.’ (Abu Dawood)
    Both spouses can enjoy each other the way they like, as long
    as the husband approaches the wife in the appropriate place
    (i.e. the vagina).
    Ibn Abbas () said that Umar b. al-Khattab () came to the
    Prophet () and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I am destroyed!’
    The Messenger of Allah () said: ‘What has destroyed you?’ He
    said: ‘I approached my wife in a different manner last night.’19
    The Messenger of Allah () did not say anything to him, and
    Allah revealed:
    Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or
    how you will. (2:223)
    18 At all times. (AM)
    19 i.e. he approached his wife from behind, but in the vagina. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    41
    The Prophet () said:
    ‘Approach your wives in any manner as long as it is in the
    vagina, and she is not in her menses.’ (Tirmidthi)
    This Hadeeth does not mean that the husband should stay
    away from his wife, and abstain eating or drinking with her if
    she is menstruating. A’ishah () said:
    ‘While I was in my menstrual period, I drank from a cup,
    and the Prophet () drank from the same spot I drunk from
    and I ate meat from a bone, and the Prophet ate from the
    same place (I ate from).’
    One may enjoy his wife while she is in her menstrual period,
    but should avoid having intercourse with her. Anas b. Malik
    () said: ‘When a Jewess was in her menstrual period; (the
    Jews) would not eat or drink with her, and they would not
    approach her while they were in their houses.’ The
    Companions () asked the Prophet () about this, and Allah
    revealed:
    Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or
    how you will, and send [good deeds, (or ask Allah to bestow
    upon you pious offspring)] for your own selves beforehand.
    And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him [in the
    Hereafter], and give good tidings to the believers. (2:223)
    The Prophet  said:
    ‘Enjoy your wives, but do not have intercourse.’ (Muslim)
    When the Jews heard this, they said: ‘This man wants to differ
    with us in every matter!’
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    42
    Usaid b. Hudair and Abbaad b. Bishr informed the Prophet ()
    of what the Jews had said, and said: ‘Shall we not have
    intercourse with our wives while they are menstruating?’
    (Upon hearing that) the Prophet () was angry, and the two
    Companions left. Someone brought some milk as a gift for the
    Prophet () and he called them back, so that the Companions
    () would not think that he was angry with them.’
    (Muslim & Abu Dawood)
    Jabir () said, the Jews said: ‘If a man approaches his wife
    from behind (but in the vagina) the child would be born
    cross-eyed.’ So Allah () revealed the following verse:
    Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or
    how you will. (2:223)
    Jabir () then said: ‘If the man wishes he may approach his
    wife, from any way, as long as he approaches her in the
    vagina.’ (Muslim)
    It is a Sunnah practice to mention the name of Allah, when a
    man approaches his wife, and to say the supplication which has
    been reported in the Hadeeth:
    ‘If someone wants to approach his wife, and says:
    ِ
    ُ سم االله اللّ ْ ب
    ه
    َ
    َ م
    ِّ
    ْجن
    بـ
    َ ْ ن َّ ا الش َ
    َ يط
    ِّ
    ْ ْب ان وجن
    الش
    َ َ طان يّ
    ما ر
    َ
    ْقـ
    َز
    تـ
    َ
    نا
    ‘Bismillah, Allaahumma jannibnash-shaitan wa jannib ashShaitan ma razaqtana.’
    ‘I begin with the name of Allah…O Allah ward away Satan
    from us, and from that which You provide us with.’
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    43
    If Allah wills that a child be born, Shaitan would never
    harm him.’ (Bukhari)
    He should also engage in foreplay with her, by kissing and
    touching her, to make her sexually aroused. A husband must
    wait for his wife to satisfy her sexual desire. Anas () said that
    the Messenger of Allah () said:
    ‘If a husband has an intercourse with his wife he must be
    truthful with her. If he got sexually satisfied before her,
    then he should wait for her to get her satisfaction.’
    (Abu Ya’la)
    Umar b. Abdul-Aziz reported that the Prophet () said:
    ‘Do not have intercourse with your wife right away. Wait
    until she is as sexually aroused as you are.’ The man asked:
    O Messenger of Allah! What should I do [in order to achieve
    that?] He () replied: ‘Kiss her, touch her, and try to arouse
    her. If you notice that is she is as ready [sexually] as you
    are, then engage in the intercourse.’ (Al-Mughni)
    In addition, it is also an act of Sunnah to perform a complete
    ablution by taking a full bath, or a partial ablution, as one does
    to offer a prayer, if the husband desires to have another
    intercourse with her. The Prophet () said:
    ‘If a man has an intercourse with his wife, and thereafter
    wants to approach her again, let him perform ablution.’
    (Muslim)
    This practice is purer, more hygienic and enables the person
    to have stronger sexual strength and desire.
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    44
    b. When bathing
    Foreplay with one’s wife is not confined to the bed. A husband
    may sport with his wife at any time, if privacy for both is
    secured and maintained.
    A’ishah () said:
    ‘The Messenger of Allah () and I bathed from the same
    pot of water. He () rushed to take the water and I said to
    him, “Leave some for me! Leave some for me!” (Muslim)
    c. In the house
    A’ishah () was asked:
    ‘What did the Messenger of Allah () do upon entering his
    home?’ She said: ‘He used the Siwak, possibly to purify his
    mouth to kiss and hug his family.’
    A’ishah () said:
    ‘The Messenger of Allah () kissed one of his wives and
    went to the Masjid to perform his prayers, and he did not
    make ablution.’ (Ahmed)
    d. Outside the house
    As we pointed out earlier, fun with the wife is permitted at all
    times and places if full privacy is ensured. Nobody must see a
    husband and wife having fun with each other in public.
    A’ishah () said:
    ‘While I was young, before I put much weight on, the
    Messenger of Allah () and I were on a trip. He asked his
    Companions () to go ahead of him and asked me to race
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    45
    with him. I beat him in that race. Thereafter the Messenger
    of Allah () did not ask me to race with him. Later on, after
    I had put on weight and forgotten that I had beaten him in
    a race, he asked his Companions, while I was traveling with
    him to go ahead of him. He then asked me to race with him,
    I said: “O Messenger of Allah! How can I race with you and
    I have put on weight?” He () said: “You will do it.” We
    raced and he beat me. He () said: “O A’ishah this win [of
    mine] by that win [of yours] in the race!”.’
    (As-Silsilah as-Saheehah)
    It is absolutely unlawful to reveal marital secrets or to talk
    about what takes place between a husband and his wife in
    private. The Prophet () said:
    ‘The greatest betrayal on the Day of Resurrection is that of
    a man who approaches his wife and she approaches
    him…and he fulfills his desire, and then tells people what
    he did with her.’ (Muslim)
    In order for matrimonial life to be maintained, and the family
    to be protected, Islam has designated certain rights each spouse
    owes to the other.
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    46
    The Rights of the wife over the husband
    It is sufficient here to list some verses from the Qur’an and
    Prophetic traditions that clarify the rights of the wife in Islam.
  21. Allah () says:
    And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may
    be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a
    great deal of good. (4:19)
  22. Allah () says:
    And they (women) have rights [over their husbands (as
    regards living expenses)] similar to those [of their husbands
    (as regards obedience and respect)] over them to what is
    reasonable, but men have a degree [of responsibility] over
    them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. (2:228)
  23. The Prophet () said:
    ‘The best of you are the best to his family.’ (Ibn Majah)
  24. Hakeem b. Mu’awiyah al-Qushairi said that his father said:
    ‘O Messenger of Allah, what is the right of one of our
    wives over us?’ He said: ‘To feed and clothe her as one
    feeds and clothes himself. Do not slap her on the face, or
    say evil and nasty things to her. He should only forsake
    her in the bed [and not send her away to a separate house].’
    (Abu Dawood)
  25. The Prophet () said:
    ‘The most complete believers are the best mannered, and
    the best of you are the best to his family.’ (Ibn Hibban)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    47
  26. The Prophet () said:
    ‘Fear Allah, and be mindful of Him concerning women.
    You have taken them with the right [bestowed upon you]
    from Allah, and approached them with the Words of
    Allah.20 She should not allow anyone you dislike to enter
    your house whether male or female, and if they do this,
    then strike them [lightly, without harming them]. And they
    (women) have rights [over their husbands (as regards living
    expenses)] similar to those [of their husbands (as regards
    obedience and respect)] over them to what is reasonable.’
    (Muslim)
  27. The Prophet () said:
    ‘Let a believer not completely hate a believing woman, for
    if he hates a trait of her he might like another one [in her].’
    (Muslim)
    Indeed perfection belongs to Allah alone.
    
    20 The Words of Allah refers to the verse in which Allah () says:
    …then marry of women as may be agreeable to you, two, or
    three, or four. (4:3) (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    48
    The Rights of the husband over the wife
  28. Allah says about the pious wives:
    And the righteous women are the truly devout ones [to
    Allah and to their husbands], who guard in the husband’s
    absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity,
    their husband’s property). (4:34)
  29. A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: I asked the
    Messenger of Allah ():
    ‘Whose right is greatest upon the woman?’ He said: ‘Her
    husband’s right.’ I then asked: ‘Whose right is greatest upon
    the man?’ He said: ‘His mother’s.’ (Haakim)
  30. Husain b. Mehsen said my paternal aunt told me:
    I went to the Messenger of Allah () asking him about a
    certain matter. Thereafter he () asked me: ‘Do you have a
    husband?’ I replied affirmatively. He () asked: ‘How do you
    treat him?’ I replied: ‘I do my best serving him, until I
    cannot.’ He () said: ‘Take care of him, for he is either your
    [means to] Jannah (Heavenly Abode) or the Fire’. (Haakim)
  31. The Prophet () said:
    ‘If a woman [wife] performs her five daily prayers,
    observes the fast of the month of Ramadan, is chaste and
    safeguards herself, and obeys her husband, she would be
    given the choice to enter Jannah through any of its gates.’
    (Ibn Hibban)
  32. Mu’aadh b. Jabal () said that he went to Shaam and saw the
    Christians prostrating to their priests and ministers. He saw the
    Jews prostrating to their rabbis and scholars. He asked them,
    ‘why do you do this?’ they said: ‘this is the greeting due to the
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    49
    Prophets.’ He said: ‘our prophet is more righteous of this
    honor!’ The Prophet () then said:
    ‘They have forged lies against their prophets as they
    distorted their books; if I were to order anyone to prostrate
    to anyone, I would have asked the woman to prostrate to
    her husband, due to the great right she owes him. A
    woman would not taste the sweetness of Iman unless she
    fulfills the right of her husband.’ (Haakim)
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    50
    Divorce in Islam
    Islam considers marriage a blessed ritual, and for this reason it
    is keen to strengthen the relationship between husband and
    wife. Allah describes the marriage contract as ‘a strong and firm
    covenant’. He () says:
    And how could you take it away after you have given
    yourselves to one another, and she has received a strong
    and firm covenant from you? (4:21)
    The words of the Prophet () also prove this point. He said:
    ‘He is not considered among us, he who turns a woman or
    a slave girl against her husband or master.’ (Saheeh al-Jami asSaghir)
    Although marriage is blessed and sacred in Islam, divorce has
    been deemed lawful, yet it is as the Prophet () described:
    ‘The most hated lawful thing to Allah is divorce.’ (Haakim)21
    When marital relations cannot continue, divorce is an
    alternative, for it prevents evils from spreading in the
    community, such as a husband’s cheating on his wife and vice
    versa. It prevents alteration of lineage, disruption of the
    inheritance, and spread of evil in society. Divorce is confined
    within its limits, so that it cannot be abused by those who have
    little intellect. The scholars have clarified that divorce is subject
    to the following rulings:
    21 This Hadeeth is weak. Allah says: And if they decide upon
    divorce, then Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower. (2:227). It is
    understood from this verse that one should resort to divorce only
    when needed. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    51
  33. Waajib (i.e. compulsory): It is compulsory in the following
    cases:
    a. When the two judges (one from the wife’s family and one
    from the husband’s family) decide that they should separate.
    Allah () says:
    And if you fear that a breach might occur between a
    [married] couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people
    and an arbiter from among her people; if they both want to
    set things aright, Allah will bring about their reconciliation.
    Behold, Allah is indeed All-Knowing, Well-Acquainted
    with all things. (4:35)
    b. When the wife does not adhere to the Islamic teachings, or is
    not chaste. This also applies to the husband, for the wife should
    seek separation from her husband if he does not adhere to the
    Islamic teachings or is not chaste.
    c. If the husband takes an oath not to have sexual relation with
    his wife, and he did not approach her for more than four
    months. Allah () says:
    Those who take an oath that they will not approach their
    wives shall have four months of grace; and if they go back
    [on their oath] – verily Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most
    Merciful. (2:226)
    Ibn Umar () said: ‘If the period expires, then the husband has
    either to retain his wife in a good manner or to divorce her as
    Allah has ordered.’ (Bukhari)
  34. Makrooh (i.e. blameworthy/dispraised): This is the case
    when the person divorces his wife without any reason. This is
    what Iblees tries to do, may Allah curse him. The Prophet ()
    said:
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    52
    ‘Iblis (Satan) places his throne on water and sends his
    troops. The closest [of his troops to him] is the one who
    causes trial and tempts man. As such, Satan brings that
    one closer to him [in honor and respect for what he did].
    One of the members of Satan’s troops would come
    forward and report what [evil] he did. Satan would
    comment: ‘You did not do anything!’ Then another one of
    his troops would come forward and report: “I did not
    leave that man [a husband] until I separated him from his
    wife.” Satan would bring him closer to him [in honor and
    respect] saying: “Yes indeed. It is you (who deserves the
    honor).’ (Muslim)
  35. Mubaah (i.e. lawful): It is lawful when the wife is of bad
    character, although one should be patient with her if he has a
    child from her.
  36. Haram (i.e. prohibited): If the husband divorces his wife
    during her menses or when she is pure, after having
    intercourse with her22. Allah () says:
    O Prophet ()! When you divorce women, divorce them
    with a view to the waiting-period appointed for them, and
    reckon the period [carefully], and fear Allah your Rubb.
    (65:1)
    Ibn Umar () divorced his wife while she was in her menses,
    so Umar () asked the Messenger () about it, and he () said:
    ‘Order him (your son) to take her back and keep her till
    she is pure [from her menses] and then to wait till she gets
    her next period and becomes pure once again, whereupon,
    if he wishes to keep her, he can do so, and if he wishes to
    22 It is also prohibited for a man to divorce his wife by uttering three
    divorces in one sitting. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    53
    divorce her he can divorce her before having sexual
    intercourse with her; and that is the iddah (prescribed
    period) which Allah has fixed for the women meant to be
    divorced.’ (Bukhari)
    
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    Khul’23 in Islam
    If marital life is not built on love, harmony and good
    companionship between husband and wife, it would become a
    misery and ruin. In this case, Islam has instructed that the
    spouses bear patiently. Allah () says:
    And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may
    be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a
    great deal of good. (4:19)
    If the condition becomes unbearable, and the husband cannot
    stand his wife, he may divorce her; but, if the wife cannot bear
    her husband, it is lawful for her to ask for Khul’ (instant
    divorce). In this case, she must return to him the Mahr (dowry)
    she took, at which, the marital relation ends. This is a sign of
    complete justice in Islam; the husband gave the Mahr (dowry)
    to his wife, and took care of all marital costs. Allah () says:
    And it is not lawful for you [men] to take back [from your
    wives] any of your Mahr (dowry) which you have given
    them, except when both parties fear that they would be
    unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. Then if you
    fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained
    by Allah, then there shall be no sin upon either of them if
    she gives back [the Mahr or a part of it] to her husband in
    order to free herself [i.e. through al-Khul’ (instant divorce)].
    (2:229)
    Ibn Abbas () narrated that the wife of Thabit b. Qais came to
    the Prophet () and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I do not blame
    23 Khul’ is the dissolution of the marriage at the wife’s instance; it is
    also referred to as ‘instant’ divorce. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    55
    Thabit for defects in his character or his Deen, but I, being a
    Muslim, dislike behaving in an un-Islamic manner (if I remain
    with him).” On that the Messenger of Allah () said to her: ‘Will
    you give back the garden which your husband has given you
    [as Mahr]?’ She said: ‘Yes.’ Then the Prophet () said to Thabit,
    ‘O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her at once.’
    (Bukhari)
    The goal of Islam in this is to safeguard the honor of people,
    and society from all evils. If a woman stays with a man she does
    not want (or cannot bear) or if a man stays with a woman he
    does not want, this may lead one of them to the unlawful,
    especially if they do not have a strong Islamic sense to prevent
    them from doing the unlawful. Allah () says:
    But if they separate, Allah will provide for each of them
    out of His abundance. And Allah is ever All-Sufficient for
    His creatures’ needs, All-Wise. (4:130)
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
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    Outcome of Sexual Freedom
    Islam has prohibited fornication, and it is considered among
    the gravest sins. Islam has also forbidden all things that lead to
    it. Sayyid Qutb, may Allah have mercy on him, said24:
    ‘Islam seeks to eliminate pure animalistic sexual behavior
    where one is unable to differentiate between one
    individual and another. It seeks to establish a lasting
    family, not a relationship which ends after the initial sexual
    encounter. It also seeks to establish relationships between
    both sexes on account of human feelings and emotions; a
    relationship in which the spouses’ hearts, feelings and
    bodies come together. They live their lives together and
    hold similar hopes, and bear similar pains, and seek out a
    future together. In this atmosphere, the new generation is
    raised, under the guardianship of both parents, and in an
    appropriate manner.
    In relation to this, there is a grave punishment for
    fornication in Islam, and it is described as an animalistic
    relapse, which effaces all these meanings, and goals
    [mentioned above] and transforms a human into an
    animal… he would not differentiate between one woman
    and another, nor would a woman differentiate between one
    man and another. All a person hopes for is to fulfill his
    sexual desire. Even if he does differentiate between one and
    another, no goodness would result from this relation, and
    he may not be trusted or charged with the betterment of his
    (nation); no offspring or true emotions would result. True
    emotions have a lasting effect; this is the difference
    24 Fee Dhilaal al-Qur’an (In the Shade of the Qur’an)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    57
    between lusts, passions and true emotions. Many do not
    differentiate between these two things, and are confused in
    this regard. What many consider emotion is actually an
    animalistic passion! Islam does not bar one from expressing
    his natural emotions nor regard them as lowly behavior.
    Islam only regulates, purifies and elevates it from
    animalistic lusts. Fornication, and in particular, harlotry
    holds no such values, and is very distant from all feelings,
    emotions and ethical manners and sense of belonging and
    relationship. Islam regards harlotry as the filthiest act in a
    human society. This practice would degrade man and
    equate him with an animal. In fact, there are many animals
    that live a decent and organized social life, far from the
    problems that arise from harlotry in some societies.’
    We will list some of the problems and evils that result from
    the spread of fornication within a society; and of these evils are
    the following:
  37. Spread of fatal disease that not only harms the individual,
    rather, the entire society. Allah () says:
    And come not near to unlawful sex25. Verily it is a great
    sin, and an evil way [that leads one to Hell, unless Allah
    forgives him]. (17:32)
    The Messenger of Allah () said:
    ‘O Muhajireen I seek refuge with Allah that you witness or
    are tried with five things.
    25 The Arabic word for ‘unlawful sex’ is ‘zina’. It signifies all sexual
    intercourse between a man and a woman who are not husband and
    wife; therefore, it denotes both ‘adultery’ and ‘fornication’. (AM)
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    58
    Unlawful sex does not become apparent among a people,
    except sicknesses and diseases which were not known
    previously spread [among them].
    A people would not cheat in selling weighed goods, except
    that they would be punished with famine and drought,
    tightness in provisions, and a ruler who oppresses them.
    A people would not prevent giving out Zakah, except they
    would be prevented rain; and had it not been for the
    animals they would not have received rain.
    A people would not break the pledge of Allah and his
    Messenger () except that their outside enemies would
    gain the upper hand over them, and take from them some
    of what they previously had controlled.
    If the rulers do not rule by the Book of Allah their efforts
    would be spent fighting and quarrelling with each other.
    (Haakim)
    Doing evil takes away one’s honor and pride, and transforms
    him into an animal whose goal is to fulfill his desires. He
    inherits poverty, for he spends his money to fulfill his illegal
    lusts and desires. It causes one to feel great remorse in this life,
    and makes him liable for punishment in Hell-Fire. It also
    shortens one’s life, for doing these evils are unhealthy and
    would cause sicknesses in one’s body, which would (possibly)
    lead to his death.
  38. Illegitimate children proliferate in society. Such children are
    deprived of the normal care and custody of real loving parents.
    As a result, these children lack the proper guidance and
    direction in their lives. No one, other than the real parents, can
    offer an honest, truthful, and meaningful guidance to a child;
    consequently, these children would grow up holding the rest of
    society in contempt. Anna Freud, in her book Children without
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    59
    Families, comments on the psychological disorders that cannot
    be corrected by a psychiatric specialist except with great
    difficulties.
  39. Psychological disorders: Unlawful sexual relationships lead
    to many psychological diseases and disorders. People who
    practice and maintain such unlawful relationships develop
    unease, lack of personal happiness and satisfaction, inferiority
    complex, and guilt. Allah () says:
    And among His signs is this, that He created for you
    wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in
    them, and He has put between you affection and mercy.
    Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.
    (30:21)
  40. Sexual confusion leads to moral confusion in society. It is a
    well-established fact that money easily lures people to do evil.
    Money also enables a person to get all that he likes in terms of
    pleasures and satisfaction. Thus, if those who are practicing
    unlawful pleasures lack the needed funds, they may commit
    any type of crime to satisfy their needs. Such individuals may
    steal, cheat, molest, rape, lie, deceive, or bribe to get what they
    want. They do not care where or how they get the needed
    funds, even if this is on the account of others.
  41. The punishment of Allah descends upon communities
    wherein adultery and fornication are prevalent. The Prophet
    () said:
    ‘My Ummah will be in a [continuous] state of good affairs
    as long as illegitimate children do not become apparent
    within society. If this happens, the punishment of Allah
    would be imminent.’ (Ahmed & Saheeh at-Targhib wat-Tarhib)
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
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    Conclusion
    We have presented in this book some points regarding the
    Islamic perspective on sex. We hope this booklet will aid you in
    understanding this important aspect of human life, and the
    Islamic method in regulating and elevating it, such that it is
    regarded as an act of worship, by which a Muslim receives
    reward. Furthermore, we hope that this book will lead one to
    learning more about Islam which has a reference to everything
    a Muslim does in his private and public life. If a Muslim
    seriously seeks the reward of Allah, his rewards would not end
    with his death; he receives reward even after his death. The
    Prophet () said:
    ‘When the son of Adam dies, his deeds cease except from
    three sources; continuous charity, beneficial knowledge
    [he left] or a pious child who supplicates Allah for him.’
    (Muslim)
    The Prophet () said:
    ‘Whoever calls people to guidance, he receives reward
    similar to the rewards of those who follow it, while their
    rewards would not diminish. Whoever calls people to an
    evil, he receives the sin of it and sin similar to those who
    follow him in that evil, while their sins would not
    diminish.’ (Muslim)
    An evidence which proves that Islam has a reference to
    everything no matter how minute it may seem, as observed
    from the Hadeeth of Salman (), who said:
    The polytheists said to us, ‘I see that your companion [i.e. the
    Messenger of Allah ] has even taught you how to relieve
    yourselves!’ Salman said: ‘Yes! Of course, he forbids that one
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    61
    of us use his right hand to purify himself, and that we face
    the Qiblah while doing so. He also forbids us to use bones or
    dung to purify ourselves. He also said: ‘Let not one of you
    purify himself with less than three stones.’ (Muslim)
    Dr. Hopkins, the Professor of Philosophy in Harvard
    University, in his book “The Spirit of International Policy”:
    ‘The progress and development of the Islamic countries is
    not by following the Western styles, which claim that
    religion has no say over the daily life of the individual, the
    laws and the political system. Man must find in the
    religion a source for growth and progress. At times, some
    people wonder whether Islam is capable of generating new
    ideas and issue independent rulings that coincide with the
    requirements of the modern life. The response to this is:
    “Yes. Islam is internally ready to grow, or rather one may
    say, Islam is better than many other similar systems in its
    ability to develop. Nevertheless, the difficulty is not in the
    ability of the religion of Islam because of the lack of
    means, but rather because of the lack of inclination and
    desire to use them. I do feel that I can rightly decide that
    Islam possesses all the necessary requirements for
    success”.’
    What a great Deen Islam is! It gives guidance to man through
    every stage in his life, and organizes all his affairs! A Deen with
    such qualities should be upheld and strictly adhered to by all
    Muslims. They should call people to it, so that they can enjoy
    their lives.
    Non-Muslims should study Islam while leaving aside all
    preconceived notions. They should be informed of its merits
    and virtues, and beautiful aspects. Islam is the key to goodness
    and rids society of all evils. It contains all the answers to
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    62
    problems mankind faces today. The problem is that many
    Muslims do not apply or adhere to its teachings due to the fact
    that they follow their whims and desires, or due to personal
    advantages, wherein one tries to gain materialistically even if it
    means cheating others.
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    € ÷à  ;„ ’` ;Å ⁄ • ;]fiËe›;Ì ÷¡ ;€ ÷à  ;! \;Ì ÷ê Â
    All Praise is due to Allah alone, the Rubb of the Worlds
    And may Allah exalt the mention of His Prophet and his household and
    render him safe from every derogatory thing
    If you would like to receive more information about Islam,
    do not hesitate to contact us:
    1) Email:
    [email protected]
    2) You may also visit the following sites:
    http://www.islamland.org http://www.sultan.org
    http://www.daralmadinah.com www.islam-guide.com
    http://www.islamhouse.com www.islamtoday.com
    http://www.islamworld.net www.islamreligion.com
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    63
    Glossary
  42. Aqeedah: Creed.
  43. Deen: a way of life, which is both private and public. It
    is an inclusive term meaning: acts of worship, political
    practice, and a detailed code of conduct, including
    hygiene or etiquette matters.
    ٣. Fitnah: Trial, strife and tribulation.
    ٤. Hadeeth: Prophetic Tradition.
    ٥. Hukm: Ruling.
    ٦. Iman: Belief.
    ٧. Jannah: This is the Heavenly Abode or Heavenly Gardens
    which Allah grants the pious slaves in the Hereafter. It is
    mistranslated as ‘Paradise’.
    ٨. Kufr: Disbelief.
    ٩. Nafl: Supererogatory acts of worship.
    1٠. Rubb: means the Creator, the Fashioner, the Provider,
    the One upon Whom all creatures depend for their means
    of subsistence, and the One Who gives life and causes
    death.
  44. Shaitan: Satan.
  45. Shari’ah: Islamic Jurisprudential Law.
  46. Shirk: Associating partners with Allah.
  47. Sunnah: Has more than one meaning. It may refer to:
    a. Prophetic Traditions.
    b. Rulings; i.e. it would then mean that the act is
    endorsed by the Sunnah.
  48. Taqwah: Piety.
  49. Ummah: Nation.
    
    Islamic Perspective on Sex______________________________
    64
    Index
  50. Terminology used in this Book 2
  51. Introduction 3
  52. Islamic Perspective on Sex 9
  53. Steps Islam has taken to regulate sexual desire 13
  54. Marriage in Islam 24
  55. Choosing the wife 25
  56. Looking at women in a lawful manner 27
  57. Marriage Contract, Dowry & Wedding feast 31
  58. Etiquettes of the wedding night 35
  59. Foreplay between spouses 37
  60. Types of foreplay 39
  61. Rights of wife over the husband 46
  62. Rights of husband over the wife 48
  63. Divorce in Islam 50
  64. Khul’ in Islam 53
  65. Outcome of Sexual Freedom 55
  66. Conclusion 59
    

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